Laughing Gnome Hollow

The Church

1. What exactly is this church?

   It is a private prayer chapel in my garden. It is not a formal church, there is no formal clergy, there are no sermons, there is no congregation, and it is not open to the public. People are welcomed to visit and attend services if they want to, but this is private property and you must make an appointment and get prior permission to visit.

2. Why did you start a church?

   I wrote an answer here, but I'm afraid the explaination about my stalker and her hate group web site and all the acts of vandalism aimed at me by people who have read her web site, including to having burned down my house, poisoning/killing my cats, drive by shootings, death threats, cutting my car in half, and dumping a garbage truck in the Hollow, took up so much space that I had to move this infor off of this page and on to it's own page. So you can read my answer HERE.

   The short version of it is this: Once upon a time, at the age of 3 or 4, I had an encounter with a creature of debatable oragins, Etiole, a creature I personally refer to as being a type of Faerie, specifically a Far-Darrig (a Red Gnome) and also call my Guardian Angel. Yes, he nearly 40 years later, still visit's me, yes he is the "Laughing Gnome" of Laughing Gnome Hollow, yes he talks to me daily.

   A couple of local people took this as demon possion and alien abduction, and from there all hell broke lose.

   Here is the "short" version of what happened and how this church came to be:

   I have Autism, many people call me retarded, because of my difficulty in verbal speech. I make up for my speech impediment by writing instead.

   I started building my garden in 1978.

   In 1979 I had an encounter with an entity which lives here, whom I've come to refer to as a Faerie, specifically a Far-Darrig (a type of Gnome). He is the guardian angel or spirit guide, you will often hear me refer to. No one but my family knew about Etiole (that is his name) as I had never told any one about him.

   In 1982, I was baptized a Mormon (though I had been calling myself one since 1975) and I declared I was going to be a full-time missionary (preacher) and started calling myself "The Wandering Christian" (as this is what my name: Wendy Christine Allen, means). I enrolled in a Calvanist Bible Seminary, and spent the next 12 years studying every nook and cranny of the Bible, other holy texts, and every aspect of the history of ancient Isreal and Rome.

   In 1983 a tiny "house" was added to the garden, it was a place to get out of the rain (which we get a lot of here on the coast). At 6 feet long and 3 feet wide it is only big enough to hold a tiny folding table and chair, two people can stand up in the building provided they are under 5'8". The Little White House, would be where I spent many years meditating.

   Also in 1983, my car (a 1964 Dodge 330) died and was moved into the garden where it became my writing desk, the place where I would go on to write (over the next 31 years) 30+ books, 300+ short stories, and 2,000+ articles.

   On February 4, 1987, Liberace, my icon, my hero, my idol, my one true love, died, and I changed my life (and my wardrobe) to live forever in honor of his glorified memory. Locals seeing my 24/7 wardrobe go from the average 1970's flower child hippie to outrageous, outlandish, overblown sequin and fur dripping cape swishing glitter glam, said that I had lost my mind, due to being unable to cope with Liberace's death. (They may have been right.)

   From 1994 to 1999, Holy Roller Pentacostal tent revivals spent across the area, bringing with them, screaming preachers decked out in sequines and loud gospel shrieking rock bands, including a singer named, Carman. People started calling me a Jesus Freak and my fellow Mormons accussed me of being in danger of becoming a Christian. I puzzled over this accusation, because I had thought Mormons were Christians, but members of my congregation were horrified and disgusted that I would associate Mormons with "meer Christians".

   In the late 1990's word got out of my garden and Etiole and locals (being of a highly superstitious nature) reacted badly. Accusations of "witchcraft", "demons", and "animal sacrifices" started circulating and in 2001 the hate crimes started. Police traced the vandalism, drive by shooting, and dead pets back to members of the church I had attended faithful 3 days a week and 5 hours on Sunday, my entire life. Police filed a restraining order against the church and told me for my own safety to find a new church to attend.

   In 1997 I enrolled in a 3-year SDA Bible Seminary at the dieing request of my Native American (Kickapoo) SDA grandmother.

   Three years later, in 2003, members of my childhood (Mormon) church found which church I had started attending instead of theirs (a different congregation of the same denomination) and a slew of nasty letters flew around to all of it's members. What the letters said, I never knew, all I know it that I was asked to leave and when I refused to leave I was physically dragged out of the building and told never to set my "vile evil" self in it again.

   Heartbroken I attempted to attend 3 other congregations of this same denomination, but each time the letters from members of my childhood church would appear and I would be asked to leave, with no explanation other than that "We don't allow witches here". In 2005 I tried attending churches of other denominations, both Christian and non-Christian, was was continually called a "witch" where ever I went, so sought out local Wictches and Wiccans and was told by them I could not attend their group because I was NOT a witch and was jusy "way too Christian" for their tastes.

   Frustrated at being turned out of every church group no matter where I went, I took to spending more time in my garden meditating and talking with Etiole, who informed me:

   "All is as it is meant to be. You agreed to this life before you were born. You were told not to take this path, for few can, but you chose to take this course in life any ways. It is why I am here. The path you have chosen is hard, you can not take it on your own. Everything that has happened, and the things which are to come, have tried your faith and have a purpose. You must be strong to survive the days about to come. Your faith is about to be tried and tested beyond anything you could imagine. But this is what you asked for. You asked to be tested. You asked to be proven worthy. You asked to prove you were a good and loyal faithful servent. It was your choice. I am here to help you stay on that path. You can not walk this path alone. I cast aside my own goals to help you in yours. This is my choice.You are going to need me. I will never leave you. You can see me, when no one else can, because you need to know you are not alone."

   May 9, 2006 vandals cut the water main to our house, which is on the ocean and below sea level, causing a tidal wave force flood to wash through and take the house with it, leaving my dad in a coma. The summer was spent rebuilding the house, between hospital visits.

   October 18, 2006 the hate crimes reached an all time high when members of that church set fire to my house. All that survived the fire was my cats, my dog, my Liberace collection, and my comic books. Everything else, including my 3 parrots and my beloved pigeon Pidgie was lost in the fire. Me and Buddy and the 9 cats moved into "the tent" which was a 8x6 tarp attached to the back of The Little White House to form a lean to. Two cats were killed the same week, hit by a car. Tragedy would strike 2 months later when 5 cats suddenly died, and the vet announced they had been poisoned.

   December saw the arrival of my Volvo, but keeping a $900 car proved difficult and it became my home during the rain and snow, when it is too wet or cold to remain in the tent.

   At the time I also had a barn full of pet roosters. In the spring of 2007, my dog Buddy and I returned home from our daily walk on the beach to find my 75 pet rooster, dead: bed-headed and their headless bodied hanging in my rose bushes.

   In April of 2007, the vandals returned yet again, leaving my comic book collection (of over 10,000 books from the 1920s - 1970s which I had inherited from my grandmother) and my Liberace records in a mashed up mess of pulp and shattered vinyl. Now everything was gone but my dog, my white cat, and my dead "writing desk" car.

   November 2008 saw the death of my dog and the arrival of several feral mother cats each with kittens, resulting in my suddenly having 24 cats.

   In spring of 2009, a pair of Jehova's Witness came down to me and started to do their usual "Have you heard the good word" speech, when the woman stopped speaking and said: "I know you, your that Dog Murderer. A woman came to our church and warned us about you. You ought to be ashamed of yourself." and without another word they left, leaving me to wonder what the heck they were talking about. It was the first time I heard the accusation of "Dog Murderer" but it would be far from the last. To this day I have no idea where their church even is, or why any one went to them about me, seeing as I've never attended their denomination before.

   In May 6, 2009, I received the announcement from a Bishop I had never heard of (the new Bishop of the congregation I had not attended since the police order not to, in 2001) , that he had decided (based on letters he had received) I was being excommunicated on grounds of apostasy and witchcraft. Realizing that I had a stalker, whom was going to cause trouble no matter where I went, and even in places I had not been, I stopped trying to attend any church of any denomination,

   May 29, 2009, I acted upon my prediction of many years ago and became an ordained minister, and now homeless and living in a car, I was true to the meaning of my name: "The Wandering Christian". I moved "The Little White House" and turned it into a church, renaming it "The Little White Church" and naming my garden The Laughing Gnome Hollow.

   At 6PM on October 18, 2009 the Stake Presidant of the church contacted me to say I had an excommunication hearing date for 2PM October 19 2009. At 4AM October 19, 2009 I had a stroke so never arrived at the hearing and have no idea wither they decided to excommunicate me or not as they never told me the result of the hearing and they refuse to answer me when I ask, as they are now shunning me. I could not be bothered to worry about it though as it took me 3 months to relearn how to walk after the stroke. Though my short term memory seems to be gone for good, as is my recognition of faces and names: I can remember no face of no person I have ever known. Tell me your name and 10 minutes later I will ask you again. My memory of current events seems to be 10 minutes: say hello to me and 10 minutes later I'll see you again, with no memory of seeing you 10 minutes before. My long term memory, memories of the past, remains for the most part, though there seems to be pieces missing, such as I can not remember faces or names of people I once knew. My near total lack of any sort of short term memory has resulted in my writing downm literally absolutly every thing I say and do now, just to be able to know what it is I have said and done. I am told the stroke has given me the symptoms of Third Stage Alzhimer's, and that the dangae was caused by prolonged stress, and that I can and SHOULD sue the church, my stalker, and the Bishop for causing my currect stroke related health problems.

   April 2010 vandals attacked Laughing Gnome Hollow, damaging the building by smashing in one wall and tearing off it's door, but the damage to the Hollow itself was horrendous as they pulled up the plants and run them through a shreader leaving not enough left to replant anything, than brought in an 18-wheel trash hauling dump truck and filled the garden with a 10 foot tall and 25 foot diameter mountain of wooden shipping palets, twisted rusted metal, broken glass, and all sorts of trash, than smashing up all of the statues and arbors, finally repeating to the rose bushes, what they had done to the plants, all in all doing over $30,000 worth of damage. I arrived home while they were still in the Hollow and with camera in hand, the vandals were at long last photographed and identified as being 2 people, a husband and wife team.

   May 5, 2010 saw the vandals return and the theft and destruction of my car ( http://www.squidoo.com/StolenCar ). Many witnesses to the event as the couple moved my car (in peices) across the state, resulted in the recovery of the car, and the police orders for this couple to leave me alone, bringing about a firey end to the 9 long years of vandalism and hate crimes (or so I thought).

   By this time I had noticed that, for whatever reason these people attack in cycles, doing their worst violence in May and October of each year, causing me to investgate why that is, and I learned that the "ring leader" of the "mob" (a mental health patient suffering from parinoid schizophrenia and whom has a long history of violence towards a lot of people, going back to more than 20 years before I was even born) blames me for the death of her parents: one died in November, the other in April, and each May and October she works herself up into a frenzy while visiting their graves, than leaves their graves and on the way home arrives at The Laughing Gnome Hollow to unleash her vented fury. When I learned that over 90% of the vandalism was being done by this one single, solitary woman, the woman I learned was the letter writer and the original person who told people about Etiole so many years ago, I dubbed her "my stalker" and looking back at other events this woman was involved in, I suddenly realized, she had been stalking me for close to 30 years and I had never made the connection before. Now everything made perfect sence.

   As each of these things was being done by members of my childhood church, a congregation I had not attended since 2001 when the police asked me not to return there, and as the restraining order against said church had long ago expired, and as I now realized the sorce of the problem was not the entire congregation, but rather one woman with a long history of doing these sorts of things to other people, and as this was the congregation where ruled the Bishop threatening my excommunication, in August of 2010 I returned to said congregation to find out who this new Bishop was and what the heck was wrong with his hysterical hate crime flaunting members, or rather, I wanted to know what this woman could possibly be saying to them, to cause them to react as they had. My first day there I was attacked (beaten) by a women ("my stalker" herself) who addressed me as "whore", "dog murderer" and "home wrecker". Other women seeing her actions, joined in and told me I was not welcomed there and refused to allow me to attend classes. I was told I needed to repent, called "the great apostate" (by the Bishop), and accussed (also by the Bishop) of witch craft and casting death spells on members. In my visit, I learned that over the years several members had died "in freak accidents" and all of these deaths were attributed to me. The most stunning fact of all, was that I did not know a single one of these people. None of the members I had known 20 years ago, where still in attandance. When I asked why these people were saying these things, the answers all went back to "Letters we recieved, which told us all about you and that demon you got in your yard". Letters. Always letters.

   I continued attendance at that congregation, but during this time, 12 of my cats were poisoned, with each Sunday I returned home to find another dead cat, killed while I was in church, and September 24, 2010 saw the death of my last remaining original cat: my beloved 13 year old Utopia.

   I was beaten again in October 2010 and hospitalized with a cracked hip, and bed ridden for 2 months while it healed. Able to walk again in late December I returned again, but their snide remarks, and spewing of ugly lies and hidious gossip continued. I had hoped that by being in attendance at their congregation, they would see for themselves that the lies those letters had told them were untrue, but by March 2011 their hatred had only escalated and I did as Jesus said to do and shook their dust from my feet and came home and started building this web site and with the help of eBay one week later my Liberace collection was restored to it's original glory, seeing the return of his heavenly music playing throughout the garden.

   And so started "The Little White Church" of The Laughing Gnome Hollow, which runs by the teachings of Liberace who made it his goal in life to do one thing and one thing only: To spread love, happiness and joy to the wolrd.

   I still consider myself a Mormon and no amount of excommunication threats is going to stop me from calling myself a Mormon. I guess I am more correctly called a Christo-Pagan which means I believe both Christian and Pagan concepts, and in my case that means Mormon and Voodoo with a touch of Pentecostal, Seventh Day Adventist, Calvanism, Hindu, Budist, and Wicca mixed in, and as I'm a work in progress, I feel that every religion has something to teach me so I am open to studying all of them Christian, Pagan, or otherwise. I now accept every religion and join none of them, striving to be a friend and sister to every one regardless od sexal oriantation, creed, race, gender, gender identification, job, income, social statuse, culture, or religion: you are all equally my brothers and sisters (and other) and I welcome you and accept you as such. Hugs all around for every one.

   It is my wish that every body could get along and that arguments over Christian vs Jew vs Muslim vs Pagan vs Mormon vs Hindu vs Atheist vs Humanist vs whatever else, would just go away, because when it comes right down to it: it doesn't matter what "tradition" we come from or identify with, we are all brothers and sisters of the human race and THAT should be more important that anything else. And that is my goal for this site and for my church, which is what this site is sort of about, more or less. I don't care who you are, what you are, where you come from, or what you believe in: I welcome you with open arms and call you friend.

    

3. Does your church have a name?

   Nothing official, no. The building (a former shed) has been here since 1983 and has always been known as "The Little White House", so when I started converting it into a church in 2008, I just called it "The Little White Church". In more rescent months it has also been refereed to as "The Church of the Laughing Jesus", "The Church of the Happy Jesus", "The First Church of Buddy Jesus", and those whom have actually seen the church and where made painfully aware (and blinded by the rhinestones on my Liberace shrine) of just how obsessed I really am over Liberace have refered to the church as "The Church of the Holy Rhinestone".

4. Why is the church currently closed to the public?

   From April of 2010 through May 2010 vandals made several attacks on Laughig Gnome Hollow. The damage was extensive, including damage to the building, as well as the total destrution of the rose and flower garden, both of which no longer exist, due to the fact they ripped up the plants and run then through a shreader, as well as having cut the Goldeneagle in half and than stealing it and selling it to a car crusher. They ended by bringing in an 18-wheel dump truck full of garbage, and 500 wooden shipping pallets, and dumping it into the Hollow.

   I am only one person, I am homeless (thanks to these same vandals having burned my house down in October 2006), I live under a 8x6 tarp here at Laughing Gnome Hollow (sleeping in my Volvo during storms), because of my Autism I am unable to be hired and thus have no income (other than the income I get from here at this site, which is around $200 a month), the pallets each weigh 75lbs and I can barely lift them, I can not afford to have the garbage and pallets removed, it took my entire life savings to get the remaines of the Goldeneagle back and put it in storage, and thanks to my stalker-her website-and-her vandal church friends, none of my 264 relatives will speak to me and I am no longer allowed to attend the Mormon Church, thus I have not one single, solitary friend, and no one to help me remove this junk and rebuild the Hollow.   

   Thus Laughing Gnome Hollow is currently close to the public because at the moment the entire place in buried under an 8 foot tall mountain of garbage and it's taken me a year just to move enough of it to get a path down into the Hollow, and without some one to help me, it could take another 4 or 5 years or more, before I am able to clear this stuff out of here and start rebuilding the gardens. 

5. When will the church reopen?

   Well you can still come if you want to, it has not actually closed. It's just that climbing over the piles of garbage and pallets (dumped here by vandals), is pretty dangerous. The garbage and wood id full of rusty nails, broken glass, and sharp peices of twisted metal - three people have gone to the hospital already, in their attempts to climb over the mess.

   It would reopen sooner if I had some one to help me get this trash out of here, but I don't.

6. How can I help?

   People burned my house down after reading my stalker's web site. People killed my cats after reading her web site. I have recieved death threats from people after they read this web site. It was because of the lies on her site, that I am no longer allowed to attend the Mormon Church. I did contact her web host and they say that if enough people click on the report button and report the site as slander and hate, they will remove it, so if you REALLY want to help me out, would you please help bring and end to hate crimes and ugly rumors her web site is causeing, by going to it, scrolling to the very bottom of the page, and clicking on the button which says "Report as Spam" or "Report a Violation". Thank you.

   And if you know any one with a really big truck who would be willing to come haul 500 wood pallets and a whole lot of trash dumped here by the woman who wrote that website, out of here, (I have no money and no way to pay any one to haul this stuff out of here). I really, really, really need help getting this stuff out of here so I can have a yard and a garden again.

7. What denomination are you?

   The church? We are multi-non-denominational. Our motto is "Accept all religions and join none."

   I believe in accepting all religions and joining no religion, because I believe each has something important to teach me. I believe that all religions are true in that all religions ultimately have the goal of making us better people. I also believe that there are many religions out there because each person has a different way of learning and that they will identify with the religion which is best suited to them personally, and that while no religion is right for every one, every religion is right for someone.

   I myself? I was raised Mormon, I identify myself as Mormon, and I did not leave the Mormon church willingly.

8. Have you started a new religion? Is this a new religion? This isn't a cult is it?

   No and no and no.

   It is my own private personal church, started because I am no longer allowed to attend the chuch I grew up in, and after searching dozens of other religions for a replacement, I have been able to find none. I simply wanted a church I could go to where I could comune with God, and I was forced against my will to leave the church I wanted to be in, and so, put a church in my garden, so that I could have a safe place to go, a place with out the nasty comments or snide remarks of members who see me as inferior to themselves and thus unworthy to set foot in "thier" church (as they loved to brag: "This is MY church, YOU don't belong in MY church, I don't want YOU in MY church"...so said so many of the members and eventually it's leaders as well.)

   No this is not a religion. This is a sancutary. A house of prayer and worship. In here you will find no gossiping biddies, no wagging tounges, no pointing fingers, no false accusations, no judges, no leaders, no higher authority. In short no one to condemn me and if you want to come here, no one to condemn you either. This is not a social club, like religions are. This is a quiet place of silence and prayer.

   A religion is an organization that has sought the approval of the government to receive organization status, and I have founded no organization.

   A religion is a business which must send forms to the government proving they are a religion in order to recieve tax breaks. I have requested nor sent no forms asking the government to approve this as a religion.

   A religion is tax exempt and I am not tax exempt because I have no desire to be, thus never applied for tax exempt status. I am a regular ordinary citizen who pays taxes just like you.

   Religions activly seek out new members. I seek out only the energy of our loving creator. There are no members, no club membership papers, no records of who did what when, no record keepers, no book keepers, no money changers, no membership fees. Just me and my cats and my guardian angel, in a shed, in a garden, in a swamp, in a forest.

   If you wish to join us, you are more than welcomed to stop by and visit and worship and pray. No one will ask you for money. No one will tell you that you are too black or too white or too gay or too pagan or too rich or too poor or any other too anything else. No one will try to convert  you to anything for there is nothing here to convert too. No one will try to make you join a membership for there is no membership to join.

   A cult is a group that does things in secret and has a following. I do nothing in secret and I have no following.

9. Would You Start Your Own Religion?

   I actually have considered starting my own religion, because after years of searching I have yet to find on that believes as I believe. I know there are more than 15,000 religions out there already, and I have not been able to research all of them, but still, I've researched a hundred or so and nothing "clicked" with me.

   About 2 years ago, I started writing a book on my religious beliefs and why they did or did not fit with various religions. I wrote over 900 pages over the course of the next 6 months! When I got done I realized that I should start my own religion using this as a guidebook, because that's what it had become, my personal guidebook as to what I did and did not believe in!

   I do plan to have my book published in 4 volumes, I'm working on editing and rearranging it as we speak. Would I go so far as to start my own religion based on it? Don't know, I could see myself doing that, but I don't think I'm that motivated. I'm too lazy to do much "leading the people" or "organizing a group".  Of course I'm not a fan of big crowds either.

   No, I'm happy with my own private church and it's sporadic random here and there curiosity seeker visitors, so I don't see myself ever starting a religion.

10. How do you, as a minister, make money? Do you have a job other than the ministry or is the ministry a full time job?

    I do not use my ministry as a source of income, because in my ministry my goals are simple: worship God and allow others the freedom to do the same, thus why I started a church that welcomed anyone regardless of religion, race, sex, etc.

    For my income I am a multi-faceted freelance worker:

    • Artist (painter)
    • Author (novels and short stories)
    • Writer (non-fiction articles, books, and sermons)
    • Seamstress and Crafter (dolls, religious icons, shrines, CosPlay costumes and other stuff) 
    • Hoodoo Conjur Doctor aka A Voodoo Witch Doctor (psychic, medium, card reader, channeler, divination, hoodoo rootwork, candle spells, etc)

    I make 100% of my income online either selling my products and services, either on my own web sites (I run over 200 web sites, besides the one you are on right now,  which I have built over the years) or via commissioned websites (such as Zazzle and Etsy), or writing for e-zines.

    My top income maker is Zazzle ($200 - $600 per month) than Squidoo ($90 to $200 per month).

    All of the rest (AllPosters, LinkShare, Commission Junction, Amazon, CafePress, Associated Content, HubPages, Etsy, LuLu, Spoonflower, and eBay) each bring in under $50 per month, but they do bring in enough so that when I combine everything at the end of the month, I am able to live off of my online income fulll time; not as well as I'd like, but it does get a little higher each month, so over all I'm glad I switched to working at home online full time. The benefits of being home outweigh the low income. But yeah, there you have it.

    My making 100% of my income through these various channels, allows me the freedom to run my church without having to include requests for "tithes", "offerings", etc, which in turn allows me to focus on the spiritual side of the services rather than worrying about where the money is coming from to keep the church open.

    Oh yeah, and by doing it this way I am not tax exempt, because none of my income is coming from parishioners, so I pay taxes just like any one else.

11. Who makes up your congregation?

    Me and ten cats and Etiole, and once in a great while a few curiousity seekers who just want to see how small Maine's smallest church really is, or looking to try to get a photograph of Etiole.

12. But dont you require a certain amount of members and board of directors to be a legal congregation?

    Yes. According to Maine law, to be a congregation, requires 3 board members and 12 ACTIVE weekly members and a weekly Sunday School or Bible study class.

    And as I have already said several times, I have not started a religion, nor have I founded a church, nor have I registered this as any sort of a public place, business, or organization. I am no longer allowed to attend the church I had formally attended for 34 years and I was unable to find a church that would welcome me, after members of my formor church took it upon themselves to write up falsehoods, rumors, and lieing propaganda liturature about me, which they than circulated to well over 100 different church congregations all across Southern Maine. I have been refused admittiance in over 40 churches of over 15 denominations both Christian and non-Christian.

    Not being able to find a place to worship I turned my garden shed into a prayer chapel and this is now where I worship. There are no board of directors as there is no congregation to lead. There are no members, because there is nothing to join. There is nothing to join because this is not a Sunday School or Bible Study group. This is a prayer chapel and nothing more. It is a place just for me and my cats and Etiole, and any one who wants to join us, though because of local animosity caused by false hate filled rumors, no one ever visits this place because they want to worship or fellowship, or even just to spend time with me. The onlt people who show up are bigots and protestors with their hate crimes and curiostity seekers wanting to visit "a tourist attraction".

13. Can I join your congregation?

    There is no congregation to join.

    As I have said, this IS NOT a public church. It is a private prayer chapel which I built in my garden, because I was no longer allowed to attend my local church and I have never not gone to church before.

    But if you want to come here to pray, you can, but do know that this is private property and you can not come in here without prior authization and a schedualed appointment. This place is not open to the public.

    And if I'm not home, you are not allowed on the land, and do know that because of the hate crimes that have happened here, the police do patrol this area heavily and a squad car checks the land every 20 minutes.

    The police have a list of who should be here, when. If you are not on the list they will force you to leave, and if you are on the "other" list, a list of known vandals you will be arrested.

14. How often do you hold services?

    Almost daily and usually on a whim. There is no set time for services, they happen when they happen. Usually in the evening some time after 4PM and usually every day and usually lasting 15 minutes in the winter months and up to 5 hours in the summer months. Usually whatever time they start, they last until sunset or until the bears come into the garden, which ever comes first.

15. How often does the Board of Directors meet?

    Hmm. Let's see.

    There is me, and Etiole whom is my spirit guide and whom no one else seems to be able to see or hear, and than there are the ten cats. There is no one else and there are no actual regularly attending members.

    In other words, I have no board of directors, thus no one to meet with any ways.

16. How many members of the Board must be present to have a legal board meeting?

    At least two if there are 3 members, but I think it has to be "a mojority" if any voting is to be done, for example if your board of directors has 12 members and a vote will be held during the meeting than 7 members must be present. But check with local laws to find out what it says in your area.

17. What is the difference between a psychic, clairvoyant, clairaudio, clairsentient, clairessence, channeler, and a medium?

    Clairvoyance

    Clair = clear; voyance = to see

    Clairvoyance is a sixth sense, the ability to see into the spirit realm. It is the power to see objects and have visions, things which others can not see. A clairvoyant is also known as a Seer. The visions can be in the past, present or future. The sixth sense is related to the images that are always present that bring messages from other (spiritual) dimensions. These images can be shapes, colors, still, animated and remain only for a few seconds or last a longer time, and may include "ghosts" or the spirits of the dead. They can be 'seen' with eyes open or closed.

    In other words, some one who sees angels, faeries, spirits, ghosts, aliens, God, Jesus, Mary, etc, is clairvoyant.

    Clairaudience

    Clair = clear; audience = hearing

    Clairaudience means 'clear-hearing' in French, and is used to denote the faculty of extra sensory hearing, that is the perception of sounds, voices and music not audible to normal hearing. In other words, some one who hears angels, faeries, spirits, ghosts, aliens, God, Jesus, Mary, etc, is clairaudio.

    Clairsentience

    Clairsentience means 'clear sensing' in French, and is the faculty of super-physical sense perception. It overlaps with other psychic abilities such as clairaudience and clairvoyance, and is the psychic perception of smell, taste, touch, emotions and physical sensations, registered either internally or externally. Clairsentience manifests as brief smells, sounds, or sights.

    In other words, some one who tastes, smells, feels the touch of, or is able to sense the emotions of angels, faeries, spirits, ghosts, aliens, God, Jesus, Mary, etc, is clairsentient. A channeler is a psychic whom the entity is speaking through.

    A Reader of Akashic Records

    The Akashic Records contain all information and knowledge about human experience, the cosmos, and each and every human life with all their past lives. Records of all that is, was and ever will be. Many clairvoyants (psychics), access them for clients through visualizations of a large library with record books or filing systems. The information contained in the Akashic Records contains information from the Collective Consciousness of all and from the Universal Energy. The information is available to every soul on earth through meditation and practice, not just to a select few. Many people think that the records cannot be changed, however, they can. We are here on earth to experience, to learn, to study, to grow. Without the ability to change the records our experiences would be very limited indeed.

    We are also here to bring heaven to earth. If we were stuck in a place where we could not learn, change and grow, we would not be able to manifest the changes we are seeing right now on Earth.

    Mediumship

    A medium is a person who is able to sense the presence of a nonphysical entity, either through the physical senses or by way of thoughts and impressions conveyed by the entity. From the most fundamental perspective, this nonphysical information is spiritual energy that is emanated by entities residing beyond the veil. Mediumship, is the act and process of conveying this energy into the physical realm.

    In other words, some one who sees, hears, and speaks to angels, faeries, spirits, ghosts, aliens, God, Jesus, Mary, etc, is a medium.

    Precognition

    Pre = Before; Cognition = know

    Precognition means to know before (as in knowing before something happens. One who predicts the future is called a PreCogitive, Prophet, Soothsayer, Revelator, or Fortune Teller.

    Retrocognition

    Retro = back; Cognition = know

    Knowing the past. Some one who can see past events is called a Cognitve, Seer or Soothsayer.

    Telepathy

    Tele = distance; pathy = feelings = feelings from a distance, or knowing thoughts and feelings from a distance.

    Psychokinesis

    Psyco = mind; Kinesis = move = moving things with the mind

    Someone who is able to move objects with their mind is called a poltergeist.

    Psychometry

    The ability to receive information about an object or the owner of an object, by holding the object.

    Remote Viewing

    The ability to gather information about a person, place, or 'target' that is in an area other than in the physical perception of the viewer. Or, viewing something that is in a remote place.

    Emapth

    The ability to feel the emotions of people standing close to you.

    Parapsychology

    Para = Beyond; Psychology = Study of how our minds work.= The study of how our minds work beyond the everyday ways of thinking.

    The study of all things psychic. According to scientists we only use 10% of our brains. People with psychic abilities are believed to be using part of the other 90%. It is also believed that anyone can work on using a higher percentage of their brain; therefore developing their psychic abilities.

Doctrines & Beliefs

1. What is your Creed and Forms of Worship? What do you believe in?

   I believe in Liberace.

   Creed and Forms of Worship

   We are of a Christo-Pagan persuasion, meaning we are both Christian and Pagan. We accept Jesus as our Lord and Saviour and we respect the earth and strive to live in harmony with nature.

   Our church was founded and is lead by a Native American who was born Mormon (34 years), was raised with the help of a Pictish-Hoodoo Witch (8 years) and Kickapoo Shaman Holy Woman (17 years) grandmothers, was professionally trained for the ministry at a Calvanist Seminary (12 years) and at a Seventh-Day Adventist Seminary (3 years), and was "officially saved" during a Holy Roller Pentacostal Tent Revival (which lasted 5 years). It is through combining these many varried faiths that this church was founded.

   We believe that the realm of Spirits is multifaceted and complex, and includes not only the spirits of the Dead and Angels, but also the Spirits of Celestial, Elemental, and Nature Beings otherwise more commonly known as Faeries; of Animals and Plants and Minerals; of Saints and Martyrs; and of many lesser Goddesses and Gods, and of one pair of supreme supernatural beings or Creator Spirits, refered to as God the Heavenly Father and Our Heavenly Mother. We believe in the immanence of Spirit, the efficacy of Prayer, and the practice of Setting Lights. We perform regular and specific forms of altar work, such as Candle Services, Worship and Praise Services, Harvest Offerings, Blessings of the Animals, Blessings of Tools, Anointing, and Rootwork for the alleviation of suffering and the achievement of conditions that can only be accomplished by the grace of Divine Will.

   We believe that some among us are Prophets, Seers, and Visionaries, who, by the grace of Divine Will, are gifted to see into the realms of Spirit and to contact Spirits for the aid of those to whom they may read or carry messages, using such forms of divination as they see fit, whether by direct Spirit communion, consulting the Stars, working with Animal Spirits, talking to the Dead, or making use of Oracular tools of various culturally traditional types.

   We are a "Full Gospel" church, accepting as Spiritually vital and worthy of study all of the Sacred Texts that have been revealed to humanity through the ages. In services our ministers use predominatly the New Testament and The Book of Mormon, but ministers are welcomed and encouraged to use all Sacred Texts from all religions and cultures, both Christian and non-Christian, so long as the texts are promoting the Universal message of: Love, Peace, Hope, and Charity. We believe in the study of holy text as a way to better ourselves and bring ourselves closer to our loving Creator. The New Testament and the Book of Mormon are the core texts whih we use, but they are not the only texts we accept as truth inspired by our Heavenly Father. All members are welcomed to bring and share holy texts from their own culture and religion, that we may all grow and learn together.

   We practice Baptism by immersion, of consenting adults only. We believe in repentance of sins followed by baptism by immersion. We do not believe in baptism of innocents (children & babies) as they have not sinned and are not in need of repantace. We do not believe in useing baptism as a "club membership card", so if you've been baptised elsewhere there is no need for re-baptism.

   We believe that upon baptism, as Jesus promised, a Holy Spirit or Comfortor will be ever present at your side (pointing out that Jesus said "A" not "THE", meaning that each person has their own special guardian spirit to comfort them, not just one Holy Spirit comforting every one. We therefor believe in guardian angels and spirit guides, and that every person has one.

   We perform Marriages and Funerals and Blessings and no one is excluded from these. We are opperating in a state which allows legal same-sex marriages, though even if we were not, we would still perform them any ways..

   We hold a regular Sunday & Sabbath (Saterday) Worship Services in our church building, which is open to the public, as is the church itself open on a daily basis for those who wish to use the space to meditate, pray, read, and set Lights for petition and praise. (The Church is currently closed to the public due to massive damage by vandals and will reopen, once repairs have been made to make it safe for the public to enter once again.)

   We welcome all deities to our altars and all congregants to our Fellowship. No one who wished to worship here, is ever turned away based on religion, sex, race, gender, etc. No matter who you are or what you believe, you are welcome to join us without fear of being converted.

   We believe we were created by a supreme supernatural being or rather a pair of beings. We believe in Iam, an "all powerful male" God, father of the man called Jesus, and we refer to him as our Heavenly Father, but we also believe that he has a wife. We believe we have both a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother. We also believe that by all definitions they are aliens. They live in the heavens. Where are the heavens? The visit us in beams of light and flying chariots. And how do aliens visit us? But than again, We believe we are all children of spiritual parents not of this earth, which than makes us all aliens anyways.

   We believe in life before birth and life beyond death and multiple plains of existance in which we exist for thousands of life times with each life time being like moving on to a new grade in school. Death therefor is not an end, but rather a graduation into the next level of learning. We believe that we are here on Earth to learn about Love, Peace, Hope, and Charity and that it is our mission to learn, teach, and practice the art of Love, Peace, Hope, and Charity as often as we possibly can in every day of our live here on Earth.

   We believe in universal love and peace.

   We believe in living our lives to follow after the examples of Jesus and Ghandi.

   We believe that Jesus was the son of supreme supernatural being, named Iam and commonly known as "God". He was not God made man. He only "seemed" like a God because he had the same supernatural powers his alien father from the heavens had. Jesus and God are not the same person. We believe us to all be children of God, and Jesus was our brother, as we are all brothers and sisters of each other.

   We believe in accepting Jesus into your life, but also believe that this means much more than just shouting "I'm saved!", this means acting on that acceptance by living your life as Jesus lived his: helping those around you, being a friend to those in need, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, comforting the broken hearted, loving thy neighbor, doing good to them who hurt you, and over all trying to live your live by doing what it is that Jesus would have done, for only than can you truely say you have accepted Jesus into your life.

   We believe that unnatural death (ie killing and murders) are wrong, and therefore also believe that wars, executions, abortions, hunting, and the eating meat are all grave sins, because one can not promote either love or peace with the blood of another living being on your hands.

   We believe in ecumenism (equality of religions). Which means We also believe in the following:

   #1) All religious beliefs and practices should be considered equal and valid so long as they do not cause or promote physical or psychological harm to others.

   #2) Women should be considered as equal to men in every respect and vocation to include ministry within their respective religions.

   #3) Sexual orientation has no bearing on the practice of religion; homosexuals should be considered equal to heterosexuals in every respect and vocation to include ministry and marriage within their respective religions. One can be both homosexual and a good Christian, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist, Wiccan, Taoist, Native American Religion practitioner, or member or minister of any other church, faith, or religion. Being a "good person" does not require you to be heterosexual.

   #4) Any church or religion that discriminates against others due to race, creed, gender, financial status, marital status, living conditions, sexual orientation, the way they are dressed, or any belief that does not cause or promote physical or psychological harm to others, is in error.

   #5) All churches and religions that hold that immortality is gained by morality (care, concern, and action for the physical and psychological well being of others) are worshiping different spiritual manifestations of the same God; God can take many forms. God can appear as a man or a woman. God created many religions because he knew no one religion was right for every one. God is good! And guess what? God by any other name (the great spirit, the light, the pleasians, the force, mother earth, father time, brother wind, sister moon, cousin it, mars, zeus, venus, etc) is still God!

   #6) All churches and religions should welcome ecumenism and be open to any dialogue which may further ecumenical growth.

   #7) Love every one. Return good for evil. Give to the poor. Help the needy. Feed the hungry. Care for the sick. Make right any wrongs. Over all help one another. We are all brothers and sisters and should treat each other as such.

   And while there is a lot more to our beliefs (full details of which can be found in the FAQs section of this site), these are the basic foundations upon which We build doctrines and by which we encourse our members to live their lives.

2. Reading things you have said over the years, your beliefs and creed and forms of worship change every few years. Well the ones you have now change as well? And how do you explain these changes?

   I never said that what I believe in was FULLY CORRECT.

   I never said that the creed I follow is FULLY CORRECT.

   I never said that my forms of worship are FULLY CORRECT.

   NO human can claim to KNOW the truth of creation, God, etc. Any religion, church, preacher, or person claiming to KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT their methods and beliefs are FULLY CORRECT, is in error.

   Any religion, church, preacher, or person claiming to KNOW WITHOUT A DOUBT their methods and beliefs are FULLY CORRECT and say you MUST believe and obey EVERYTHING they believe and obey OR ELSE be PUNISHED (in this life or the next), is suffering from a mental illness which causes them to seek to control others and is NOT speaking for ANY God and should be avoided at all costs.

   All any religion, church, preacher, or person can HONESTLY CLAIM is that they HONESTLY  BELIEVE their CURRENT methods and beliefs are FULLY CORRECT.

   Likewise no one can say they KNOW there is only one God or there is no God or there are many Gods. They can only say that they BELIEVE there is only one God or there is no God or there are many Gods.

   Until God makes a PUBLIC appearance SEEN and HEARD BY ALL, no one person or religion can claim FULLY CORRECT knowledge of  who or what God is, and even after such an event they would still ONLY be able to say what they know of him/her from that single solitary glimpse, and it takes a lot more than a glimpse to come to know ANYONE, even God.

   And even than, it would require science to test God's DNA to prove that God REALLY was God and not just a human with a really good hoax.

   I FULLY expect that later advances in science will prove that I am in error about things which I currently believe. My way of expressing this is:

   "I am not certain that all which I currently believe is correct. I AM certain, however, that what I believe is consistent with all of the currently available data that has been presented to me. Over the years my beliefs, creed, and forms of woship have changes due to being presented with historic and scientific data which resulted in my reconsidering what it is I previously BELIEVED to be true. And in the future, as I gain access to more data my beliefs will continue to grow, expand, and evolve. I am not content to simply BELIEVE what it is I am told to believe, simply because it is what others say I SHOULD believe, only because it is what THEY believe. Any dead fish can go with the flow. Only a fish that is alive, kicking, and using it's brain, can sift through the current, avoid the bears, and make it safly up the waterfall. I don't intend to be left behind with the dead fish below, nor do I intend to be caught by the bears halfway to the top, I intent to fight my way all the way to the top and if I have to change my beliefs, creed, and forms of worship to get there, than so be it."

   One must also keep in mind the ONLY HARD EVIDANCE there is that God exists, is the fact that he ONLY speaks inside the heads of mentally disturbed people as voices in their heads and visions in their dreams.

   God has yet to speak to a mentally stable individual.

   God has yet to speak outside of some one's head.

   God has yet to do anything to PROVE he is anything other than the hallucination caused by metal illness

   It is because of thiss FACT that we are forced to BELIEVE rather than KNOW God.

3. What are your thoughts on gays: evil or equal?

   Years ago I would have said evil.

   Today I say equal.

   I knew this guy for years, I knew he was always hanging out with another guy, never once occurred to me they were gay. I used to be very anti-gay, he never said anything about it, but one day his friend heard me and he did. He said: "You know I'm gay, right?"

   I said, "No, really?"

   He said, "Yea, with him." Pointing over to my friend.

   It really forced me to stop and think about the things I was saying and believing about gay people, because this guy had been my best friend for 31 years (of course the fact that he was also a drag queen probably should have tipped me off, but it didn't - I just thought of him as an actor on stage which he was, only he kept on dressing like a woman off stage too - people see us together and think it's 2 girls hanging out -you can't tell he's a man and most people don't know he's not a woman, me and his friend are among the few that know)

   So you know, maybe I should have realized he was gay, but it never came up, I never asked, he never said, and we've been best friends over 30 years, with him knowing the way I talked about gays, than suddenly I find out he is gay and it makes me reconsider what I thought about gays, and I realized, everything I knew about gays I knew from religious propaganda the church I grew up in had handed out in services, and all of the stuff their literature was say was WRONG.

   The pamplets they were handing out  was saying stuff about how gays are degenerate criminals, thugs, rapists, child molesters, drunks, serial killers, terrorists, I mean, if it is was a criminal act and a man was doing it than automatically he was gay, according to the stuff this church was handing out, but never once did it tell me that gay meant men-with-men...it was written assuming whoever was reading this stuff, already knew that part, but at the time I was reading it I was teenager, AND I have Autism, so if you don't spell it out for me, I really don't pick up on things - I mean, I can learn stuff, but I'm really slow and I need you to just go through every detail before I understand you.

   So, for years, I thought gay was a slang word for criminals, I had no idea it meant something else entirely and that it had anything to do with a person's sex life! No one had ever said that to me, they were all to busy, reading newspaper articles about home break ins and kidnappers and than saying "See there goes another gay working for Satan".

   My friend knew I had Autism and he had previously attended the same church and had seen the little tracts they handed out about gays, so he knew I was meaning something else when I was talking about gays, but his friend didn't, and so he got angry.

   My friend had to explain to him, what was going on with the miscommunication here, and than told me, "A man is gay if he sleeps with another man, that's what gay is."

   But than my answer to him, "Well what the hell's wrong with that?"

   His poor friend was so confused and so was I and it took a lot of explaining from my friend to both of us to get it figured out that me with my Autism had never really been told what gay ACTUALLY meant and I was thinking of something totally different.

   But than he pointed out something else I had never considered: "Liberace was gay." Really? Now that really had to make me rethink what gay meant, because here was a man who lived the life of a near saint, and yet, he too was gay. I had to ask, if my friend and Liberace were both these kind, loving men who never hurt any body and spent their lives trying to help every one they could, and they were gay, how the hell could gay mean what I had been told it meant?

   I would ask you to read this article.

   That could have been written by me. I used to be VERY outspoken against gays, until I realized a lot of people I knew were: my boss and 2 fellow sales associates at Macy's were gay, a friend from church was a lesbian, and for some reason I never realized that my best friend (for 31 years) who is a drag queen, was bi with as many boyfriends as he had girlfriends, though in later years stayed just with one man.

   It was I guess around 2006, that I really start looking into what the Bible said about gays and, what I found shocked me...it did not say what I thought it said. Odd.

   And than there was Jesus and his "love every one creed"...I had to ask, how can I love EVERYONE if I'm singling out gays?

   But than the really big question involved my drag queen best friend, we'd been friends 31 years, he is the dearest, kindest, most giving, loving, Christ-like person I know and the ONLY thing that he's ever done "wrong" was his sex life...and he's more faithful to the man he's with than every single heterosexual couple I have ever known! I had to ask, how is God going to condemn him for that, in light of the rest of his life?

   In the end I did a lot of soul searching and now am as much a supporter of gay rights as I used to be a protester of it years ago!

4. But didn't you used to be anti-gay?

   Yes. I was anti-gay many years ago, until I found out my closest and dearest friend was gay and it made me rethink the things I once believed.

   I since became an outspoken supporter of gay rights and ended up the target of several hate crimes as a result and was forced to leave the church I had attended for over 30 years...they made me choose between them or my friend with the threat of excommunication if I did not cut off all ties with him.

   Several Bishops have given several various reasons why they wanted me excommunicated, my having a gay best friend was only one of the reasons, but ultimatly was the reason I choose to start my own church. He was not being allowed to attend church servies, not only in that church but in dozens of other local churches. There is a "gay church" (which is painted bright purple and well known in the area as "the purple church") nearly a 3 hours drive from where he lives and every church he tried to attend would tell him to "go to the purple church where you belong". (He's a drag queen and VERY openly and flamboyantly gay or rather bi.)

   In his youth, he was a male prostitute living on the German boarder of France in the 1930's. He is very old, a Holocaust survivor who had been used in Hilter's "homosexual gene testing", beaten, abused, starved, degraded, tested, humiliated, and forced to wear a pink triangle. He came to American to escape the memories of his past, but never changed his career, and continued to be a profesional drag queen on stage and a transvestite or hijri male prostitute off stage. Considers himself to be "of the third sex" both genders and neither gender.

   He was my next door neighbor. I grew up seeing him every day. I never saw him as anything "different" or "out of the ordinary". He was just there, just another person I saw every day throughout my childhood. My family, being the cold, unloving people that they were gave no emotional support, no hugs, not even a smile. No one talked to any one, and no one was allowed to leave the property (compound) except to go to church. No one was allowed to have "friends from the outside world" because the "outside world" was "evil" and filled with "Satans influance". None of the children were allowed to go to school, and me with my Autism, I was "the demon possessed one" so none of the other children were allowed to speak to me.

   My drag queen friend next door was my one and only single contact not only with the outside world, but with any sort of kind words. He was also my one and only friend. The one and only person to not only speak kind words, but any words at all. The one and only person to ever hug me. The one and only person, who did not tell me I was "evil" or "the child of Satan".

   I never noticed, that he was a man wearing a dress, why should I when I grew up in a house filled with pictures of Jesus - and when did Jesus ever wear pants? His long curcly hair was shorter than Jesus, hair, so why should I think it wrong? Nor did it ever occurr to me that he might have been gay, considering I had no idea what gay even was. All I knew about gay, was that gay was "evil" and that only degenerate criminals and serial killers were gay, because this is what the adults in my life told me gay meant.

   At the age of 30, I escaped the compound and came face to face with "the real world" (normal society) for the first time, and I had great difficulty adjusting to it. People were strange - woman had short hair and wore pants. Men did not wear suits. People wore strange looking things they called t-shirts and blue jeans. There were phones and tvs and roads and cross walks. And most baffling of all - people talked! To each other. A lot. And they did not look at the ground, they looked at each other. I had a very hard time adjusting to life outside the compound, because it was like I had landed on a different planet, yet all I had done was stepped outside the property and walked less than a mile. The cloests thing I can find to compare the place I grew up in, are a group called The Amish.

   Adjusting to life on the outside, was very hard for me and it was my drag quee friend who was the only person I had to go to for advise and help. He knew this world, he knew the ways of these strange new creature which called themselves humans...he explained to me that I was human, something I had not known before than. This man was the key to everything that helped me to cope with the change from 30 year old Autistic feral child with zero socalization to a (somewhat) normal human adult, in the space of just 4 years.

   But than, came the harsh reality of the "normal" world outside of the compound I had grewn up in: As friendless as I had grewn up, so too was the drag queen with no friends. He had lost his wife and son to Hitler decades ago. His long term (male) lover was in and out of mental health instatutes. Retired from his life on stage and prostitution, he was now battling with a "experimental disease" given to him by Nazis, that resembeled AIDS but was not AIDS. His life was hell. Escapeing from Hitler to seek freedom in America had been one battle after another for him. He was accepted no where by no one, thrown out of stores, resturaunts, and churches at every turn.  Protestors trailed behind him with signs and throwing rocks at him. His sleep haunted by nightmares of tortue in Nazi camps and Nazi hospitals and his days filled with anti-gay protestors, he became a recluse, terrified of the meer sight of people for fear of farther persicution. His family dead and his lover locked away in a padded cell, he was now completly and totally alone. And I came to realize that just as he was all I had for many years, I too was all he had.

   And than my church in it's infianite wisdom, chooses to pursicute him farther, by threatening me, demanding that I cease all contact with the only person, who ever tried to help me. Where were they all those years when I begged them to help me escape the compound my family was keeping me locked in? Where were they when I finally did escape and needed help adjusting to society? Where were these good, holy Christians?

   They were too busy putting down gays and lobying against gay marriage and prancing around in front of my friend's house with anti-gay signs, to have any time to actual be a Christian and help an Autistic child who was being abused and neglected.

   They were too busy putting down gays and lobying against gay marriage and prancing around in front of my friend's house with anti-gay signs, to have any time to actual be a Christian and help an Autistic adult who learn how to live in their world.

   They were too busy being filled with hate, to do what Jesus would do and help a person who needed their help. And who was it that did help me? Who was it that actually ACTED like a Christian and helped someone? The gay man, they were now telling me I had to cut ties with or else be excommunicated for consorting with evil persons.

   Jesus taught us to love EVERY ONE. So why would I choose to stay with the hate filled mob?

   I choose my friend and set out to start a church that welcomed every one and that is how I came to find the ULC and became an ordained minister, and than started a church of my own.

5. What are your thoughts on guns?

   Jesus said if you live by the sword you die by the sword. So every one who owns a gun ought to be shot. Acording to the Bible, it is what Jesus would do.

   Love breeds love, so to does hate breed hate. Guns breed death. Death breeds death. The soul purpose of a gun is to kill. No one whom has ever killed anything can pass on to the higher realms of Heaven. Take a life, lose your soul.

6. Do you believe in angels?

   Do I believe in angels? ~ Yes

   Angels are beings of light who fly from God's mothership to give us God's messages, protect us, serve us, love us, reward us, or punish us, depending on God's orders. They come in many species and may or may not have wings. Have I totally freaked you out yet? Keep reading, because I'm about to send your mind spinning.

7. Do you believe in Faeries?

   Do I believe in Faeries? ~ Yes

   Faeries are beings of light who fly from God's mothership to give us God's messages, protect us, serve us, love us, reward us, or punish us, depending on God's orders. They come in many species and may or may not have wings. Faeries are a type of angel that live on earth among us.

8. Do you believe in aliens and UFOs?

   Do I believe in aliens? ~ Yes

   Aliens are beings of light who fly from God's mothership to give us God's messages, protect us, serve us, love us, reward us, or punish us, depending on God's orders. They come in many species and may or may not have wings. In ancient times we humans called them angels.

   Do I believe in UFOs? ~ Yes

   I believe the VISION-D8 is self explanatory. If not, just Google it and find out what it is and who the witness to that event was.

   And here's the BIGGIE:

   Have you ever heard of Etiole? The White Monkey? Memegwasi? The White Salamander? The VISON-D8? The Saco River Curse?

   Yes? Well, now you know just exactly WHO I am. I am EelKat, the one and only.

   No? Well, let me introduce you to the Faerie whom lives in the swamps of Old Orchard Beach, Etiole, my fierce and sometimes violent protector, personal body guard, and guardian angel:

   This is Etiole: http://www.squidoo.com/amphibious-aliens

   And this is where he (and I) live: http://hubpages.com/hub/The-Saco-River-Curse

   Few have seen him, but many are they who have encountered and believe in him. There is a reason why people who know me well, stay FAAAR away from me and call me a poltergeist, and Etiole is that reason.

9. Are you gonna try and convert me?

   Nope. I've nothing to convert you to.

   You reminded me of a blog post I wrote a few years ago. I'm going to re-post it here...

   An *Interesting* Email: Follow My One True Religion Or Else Burn In Hell For Eternity!

   posted: Sept. 1, 2008

   After having been an outspoken opinionated being on the internet since 1997, I am now used to and expect to get a lot of, flames in my Yahoo inbox. Today was no exception.

   This morning I opened my email to find, not, one, not two, not even a lowly three, but 8, count them 8 emails from a single person, all 8 of which were pretty much the same. It's been a while (about 4 years) since I last heard from this person, I had thought he had given up. There was a while when every day, brought 10, 12, 30, or once 64 emails from this raging (stalker????) fanboy of mine. Not having heard from in in about 4 years I thought I was well rid of him, than I open my inbox today to find, low and behold, no such luck. Oh well.

   As usual, his emails are on one topic and one topic only: religion. Specifically HIS religion. A religion which he refers to as *THE ONE TRUE RELIGION*. I met this guy in person long ago and far away, maybe 20 odd years ago, because, as you may have guess, we used to attend the same church. A church which I stopped going to some time ago.

   Today's round of emails, as always are a bunch of rants about how I am on the road to hell because I left *THE CHURCH*, how nothing matters in life but *THE CHURCH*, how HE KNOWS I have not been attending my Sunday School classes (because God told him so), and that bad things will happen if I do not return to *THE CHURCH*.

   You know what? This guy lives half way around the world from me, and yet, *HE KNOWS* I have not been attending class?

   ???

   Each of the emails went on and on for page after page of all the hows and whys of *THE CHURCH* being THE ONE TRUE CHURCH and why every person in the entire earth who is not a member of *THE CHURCH* is going to burn in hell.

   Let him rave that men may know him mad.

   I Say... No One Has the Right to Tell Anyone Else What to Believe or How To Believe it!

   Here is a copy of the email I sent back to him:

   And you would know WHO attends WHAT, WHEN.... how exactly?

   Santa Claus's crystal ball? or maybe Tinker Bell sprinkled fairy dust in your all seeing eyes?

   I know, the Easter Bunny told you which meeting people attend because he was there Easter Sunday, right?

   I'm of the belief that people who believe in invisible beings are border line insane and should be institutionalized... medical science can prove that people who hear *God's voice* are raving lunatics. And that is my opinion of (NAME OF RELIGIOUS LEADER REMOVED) and every other so called *Christian* like him.

   Let me know next time you see or hear God so I can call your local asylum and tell them to get the straight jacket ready.

   Was my answer to his email harsh? Yes, but the man is a raving lunatic and I believe it got the point across, which was that in his ravings, he was doing nothing but making a complete fool of himself, and there for to give him a reasonable answer would have been nothing but a waste of my time.

   Why would it have been a waste of my time? Because no matter what I had said, his response would have been the same: more hysterical nonsense. So why should I waste my time and energy on a well thought out and logical answer when, he does nothing but shriek hysterics? It is pointless to try to reason with the unreasonable, and so I say: Let them rave on that men may know them mad.

   I don't know, this really is getting out of hand now. If he expects me to give him a civil answer than he better start calming down, thinking rationally, and actually make an attempt at asking me a civil question.

   There is something to be said about religious fanitics, and believe me, it is not good and can not be said here on this G rated blog either. And why is it that these *super Christians* all speak in one language: hysterical shrieking?

   That said, I don't care what religion a person chooses to follow. Religion is a personal choice. To follow one faith over another or to follow no faith at all, is something that only the individual is able to decide. No one has the right to tell any one else what to believe in, which church to attend, what day to attend church, which faith to follow, or if they should even follow any faith at all. To tell someone to follow *the one true religion* is to practice communism, which is illegal in the United States and could get you a life sentence in prison. Do these religious fanatics ever stop to think about THAT?

   In saying that your faith are wrong and their faith is right, they are no different from Hitler in his actions against the Jewish faith. Now there's a bite to chew on!

    

10. Do Animals Go To Heaven?

    I Say: Yes They Do!

    Wither or not there are heaven and hell is debatable, as I said earlier, however, I do believe there is an afterlife of some sort and I do believe that animals go there.

    I do not think that the next life, it is all very much different from life here and I believe we well be reunited or even reborn again into the same family circles in the next life as this one and that we have already done so in past lives as well.

    I also believe that the animals who guided us on our journey through this life have been our spiritual guides in past lives and shall continue to be our guides in the next life. Animals are different than people, they have a stronger connection with nature, and thus a stronger connection with the spirit world. It is for this very reason, that people with strong spiritual connections often also have was is called Animal Magnetism. Animals are attracted to and less afraid of Humans with a high connection to the spirit world. Like wise, it is why animals naturally fear certain people. The less spiritual the person is, the more fearful animals are of them.

    Animals are attracted to certain people. Animals seek out and find those whose spirits are most in need of their assistance. If an animal suddenly follows you home and tries to live with you, you should welcome it, because chance are good that you and he were once spirit companions in another plain of existence, and he sought you out in this one, to spend another life time with you once again.

    I believe that animals are much more innocent and spiritual than humans, which is why they can not and do not commit sin, and because of this I also believe that the same animals can continue to return to us in this life in many forms to help us on our path to the next life.

11. Heaven and Hell: Are They Real?

    Some Thoughts on Hell:

    Since most of my online forum posting is done through one of the hundreds of Proboards forums, it is only natural that it should inspire many of the things I write on my many web sites. While on Proboards Support today, I came across an interesting thread and knew instantly that it deserved a link back to it from my lens here. Here is the original thread, the question asked, and the multiple choices given. At the time of my adding this here, the poll has 4 pages of comments and debates. In order to vote on this forum poll (or join the discussion and add a comment) you have to be a registered member, but here is the link anyways.
    
    
    
    The Question: What is the worst part of Hell do you believe?

    Multiple Choice Answers:

    I dunno (5 votes, 20%) God hates you in Hell (1 vote, 4%) God doesn't care for those in Hell (3 votes, 12%) No water (0 votes, 0%) Never being able to be on Support Proboards again (8 votes, 32%) Demons (1 vote, 4%) Satan (4 votes, 16%) Fire/Other/Others/Mix/Mixes (3 votes, 12%)

    (These vote results were taken on May 16, 2008.)

    How I voted and what I said there:

    I put dunno, cause I have no idea what it would be like or even if there is such a place.... I've heard of a dozen or more different interpretations on what hell is or isn't, and no one really knows anything for certain anyways, I mean, how many people went to hell and came back to tell the tale?

    If real demons were anything like fantasy demons (namely Lord Sesshomaru :-* ;D ) though, I'd love Hell! LOL! ;D

    As I said earlier, wither or not there are heaven and hell is debatable, however, I do believe there is an afterlife of some sort.

    I do not unnecessarily believe in either heaven or hell. I do not think life after death is all very much different from life here and I believe we well be reunited or even reborn again into the same family circles in the next life as this one and that we have already done so in past lives as well.

    Heaven, the way I see it, would be spending eternity with those you love in a peaceful place free of heartache, sickness, and war. If there was a hell, I think it would be a place where we are separated from those we love: our friends, our families, and our pets.

    Interesting question, but does the Bible ever use either the actual words "Hell" or "Satan"? Looking in 16 different translations, I only see these words used in the modern day versions (AMP and NKJ) but not in any of the older versions; also there is no historical record of there being a reference to Satan prior to 300 A.D.

    But you have to understand the history of how the myth of Heaven and Hell got started:

    Once upon a time people believed the world was flat, and of three levels. The upper level of light, where good gods lives, the middle level of fog and soil where humans lived and the underground level of darkness where the bad gods lives. Because the world was thought to be flat, it was also thought that the sun sunk below the ground each night and travled through a river to the other side of the earth, where it poped out of the ground the next day, to float in the sky again. It was also believed that while the sun was underground it was burning the bodies of all the people whom had died and been buried underground. The theory farther continued to say that while the sun was underground, the dirt from the upper level feel off because the sky got too cold. The falling dirt was causing the gold bricks of the floors of god's palace to show through in the night sky. They did not know they were looking at stars, and they were afraid the gold bricks would fall on them if the sun stayed underground too long.

    It is from this ancient Mesopotainian myth, that the creation of Heaven and Hell were formed years later as the story evolved, and it is because of this old myth that I have dificultly believing in either Heaven or Hell, not now that I know where the idea came from.

12. Do We Have a Soul? What is the Spirit? and What About Ghosts? Are Ghosts Real?

    Yes, after we die, our bodies decay, and nothing is left but mud; however, by that time our spirit bodies have already left our physical bodies. I believe that it the actual act of the spirit (or soul) leaving the body which causes one to die. I believe that it is the spirit or soul, which keeps the body alive.

    What is the spirit? I believe that the words: spirit, soul, mind, and intellect are all interchangeable and that they are all basically the same things. I think that each is a bit different, but that all of them combine to make up the spiritual body which dwells within our physical body.

    I believe that when we die, we die as a result of that spiritual body leaving the physical body.

    As for ghosts, yes they most certainly are real. What are they? I think that they are the spirits of people who died. Why are they still here on Earth after death? Not sure about that one, but I think that there are multiple answers to that question and that there are several reasons why they are still here. I think some of them, simply desire to stay near their loved ones who are still alive. Others may not realize that they have died. Some may not be able to move on because they feel that there was something they did not do while they were alive so they are still trying to do it, but without a physical body they can not. Some may be trying to help someone who is still alive.

    You see, lots of reasons. I think that the spiritual body stays where it is comfortable being: for example:

    A serial killer, now dead, may be terrified that the people he killed will come after him, so he runs back to his house to hide in the closest, and thus you have the answer to a haunted house.

    Likewise, someone who believes in the Rapture or the Second Coming of Christ, may do nothing but sit for centuries on their tombstone waiting for Jesus to blow his trumpet. Thus you have a haunted cemetery.

    Another may have commit suicide by jumping off a bridge, but does not realize they died and so for centuries they do nothing but pace back and forth on the bridge, jumping off of it thousands of times. Thus you have a haunted bridge.

    What about the spirits that did not become ghosts? I believe that they moved on to another plain of existence: not heaven or hell per say, but rather they either moved forward or backwards depending on how they lived their life on Earth.

    If they learned what they needed to learn to move on, than they would have gone forward (or what one would say: they went to Heaven), so that now they can learn the next level of intellect.

    However if we spent to much time goofing off and not learning, than I think we must be *reborn* into this Earth and live life all over again, possibly many times, until we finally learn what we need to learn to move forward.

    Likewise I believe that if we were particularly bad and went around bullying instead of learning (this would include thieves, murderers, hate crimes, just plain mean people, etc. etc.) that instead of moving forward or being reborn, that these people go back a level (thus the term going to Hell). I think that these people have to go back and relive whatever the prior existence to the current one is, because they must learn all over again the things which we had learned before we could reach this level.

    As you can see I do not believe in the theory of a spirit paradise (Heaven) or spirit prison (Hell). I do not think that there is such a thing as *an end*, I think we are continually moving onward and learning things forever. In other words, it's like we are in school, and each life is a different grade level, and we go ahead or fall behind based on what we learn and how quickly we learn it.

13. Are Holidays Holy Days and Which Ones Should I Celebrate?

    I Say: Today's Holidays are Not Holy Days

    When it comes to celebrating holidays, the most common mistake everyone makes -- Christians and non-Christians alike -- is that few people seem to know what a holiday even is!

    So, what is a holiday, anyways? Everyone looks forward to taking a Holiday, right? You do realize of course that while you can take a vacation, it is impossible to take a Holiday. I wonder how many people would look forward to a Holiday after they found out what it really meant. Most of today's unlearned, over-educated, and nonspiritual minds, will tell you that a Holiday is a time to take a vacation from your daily ways of life - a period of rest and relaxation - time away from work or school - a day to party - a type of festival - or other similar but just as wrong definitions. It would seem that the word Holiday has been misused for so long, that very few people today even know what the word means! If you want to take a vacation, than say what you really mean: you want to take a vacation, not a holiday.

    The word holiday is the modern day combining of the two words: Holy Day. But what about Sabbath-isn't that the word that means Holy Day? The words Sabbet, Sabbath, and Saturday are all Hebrew words that translate into English to mean Holy Day.

    So it would seem that all of these words, no matter what you call them, mean the same thing. Holiday, Sabbet, Sabbath, and Saturday all mean Holy Day. Now what is a Holy Day? A Holy Day is self explanatory: it is a day set aside as one that is to be respected as Holy. But do you know what Holy means?

    Holy means: that which is sacred, reverenced, or revered.

    So a Holy Day is a day set aside as a sacred day, a day to be reverent, a day to pray, a day to worship, a day to reflect on what it means to be Holy, a day to act as if you were a Holy being, a day to pay respect to the Creator. Now don't balk and say that this sounds too Christian for you: remember that it was the Christians who copied the ancient Celts/Witches. All Christian Holy Days are merely watered down versions of Pictish/Druid/Celtic/Witches Holy Days.

    Keeping in mind here that Witches were/are very spiritual beings, usually much more spiritual than Christians. Holy Days were very special days, quiet days, restful days, prayerful days.

    Another note here: Don't be fooled by the Hollywood movies that depict the ancient Witches Sabbaths as wild festivals at midnight around huge bonfires, because a festival or celebration is not a Sabbet or Holiday. If you want have a wild celebration, than you want to celebrate a festival, not a Holiday. These two things should never be confused one with the other.

    While Holy Days, Holidays, Sabbaths, and Sabbaths and peaceful, quiet, prayerful days, festivals are times of dancing, partying, celebrating, singing, and making merry: one should never be confused with the other, but sadly they usually are.

    I think that Doctor Franklin said it best:

    `Tis not a Holiday that's not kept holy.

    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    I can't write an over view of what each holiday means, it's history, etc, here, because this lens simply is not big enough for that, so I may write up a lens about Holidays vs Holy Days in the future.

    As for which ones should you celebrate? You can celebrate which ever Holiday or Holy Day tickles your fancy. Me, personally I celebrate Halloween as my biggest Holiday of the year, Christmas coming in as a close second, and Easter coming in third. I basically ignore all other holidays as I have no interest in them what so ever and find them to be a waste of my time.

    And I'm also not going to tell you which holidays you can or can not celebrate - I leave that up to you, for only you and you alone can decide that.

14. Is Faith More Important Than Religion?

    I believe faith is more important than religion.

    Religion is like a business or a company, it's ruled by an owner or leader, and the followers are like employees, that have to do and say and believe all the same things the leader/boss believes otherwise they get booted out.

    There are 15,000 religions in the world, with new ones being started every day, and each religion has it's own set of beliefs which members are required to have/believe, and if you don't have/believe them than you can't go to that religion. Religion is only concerned with ideas and rules and theologies and little rituals (like prayer, communion, etc.) which have supposedly been given to the religion's leader by some invisible God/source, which only the leader can see and hear.

    Religion commands that you obey it or else. Religion is cold and rigid and requires that you bend out of shape in order to fit it's mold. Religion allows no room for personal spiritual growth.

    Religion demands you have faith, meaning that even religion admits that faith is more important.

    Faith is different. Faith or spirituality, is what you believe in. Faith is that which will determine which religion you end up choosing to join, or if you choose to join none at all.

    Faith is you seeking out a higher understanding or deeper knowledge about the unknown. Faith is flexible, and it grows and expands with you as you gain more knowledge and understanding.

    Without faith there could not be religion in the first place, so that alone makes faith more important than religion.

Debunking the Controversies and Alligations

1. I've heard that you claim to be Jesus Christ.

   Yes, I have heard that one too. No idea where that one came from.  I am NOT the reincarnation of Jesus the Christ and I have never made such a claim. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to be Jesus reborn, than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim. Anyone calling me Jesus reborn or saying that I have made such claims, is doing nothing but spreading malicious slander and falsehoods.

2. Some people are saying you are a prophet. Are you a prophet?

   Yes, I have heard that one too. I do have some idea where that one came from. I have dreams. I see plane crashes before they happen. I always have. I live 15 minutes from the Portland Jetport, people claim my dreams are incited by the fact that huge jets fly over head all day and all night. Maybe. But than there was the event that started the "prophet" claims: 

   In August of 2001, I started begging people to stay away from planes. I kept telling them of a dream I had had, of a plane crashing into a building, the building surrounded by yellow cars, thousand of people tured to skeletons. It was horrific. The nightmare repeated itself each night, growing bloodier and more destructive each night. 

   On September 10, 2001 the nightmare had reached levels that caused me to head to the JetPort and tell people there: DON NOT LET THESE PLANES OFF THE GROUNG - IF THESE PLANES LEAVE THE GROUND EVERY ONE WILL DIE! They laughed at me. As I was saying these words, a group of Middle East men entered, wearing red and white turban headwraps - the men I had seen in my dreams. I went hysterical and was forced to leave, called a racist. Seven hours later those same men, got on the planes at the Portland Jetport, took control of those planes, and fly them into the World Trade Center - a buildinf surrounded by yellow taxis cabs.

   They could have have stoped them. Thousands of lives could have been saved. They could have stopped those men from boarding the planes. They could have grounded the planes. They could have done something. But they would not listen to me and they let those men board those planes and than they let those planes leave the ground.

   I spent nearly 30 days, every day, every night, telling every one around here to avoid planes, and a lot of people heard me and thought I was crazy. But than, those same people knowing what I had been saying all month, than seeing the 9-11 attacks on TV, went into hysterics some calling me a witch, some calling me psychic, some calling me prophet, and one calling me demon possessed claiming that I had put a curse on the planes - she claimed I had cast a death spell. She went on to become the woman who would burn my house done in 2006, the women who in 2010 dumped a trash truck full of garbage and 500 wood pallets into the Hollow, the woman who in 2007 killed her dog so I could resurect it (because she believed I was Jesus reborn and wanted to prove it to people), the woman who in 2008 started calling me "The Dog Murderer" because I could not resurect her dog, who built that big web site about me and my contact with Etiole, thus introducing Etiole to the internet, and who in 2010 cut my car in half.  It was because of the 9-11 attacks and my prediction of that attack just hours before it happened, that resulted in my stalker becoming my stalker.

   In 2002, the hysterics over 9-11 and my "involvment" in it, had reached the point that I was reaching death threats, and 2 drive by shootings resulted in local police tracing the harasment and hate crimes back to members of the Mormon church congregation I was attending, and on police orders I was forced to attend a different Mormon church congregation a 2 hour drive away, for my own safety.

   But I will repeat myself: I am NOT the reincarnation of Jesus the Christ and I have never made such a claim. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to be Jesus reborn, than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim.

   And I had a dream about a plane crash before it happened. As people well know I am very sensative to energy around others. I can see and feel emotions, I have to stay awaye from people because their emotions over power me. When a lot of people are about to die all at once, I feel their souls as they prepare to leave the body - THIS is what happened that day. So many thousands of souls were preparing to exist their mortal bodies that I could feel it - and all of those people - some 500+ people were standing just a 15 minute walk from my house as they waited to board those 4 planes.

   I am NOT a prophet and I have never made such a claim. I can not predict or see the future. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to be a prophet, than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim.  I am highly in tune with the energy around me and I can feel a soul seperating from it's body - in otherwords - I can see death - I can tell you you are going to die, but if I tell you that, it is because your soul has already started to leave your body and you will be dead before the day ends, there is no stopping it once it starts. If the body dies but the soul has not left, you can be "saved" - "healed" or "brought back", but you can not reconnect the soul to the body, once the soul is gone, you are dead: forever, because your soul (the REAL you) has moved on to another plain of existance and no longer needs it's physical body. But that does not make me a phophet and so I dislike people calling me one, because I do not prophesy or predict future events.

    

    

3. I heard you were abducted by aliens. What's that all about?

   If you really knew me, really well, you would know just how insane that false accusation is. I have never been adbductted by any one or any thing aliens or otherwise and I have never made such a claim. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to be abducted by aliens, than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim.

   I have been online since 1997. Up until 2008, no one online knew anything about me - than some local creep went and wrote her huge website about me, all full of lies, and next thing I knew it was a media circus, I finally had to create a website to tell people what had really happened to me, because of all the stupid rumors that woman had started about me - I hate her for doing that because I don't like all these people following me around asking me questions - like they think I have the answers to EVERYTHING - and I mean EVERYTHING UGH!

   I just keep to myself, because Etiole had been visting me since I was 3, but by the time I as 8, I understood that the adults did not believe in him and I always got punished when I talked about him visiting me. I always called him a faerie or and angel and I still do. But as I grew up, he still kept coming and over the years he has become my dearest friend and only a few of my cloests friends had ever been told about him, because, I always remembered how adults acted when I talked about him, so 30 years later I still don't talk about him with other adults, because I don't like how upset they get over it.

   So I just go about my business and keep to myself, and Etiole comes and goes from my garden as he always has done, than in 2008, one of my friends tells one of their friends about Etiole, and all of a sudden, after 40 years of no body knowing a thing about him, all of a sudden the whole world knows about him! She went nuts, totally freaked out, and started telling every one she knew that I was talking to demons. She was saying stuff about how I was claiming to be abducted by aliens (I wasn't, I had never heard of aliens and such before, I had to do a Google search to find out what they were). I don't know who the heck she told or what else she did, but I found out about her rumors and lies, through the 20,000 emails I recieved from people asking me about my so-called "alien abductions" or "contact with demons"...I was all, what the heck are you people talking about? I begame a media circus for a few weeks annd I found myself on the front page of local newspapers. Next thing I knew I had people in my yard looking fr Etiole and asking for proof, and Christian gartheing around me to do exorsims on me.

   Well, me I have agoraphobia, and really DO NOT like being around people - I mean - REALLY - I HATE being around people and I have not left my yard and not had face to face contact with people in nearly 30 years. Than suddenly my email inbox is overflowing and people are tramping through my yard and I have no idea what started it, so I'm asking them, over and over again: "How did you find out about Etiole? Who told you about me?" and they all keep telling me about "Jeannie"...it was "Jeannie said this about you" and "Jeannie said that about you.." ... "Jeannie sent me your home adress..." ... "Jeannie told me where you lived..." ... "Jeannie sent me information about you..." :Jeannie emailed me..." I kept asking and the answer was always "Jeannie said"..."Jeannie said"..."Jeannie said"..."Jeannie said"...than finally one day some one wrote down the link to a web site and said "I read about you on Jeannie's web site about you."

   I was like - there's a web site about me? REALLY? WHY? Why would any body write a web site about me? So I look up the web site and than I knew, than I understood, and all I can say is I am shocked, stunned, and flabergasted. BECAUSE i DID NOT KNOW SHE HAD BUILT THE WEBSITE AND i COULdn't understand why all of a sudden so many people knew about Etiole or his contacting me, because I had never told these people about him and none of my online friends knew I was talking to him, either.

   But this Jeannie person, had built an "anti-eelkat" web site and on it she had told what she called "The REAL EelKat" story and started out with, "You people online talk to EelKat, but do you REALLY know her? I do and here's the REAL story..." followed by lots of talk about how I am a Satan worshiper (I'm not) and how I talk to demons (I don't) and how I sacrific animals (I don't) and how I claim to have been abducted by aliens (I never have, didn't even know the term before I read it on her site). The site was huge, and it was filled with all sorts of falsehoods, rumors, lies, and gossip about me, and focused a lot on Etiole and my contact with him.

   I've been online since 1997 and no one online knew my real name, I was always just "EelKat". But there on Jeannie's web site was my real name, my email address, and my home address, and the instrustions to contact me "to see just how really crazy his woman is in real life"....!

   Well, no wonder I had a flood of emails and people coming to my house! No wonder every one was asking me about demons and aliens! Oh my God! What the heck is wrong with this woman? Why did she do that?

   It was through Jeannie (aka my stalker) and her slanderous web site full of lies, that the rumor I was abducted by aliens got started. I have never been adbductted by any one or any thing aliens or otherwise and I have never made such a claim. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to be abducted by aliens, than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim. What they are refering to is my contact with Etiole, a creature I personally refer to as being a type of Faerie, specifically a Far-Darrig (a Red Gnome) and also call my Guardian Angel. Yes, he still visit's me, yes he is the "Laughing Gnome" of Laughing Gnome Hollow, yes he talks to me daily. No I have never claimed he was an alien. All referances to Etiole being an alien, where made by others, not by me. Anyone saying I was abducted by aliens or saying that I have made such claims, is doing nothing but spreading malicious slander and falsehoods.

   Well, like I said, I'm a quiet peaceful, person who keeps to myself and I really don't like having people running all over my yard and asking me all sorts of questions, so I decided, the ony answer was to build a web site to tell what had actually happened to me. So I did, and this is it, and now when Jeannie send people to me asking all sorts of questions, I just hand them the link to my web site and say, everything I had to say about this, I said here, just read that and leave me alone.

4. People say you consort with demons. How do you answer this?

   Please read my anser to the question: I heard you were abducted by aliens. What's that all about? Because I will give you the same answer. Like the alien abduction rumor, the consorting with demons rumor, was started by Jeannie (my stalker) who is deeply mentaly disturbed and suffered from parinoid schizophrenia (check her medical records - she has a 50+ year history of accusing people of being possessed by demons, working for Satan, and plotting to kill her - she has been in and out of hospitals for close to 50 years - and was already saying these same things about other people some 20 years before I was even born. She has a long history of doing this.)

   All of the rumors, controversies, and alligations you are refuring to: every single one of them, can be traced back to having been started by this woman.

   I have never consorted with demons and I have never made such a claim. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to consort with demons , than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim. Anyone say that I consort with demons or saying that I have made such claims, is doing nothing but spreading malicious slander and falsehoods.

5. What's this I hear about animal sacrifics going on at the Hollow?

   Please read my anser to the question: I heard you were abducted by aliens. What's that all about? Because I will give you the same answer. Like the alien abduction rumor and the consorting with demons rumor, the sacrificing animals rumor was started by Jeannie (my stalker) who is deeply mentaly disturbed and suffered from parinoid schizophrenia (check her medical records - she has a 50+ year history of accusing people of killing her dogs, working for Satan, and plotting to kill her - she has been in and out of hospitals for close to 50 years - and was already saying these same things about other people some 20 years before I was even born. She has a long history of doing this.)

   The woman has had 24+ dogs, (at one point she had 8 dogs at once) every single dog has died on it's 7th birthday - found hanging from their leashed in trees, poisoned with rat poison, or as in the case of the most recent dog, Toby the Old English Sheep Dog, beaten with an axe. Every single dog dies on it's 7th birthday. Every single dog dies violently. Every single time a dog dies she violently attacks a local person in the neighborhood accussing them of having killed her dog. The woman has long been suspected by the local PD of killing her dogs and frameing others, but they had no proof of this until 2007.

   Toby, the dog she refers to when accussing me, was killed in October 2007, in front of 5 police officers who have the event on video. The axe is in the evidance closest to this very day, at the OOBPD and her current husband spent 2 weeks in jail for the murder of her dog. She and her husband were seen on their lawn beating Toby with an axe, 3 different neighbors called the Old Orchard Beach Police. Knowing this woman's extremely violent history, 5 police cars arrive, 2 parking here at Laughing Gnome Hollow, one officer took the dog from them and brought her to me at the Hollow, which is why I had the dog during the 2 weeks that followed. The woman seeing the police arrive, stopped beating the dog and ran to the police claiming it was all her husband only, he was still beating Toby with an axe when police arrived and police have this on video tape. The man was arrested on the spot and did two weeks in jail for animal abuse. I had Toby in my care during those 2 weeks. Her husbad had 7 cats at the time, 5 of them were poisoned to death while he was locked in jail, his daughter and his father took their step-mother/daughter-in-law to court for the murder of the 5 cats. The woman took Toby back the same day her husband was released from jail. Toby died 3 days later.

   Than, 8 months after Toby's death, the woman arrived with Toby, now a gelital blob of blackish green slime, fur, and bones, and began demanding I resurect the dog. Because I refused, she retaliated by building her web site about me, the web site on which started the rumors of animal sacrifices, alien abductions, and demon possession.

   All of the rumors, controversies, and alligations you are refuring to: every single one of them, can be traced back to having been started by this woman.

   I run an animal shelter, The Pidgie Fund, or I did, before it was burned down by this woman. I am a vegan. In the 1970's I was the little girl who wrote the letter to Proctor & Gamble which would result in the Proctor and Gamble Boycotte, and is the reason I am internationally famous: famous for being one of the most head strong, outspoken, extremist animal rights activists in history.

   I have never sacrified animals and I have never made such a claim. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to sacrific animals , than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim. Anyone saying that I hurt animals in any way shape or form or saying that I have made such claims, is doing nothing but spreading malicious slander and falsehoods.

6. Some people say you are a Satan worshiping Anti-Mormon. Other people say you are a Satan worshiping Mormon. The Salt Lake Headquarters of the Mormon Church calles you The Great Apostate. There is talk amound some Mormons saying you are The Anti-Christ. Wh

   Some people say you are a Satan worshiping Anti-Mormon. Other people say you are a Satan worshiping Mormon. The Salt Lake Headquarters of the Mormon Church calles you The Great Apostate. There is talk amound some Mormons saying you are The Anti-Christ.

   What is true? Seriously? I mean, you REALLY have to ask that question? Like it was possible for any of the above to actually be true? LOL! I am rolling on the floor laughing my ass off over that one! LOL! Oh, pleeeease!

   Well for starters to be a Satan worshiper, one has to belong to The Church of Satan, which I'm not and never have been (yes, there is such a church and it's headquarters are in California).

   Secondly, to be a Satan worshiper requires you actually BELIEVE in Satan to begin with, which I don't.

   Thirdly an Anti-Mormon is some one who preaches, prints up, and hands out literature against Joesph Smith and the Book of Mormon, and any one who knows me personally, knows I'm an avid follower of the ORIGINAL teachings of Joseph Smith, the stuff he taugh while he was still alive (and yes it is VERY different from the stuff being taught in the Mormon church today).

   An Apostate is one who denouces the teachings of Jesus, which as Eeekites all well know, I don't. Eeekites are what a group of followers call themselves (followers of EelKat - me). They wear T-shirts that say "W.W.EK.Do?" on them, because I end most of my sermons with "What would Jesus do?" followed by my saying EXACTLY what Jesus DID do. Most of the locals know me as "that Jesus Freak" or "the Super Christian". I not only am not denounceing Jesus, I can't stop promoting him! LOL!

   The Anti-Christ is person, whom it is said will be born shortly before The Second Coming of Christ and be 33 years old at the time of the Second Coming, and both Christ and the Anti-Christ will be on the earth TOGETHER. Christ will be gathering up his army of believers and The Anti-Christ will be gathering up his army of non-believers and Christ anf Anti-Christ will send each others armyies into The Battle of Armogedon.

   *Stops* 

   *Looks around*

   ~ I don't see any armies following me arond. Do you?

   *Stops*

   *Looks around again*

   ~  Come to think of it, I was 33 years old a few years back a while, I'm quite a bit older than that today and I don't see Jesus walking around here either. Guess I can't be The Anti-Christ now can I?

   Please read my answer to the question: I heard you were abducted by aliens. What's that all about? Because I will give you the same answer. Like the alien abduction rumor, the consorting with demons rumor, and all the other weird freaky rumors going around about me, the  Satan-worshiping Anti-Christ rumors were started by Jeannie (my stalker) who is deeply mentaly disturbed and suffered from parinoid schizophrenia (check her medical records - she has a 50+ year history of accusing people of being possessed by demons, working for Satan, and plotting to kill her - she has been in and out of hospitals for close to 50 years - and was already saying these same things about other people some 20 years before I was even born. She has a long history of doing this.) And yes, she even went so far as to write letters to several Mormon Bishops, Stake Presidents, Apostals, and even the Prophet himself, spreading her nasty false rumors about me far and wide, and yes, because the Church leaders read her letters, yet neglected to actually come and meet with me to find out the facts, yes, the LDS Church does have me listed as "a high secruity threat against the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints" (I have letters from Salt Lake Headquarters telling me this) and they do consider me, in the words of my local Bishop: "to be the Great Apostate who was fortold, who would rise up in the last day to take on the LDS Church". An accusation that they based solely on false testamony from Jeannie.

   All of the rumors, controversies, and alligations you are refuring to: every single one of them, can be traced back to having been started by this woman.

   I have never consorted with or worshiped Satan and I have never made such a claim. If somebody is telling you that I claimed to consort with demons , than know that they are lying to you, because I have never made any such claim. Anyone say that I consort with or woship Satan or is saying that I have made such claims, is doing nothing but spreading malicious slander and falsehoods.

God & Jesus

1. Is there a God? Do you believe in God? Who is God?

   Do I believe in God? ~ Yes

   I believe we were created by a supernatural being or rather a pair of beings. Yes I believe in an "all powerful male" God, but I also believe that he has a wife. I believe we have both a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother.

   I also believe that by all definitions they are aliens. They live in the heavens. Where are the heavens? The visit us in beams of light and flying chariots. And how do aliens visit us? Mary was made pregnant by a being in a beam of light, who flew out the roof, and than she gave birth to a baby that was only half human. Can any one say alien-hybrid breeding program?

   Keep in mind I was raised Mormon and they teach that God lives on a planet named Kolob. Don't believe me? Google the word Kolob and see what you get.

   But than again, I believe we are all children of spiritual parents not of this earth, which than makes us all aliens anyways.

   I know, it's hard for most people to wrap their minds around my sense of logic.

   And guess what? God by any other name (the creator, the big bang, the great spirit, the light, the pleasians, the force, mother earth, father time, brother wind, sister moon, cousin it, mars, zeus, venus, etc) is still God! So may the Force be with you!

   I believe there is a "God", but I'm not certain that the "God of Abraham" is entirely correct with the "Real God". I mean just look at the teachings of the God of Abraham, I mean, he may have taught the 10 Commandment but he sure as hell did not practice what he preached: promotes murder, death and violence. Hates women, thinks nothing of children, esp if they are female, glorifies in the slaughter of animals! WTH? THAT God, the God of the Old Testament IS NOT the God I believe in!

   I believe that God (the Real God, not the Bible's fairy tale version) is a kind and loving Great Spirit or Creator, the way many Native American religions teach.

   But yes, I do believe there is a God.

   Thought of the day:  Is it better to accept no god as a "real" god, because regardless how godlike it claims to be, they all have the same problem of hiding invisibly inside the head of a human, speaking only through the head of one individual instead of just appearing in the sky and speaking to every one at once as any "real" god could and would?

2. God the Alien King of Kolob... Uhm... God... aliens... Mormons.... What's up with God living on some planet?

   For those who can't understand where I a Mormon, came to believe God was an alien - it IS in fact what the LDS Church teacher. Here's some info about it for you:  God and Man in Mormon Theology

   and here is the comment I left for him:

   I am a Mormon - or for the moment at least - the Church Leaders are currently in attempt at excommunicating me, which is why I felt I should comment here.

   You see, I've been a Mormon 34 years, and as you've noted, the Prophets change the rules often - VERY often - about every ten years we see big changes.

   Years ago, the teaching that God was an "extraterrestrial" or "celestial" being from another planet, was widely preached. In youth classes (ages 4 to we were told this weekly. It was preached and glorified, and well, we kids sort of grew up looking at the rest of the world (the non-Mormons) as being lower than us because, as many of us children would agree "THEY were only HUMANS" and well, we MORMONS didn't associate with mere HUMANS.

   ah! Now we were just kids and only repeating what our parents and teachers and church leaders were telling us, so, we didn't really know any better, but not one of us grew up believing that we ourselves were "Human".

   Today, as you mentioned, members, teachers, and leaders rarely ever mention “God the Alien King of Kolob”. New converts often leave the Church when they hear us “old timers” mention it - leave the church while calling us a “UFO Cult”.

   In 2007 The Church underwent yet another of it’s big changes - the Book of Mormon was rewritten, ALL Bishops in ALL wards (congregations) worldwide were removed and replaced, and there is a strange new “breed” of Bishop’s going around “cleaning up” the church, by excommunicating the old long time members like myself. Excommunicating us because - well - we still call God an Alien, just like the Church taught us to do 30+ years ago.

   I am interesting in seeing if church leaders will soon remove all reference to Kolob.

3. What Does God Taste Like? ... ??? ...???!?!?!

   This has to win first place for the all time wierdest question I have ever heard, but someone actually asked on a forum: What does god taste like?

   ???

   WTH?

   ?!?!

   Here's the story of how the question got asked.

   It started out with this question being asked on a forum: Poll Question: Do you believe in God?, and one answer lead to another until a debate started about how you can prove milk is real, but you can't prove god is real. This finally lead to this comment being made:

   The difference is, you can actually touch, taste, feel and see milk. You don't see, touch, taste and feel God

   To which the following comment asked: What does god taste like?

   LOL!

   Well, the going theory at the moment is that god tastes like peanut butter!

   ROTFLMAO!

   But wow! What does god *TASTE* like?!?! What a weird question! Though certainly one I find intregeing. I don't know why, but for some odd reason the first thing I thought of was pink cotton candy! LOL!

4. Who Was Jesus? A prophet? The Son of God? God made man? The Messiah? A Savior to mankind? A regular guy who was vastly misunderstood? A mystic? A myth?

   A regular guy who was vastly misunderstood.

   Do I believe in Jesus? ~ Yes

   I believe that Jesus was the son of God. He was not God made man. He only "seemed" like a God because he had the same supernatural powers his alien father from the heavens had. Jesus and God are not the same person.

   And as I mentioned above, I believe us to all be children of God, and Jesus was our brother, as we are all brothers and sisters of each other.

   As for the various versions of Jesus written through out history? I'll repeat what I said above: There is one scroll from India, which mentions Issua and his wife Mary the Beloved, and talks about how Issua, after escaping from a crucifixion in Rome, he and his wife went across India preaching love and forgiveness, and showed people the holes in his hands, saying his Jewish bothers in Rome did this to him, but that he had forgiven them, as we all must learn to forgive. He was a Buddhist monk whom had come to India from Egypt.

   The scroll of Issua was written by Issua's son. It is a very controversial scroll, in that it is believed by scholars to be the ONLY AUTHENTIC scroll of the life of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdelene. The Catholic Church has a long history of excommunicating any one caught reading the Scroll of Issua and there is no Christian religion that will accept the scroll, because is tells a markedly different story - the story not of the Son of God, but rather the story of a man who with the help of his wife and children preached love and forgiveness for their Roman brothers.

   I believe the story of the Buddhist monk whom had come to India from Egypt, and whom, with the help of his wife and children preached love and forgiveness for their Roman brothers, is the most historically correct version of who the real man called Jesus was. Our brother, our teacher, and a son of God, just as each of us our also sons and daughters of God.

5. You put a new spin on every thing about Jesus. Why did Jesus wash His disciples feet?

   If you were expecting some nice sweet lovey dovey answer about helping others, forget it. This answer is coming from some one who lives on a beach and only wears shoes in places (stores) which say I must put shoes on. I wear sandles year round, yes, even in winter when we get 4 feet of snow. I know what it is like to walk for hours in sand wearing sandles...day after day after day after day after day, just like Jesus did.

   Yes. Jesus wore sandles and walked in sand all day long. Have you ever tried doing that? Try it. Live dangerously. After a few hours of steady none stop sand walking, you will have filthy, dirty, grimy, smelly feet.

   Think about it: 13 men walk into a tiny dinning room, with their filthy, dirty, grimy, smelly feet, kick off their sandles and get ready to eat. They were fishermen, they did not notice the smell.

   And than there was Jesus, a dyer of cloth (nope, Jesus WAS NOT a capenter - go ahead, look it up, actually READ your Bible for a change, Jesus was the SON of a carpenter). Jesus had a plushy lush job with his lily white hands delicatly dying purple cloth (which was made out of squashed sea slugs by the way...yeah...read up on how they dyed purple cloth in Jesus day - put the cloth in a vat of purple sea slugs and started mashing them into the cloth - THAT was Jesus job when he wasn't preaching.)

   Okay so you've got 12 rowdy lewd, vulgar, burping, farting, belching, wine guzzleing fisherman, and one dainty, well mannered, refined, dignified, (and most likely homosexual) wine sipping cloth maker.

   I cam just see Jesus sitting their trying to eat his meal, while trying not to gag on the stench, and you want to know why he suddenly jumped up from the table and started pouring water on the other men in the room and scrubbing them down? I mean, come on! The guy knew the Romans were about to exicute him, he wanted to eat his last meal and be able to enjoy the taste of it with out the foods aroma being drowned out by the smell of sticking fishermen.

   Puts a new spin of the Last Super when you look at it from a historical perspective.

6. Did you just call Jesus gay?

   Wether or not he was gay, I don't think could be determined. HOWEVER, if Jesus was to walk into a Christian church TODAY, EXACTLY as he was portrayed in the Bible, would the church members even let him in the door?

   Was Jesus gay? Let's look at the facts:

   Fact #1) Long haired guy wearing a dress.

   Fact #2) Son of a 13 year old professional temple whore. (The New Testament Apocrypha tells us this if you have a Bible old enough to still have these books in it - my Bible has been passed down in my family for CENTURIES, contains both the Old & New Testament Apocryphas and pre-dates the KJV)

   Fact #3) At 30 years old instead of looking for a wife he heads out to the docks to wave down the fishermen. (In a time/culture when men were REQUIRED to be married.)

   Fact #4) He was a dyer of cloth. (A woman's job.)

   Fact #5) He ONLY dyed cloth purple.

   Fact #6) Jesus wore purple. (The color reserved ONLY for kings and whores.)

   Fact #7) Jesus wore purple dresses he not only made himself, he made the cloth too.

   Conclusion, regardless of how those things fit into the culture of Jesus time, if Jesus was alive TODAY people would say he was more gay than Liberace.

   Of course than you'd have to ask: Was Liberace gay? He maintained he whole life, even right on his death bed, that he was not and never had been, AND it was a known fact that the illness he died from, he had had since he was just 9 years old, and he had been hospitallized many times through out his childhood, teen years, and career and nearly died from it on many occasions, until he finally did die from it at age 67...and though RUMORS said he died from AIDS, the medical report was inconclusive and said only that he had "symptoms similar to those found in the virus which causes AIDS".

   And here's one more bit to chew on:

   Liberace was daily in the company of tens of thousands of women.

   Jesus was daily in the company of thousands of men.

   And than there was Jesus, a dyer of cloth (a woman's job) (nope, Jesus WAS NOT a capenter - go ahead, look it up, actually READ your Bible for a change, Jesus was the SON of a carpenter). Jesus had a plushy lush job with his lily white hands delicatly dying purple cloth (which was made out of squashed sea slugs by the way...yeah...read up on how they dyed purple cloth in Jesus day - put the cloth in a vat of purple sea slugs and started mashing them into the cloth - THAT was Jesus job when he wasn't preaching.)

   In other words - given the evidence, the odds that Jesus was gay are much more likely than the odds that Liberace was gay.

   The things he did may not have branded him as gay in his time, but were he to be the same today as he was than, our culture would be screaming "gay" at him, regardless of wether he was or not.

   More to think about:

   My dad has a beard - he's been kicked out of church for refusing to shave it.

   My brother has long hair - he's been kicked out of 3 churched for refusing to cut it.

   My best friend wears a dress - he's been kicked out of dozens of churches for refusing to wear pants.

   My brother often wears purple - he was kicked out of a church for "wearing colors in support of gay rights".

   Than I look at the picture of Jesus hanging on the walls of these very churches.

   Jesus had a beard - if Jesus came to church today, he would be kicked out.

   Jesus had long hair - if Jesus came to church today, he would be kicked out.

   Jesus wore a dress - if Jesus came to church today, he would be kicked out.

   Jesus wore purple - if Jesus came to church today, he would be kicked out.

   So when I see the question: "Was Jesus gay?" I don't look at it and try to decide if he was or was ot. I look at it and try to decide, if Jesus walked into YOUR church next Sunday, EXACTLY the same way he is presented as looking, would he be PERCEIVED as gay, by the members, based solely on his outward appearances??

   Something to think about.

7. So according to you, Jesus was more gay than Liberace. And you wonder why there are Christians who want to see you tarred and feathered?

   Hey, you can't always judge a book by it's cover. People have glorified Jesus so much for so many centuries that they forget to look at the history of the culture he was living in. Take Jesus out of the Bible, just as he is presented in the Bible, and throw him into the Jewish culture of actual Roman history and what have you got? A radical homosexual rabbi.

   I mean you can bitch and scream and moan all you want but that doesn't change the facts, and the facts prove that Jesus, the REAL Jesus was vastly different than how the average Christian views him.

   And now you know why people call me "The Outlaw Preacher".   

Scriptures

1. The Bible: Word of God or Just Another Book?

   Were the Bible the word of God it would have no mistakes in it. There would be no contradictions. If it was the word of God uncorrupted, than God would not say "Thou shalt not kill" in one chapter, and than command: "Kill that guy" in the the next chapter. If it was fact not fiction, that Jesus would not have died in four very different ways, and the chapters about the resurrection would not have been added in 400AD after the Roman invasion of the Picts (Wiccas), they would have been written at the same time as the rest of the New Testament.

   Was it inspired by God? Yes, I think it was to some extent inspired by a Heavenly Being. However, because it was written down by the hands of man, and not the hands of God himself, I also believe that it is full of huge mistakes and inaccuracies due to the personal interpretations made by the men who wrote it.

   I believe the Bible to be not a history of God, but rather a history of one culture's interpretation of who God is.

   I do think it is important that everyone read it, however, I think it should be read with a grain of salt and looked upon as a book written to record the history of a race of highly superstitious people, rather than a book which quotes God's word.

   So I Say: It's A History Book Badly Translated

   But than let's look at history...

   Some one asked me the other day, the date the New Testament was written, I being the only person they knew whom had ever studied Church History...I had to look it up, because I could not remember the exact (and alarming to most Christians) dates of when the New Testament WAS COMMISSIONED to be written...here is the info you were looking for:

   The Christian religion was based upon a letter written by Ignatius of Antioch in 107AD (there is no record of the existence of Christians prior to 107AD - that's 107 years AFTER Jesus).

   Christianity or the Church of Christ was founded and legalized in 313.

   Christianity was declared the religion of the Roman Empire in 380 and the name changed from Christian to Catholic.

   And HERE IT IS, the answer to your question, "In what year was the New Testament written?"... The Council of Rome, held in 382, put out a request for scholars TO WRITE on ORDERS OF ROME what we now call "The New Testament".

   NONE of the writers of the New Testament ever meet Jesus, in spite of the fact that the New Testament is written in first person, from the point of views of his followers. The New Testament has been proven to be a work of Historical Fiction, in other words, a novel, commissioned by Rome.

   And it gets worse: In the original version, there was NO NATIVITY STORY and NO RESURRECTION STORY and NO VIRGIN MARY.

   The Book of Luke and the last half of the Book of Matthew were written during the lifetime of Saint Patrick and were a result of the invasion of the Celts of Ireland in around 440.

   There are only 2 mentions of Jesus in historical documents, both citing him as the younger brother of a famous Jewish Rabbi, a total of 2 sentences, listed in family tree.

   some of the Celtic era scrolls exist, the ones written in 400s...but most Christian churches teach these are COPIES because they are TOO NEW to be the originals, when Roman history, states that these are in fact the ORIGINALS and there were none prior.

   It is the equivalent of me, today, 300 years after his death, writing "The Gospel of Benjamin Franklin" in his own words and saying that I found it in a cave behind my house.

   To understand the Virgin Mary and the Resurrection and why they were added, you have to look to the Druids and the celebration of Baby New Year, who is born to the Virgin Mother Earth and at the end of each year dies and is born again. (I'm paraphrasing the Celtic version, for the sake of space, but it's easy to Google the info if you want to know more.). The Roman Catholics, specifically St Patrick, in their desire to convert the Celts to Christianity, INVENTED a Christian version of the Celts Virgin Goddess mother of the resurrected son story.

   There is one scroll from India, which mentions Issua and his wife Mary the Beloved, and talks about how Issua, after escaping from a crucifixion in Rome, he and his wife went across India preaching love and forgiveness, and showed people the holes in his hands, saying his Jewish bothers in Rome did this to him, but that he had forgiven them, as we all must learn to forgive. He was a Buddhist monk whom had come to India from Egypt.

   The scroll of Issua was written by Issua's son. It is a very controversial scroll, in that it is believed by scholars to be the ONLY AUTHENTIC scroll of the life of Jesus Christ and Mary Magdelene. The Catholic Church has a long history of excommunicating any one caught reading the Scroll of Issua and there is no Christian religion that will accept the scroll, because is tells a markedly different story - the story not of the Son of God, but rather the story of a man who with the help of his wife and children preached love and forgiveness for their Roman brothers.

   Do I believe in Bible? ~ Yes

   And every other Holy Text or Scripture as well, including Hebrew, Egyptian, Persian, Muslim, Greek, Roman, Chinese, Japanese, Native American, the 700 "Lost Books" of the Bible, the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Gnostic Gospels, Wiccan, and pretty much any and every other so-called Holy Book, ever written and used by any religion, though I use predominantly just the New Testament and The Book of Mormon in my actual sermons.

   I believe in studying ALL scriptures regardless of which religion is using it. I believe all scriptures of all faiths should be read by all people, because when God speaks to some one it should be for EVERY ONE not just for one religion.

   I tell people to study the scriptures, and to study, not any specific scripture, but to study the one which they feel most drawn to at that moment of their life, because it is the one you need to read at that time. Each Holy Text has something for every one to learn. And learning is good.

   HOWEVER, scripture study is I feel a personal matter, and thus when it comes to actual sermons, and sermon writing (which I do a lot of, I write more sermons than I will ever have time to preach! - I plan to publish them so that other ministers will be able to use them in their own ministries.)...but I believe above scripture study, comes The Power of Positive Thinking and as such I prefer to do guided affirmation meditation sessions over actual traditional sermon preaching sessions.

   My feeling on the matter is, that sermons teach us good things, while guided affirmation meditation sessions, help us to build positive energy in our personal auras, which than enlightens us and helps us to spread love and joy to the lives of those around us.

   As you could probably guess, I also prefer joyful, rejoicing, happy sermons over doomsday and hellfire sermons, though I have been know to preach both.

    

2. Is the Book of Mormon True or False? Is The Book of Mormon Another Testament of Christ?

   I'm on my 15th reading of it right now - I say true; of course I am a Mormon, have been for 34 years and my family has been with the church since the 1800's, so, that may have influenced my way of thinking a bit

   I am currently in the process of being excommunicated over a book I wrote, which has caused waves in some Mormon communities the past few months. I'm being told it is a work of apostasy. Why? Because it is my autobiography, and I was a child of abuse at the hands of one of the Bishops, and I did not neglect to include that part of my life. So they are saying I'm against the church - nope just that one bishop, and one bishop does not make up the entire church. And so I am no longer allowed to attend church service and am being excommunicated. oh well. That has not changed my faith in the Book of Mormon, and even after the excommunication is final, I will still call myself a Mormon.

   (I've been on a religious chatroom today - that's why I am getting asked these sorts of questions this morning.)

   Is the Book of Mormon true or false? The answer to this question, I believe is very important. So what is the answer? True or false? What do I say?

   s for me? Well, it's a book I've read 14 times now, and am on my 15th reading of it right now, and while I agree with some of the skeptics about some of the "inconsistencies" (for example the references to elephants caused a major debate online a few years back, between several historians, who pointed out that there were no elephants in North America at the time, however, in the 1830's Wooly Mammoths were still being called elephants, and well, yeah, they were all over North America in Book of Mormon times, so - hey, there's your elephants!). But anyways, it's pretty hard to be in a family that lead the way to Utah and not have a pretty strong belief in the Book of Mormon, it's not like it was ever an option for our family --- ever heard of the Atwater Trail? Yeah, I'm an Atwater, making me one of the rare few 21st century Mormons who's family has been with the Church right since the very beginning, the very, very, very beginning, all the way back to Saco, Maine and the Saco River Curse of 1644 beginning of the Smith family way back before New York, before Vermont, all the way back to when the Smith family lived here on York Hill in Saco Maine, where, huh, I still live today , same exact plot of land even - way before J Smith was even born. Our families his and mine, go back farther than the founding of the Church itself or the finding of the Gold Plate. Connected strangely by a creature of debatable origin who has a reoccurring history with both of our families.

   Though more recent history, namely the White Salamander Hoax Letters, has resulted in the modern day church's removal of all prior references to the White Salamander and his countless contacts with many Mormon families, included Joseph Smith's contact with him during his very young childhood, that doesn't change the fact that, without my own contact with the strange white skinned creature of York Hill, Saco, Maine, I would not believe in the Book of Mormon, seeing how it was this creature that lead me to read it in the first place.

   Funny, how, things happen, my devoted belief in this book, came from a message given to me by a creature, who the local church leaders call a demon and threaten to excommunicate me if I do not cease contact with a creature that, in fact claims to be the same creature who lead Smith to the plate so many years ago. I think it strange, that the local bishops speak so wildly and heatedly over the fact that they do not believe in the existence of the creature that Joseph Smith himself claimed to have talked to on countless occasions during his early childhood, a creature whom he last saw at age 12, the very same creature that sent him to the place where Smith would than meet Moroni. Why this story was removed from the church history in the late 1970's is beyond me. Today you have to find copies of books printed in the mid-1800's to find and printed reference to these events at all. Weird. In any case, I am told (by multiple bishops and several high priests) that no one in their right mind would believe the older stories of Joesph Smith, and that all stories he told prior to his encounter with Moroni are not to be believed, and that there is no such thing as a White Salamander. I'll be sure to pass that message to him next time I see him, seeing how I happen to live on the land he haunts.

   Strange, how the thing I'm told not to believe in, is in fact the thing that lead me to believe the Book of Mormon was true. Of course, I was telling every one about the White Salamander since I was 4 years old too, and it wasn't until I was 27 years old, that I found out about Joesph Smith's contact with him, or the White Salamander Hoax Letters. Once I found out about the hoax letters, than it made sense to me, why for the 20 years prior, I had to deal with all the hate filled accusations of being an apostate and threats to excommunicate me. I realize now that they in their superstition and one track minded ways, assumed that when I told them about Etiole, that I must have known about the hoax letters. Oh well. At least now I know what the bishops are so pissed off about when they lecture me about my contact with Etiole.

   Odd though - if they can ever provide actual proof that Joesph Smith DID NOT see he White Salamander, they would in fact, provide proof to me that the Book of Mormon is NOT true, for in all my life, and in all my searching, trying to find another person who has had an encounter like mine, I have to date only found 2 other people who have encountered a creature like Etiole, and Joesph Smith is one of those two. And that is how I came to believe the Book of Mormon is true, because after searching through some 14,000 encounters with ghosts, aliens, faeries, angels, ect, Joesph Smith is the only person who ever had an encounter that even remotely came anything close to being like my encounter with Etiole.

   I am the Church's modern day "heretic apostate member" (as so many bishops have called me) who goes ever onward continuing relentlessly in the promotion of the church that seeks to excommunicate me.

    

    

3. You are like a walking Bible encyclopidia. How many times have you read the Bible?

   It takes me 3 months to read the Bible cover to cover. When I get done, I start over again. I have done this since I was 9 years old. 4 times a year, every single word of every single page, every single year. As of right now I have read the Bible cover to cover 31 times.

   I think it might be worth pointing out that I am using a Bible that is over 200 years old and belonged to my great-great grand mother - the ame great-great grand mother who owned the rose bush which I still tend to this day, here at Laughing Gnome Hollow. In addition to having an Apocrypha in it, it also contains several New Testament books not currently in the standard publications. I have no idea what translation it is. It was printed in around 1718, I think?

   It is a monstrous thing. I have never seen another Bible like it. The pages are all hand painted. It must weigh fifty pounds. It has been passed down through her family for centuries. My none Indian (Native American) decendants came from Scotland. I think they brought the Bible with them. It is a church Bible obviously. Meant to be on display not read. It is possably the translation which was used to create the King James Version.

    

Thoughts on Religion in General

1. Why Are There So Many Religions?

   Because People are Never Happy.

   The world has more than 15,000 religions, with new ones being created every day. That's an odd thought when you stop and think about, it really. I mean, 15,000! And think about this: the top religions on that list, have church buildings in nearly every city, in every state, in the USA. Now that's a lot of churches! I just opened the phone book and looked up Biddeford, Maine, and do you know what I found? There are well over 350 church buildings in this one town alone! WOW! Where are they all? I don't remember seeing that many. Well, I can see 5 steeples from my bedroom window, so I guess, maybe there could be over 350 churches in Biddeford.

   It does make you stop and think about it though: Why ARE there so many churches out there? And why, so many different religions? If there were not so many religions there would not be so many churches, right?

   I think that it is a sign that the general population is not happy. They feel a need, and thus they seek a cure for that need. Some seek out the bottle, others seek out drugs, but a lot of people seek out religion. They seek out religion because they feel that religion has *the answers*. They problem comes when they feel they have learned everything that they can learn from that religion, so they move on to the next religion, and than the next one and the next one, and than suddenly it hits them: NONE of the religions have *the answer* so they start their own religion as a means to seek *the answer*. Today so many people have done this, that now their are 15,000+ religions in the world all seeking *the answer* and none of them giving any *answers* so more people will continue to start more religions. It's a never ending circle.

2. Is Having No Religion Best of All?

   I believe that for some people religion is very important and they need it in order to survive in this world. They need something not of this world to look up to, to hope for, and to be inspired by. Religion can be a good thing.

   I also believe that religion is not for everyone. While some people need the comfort of the embracing arms of a religion, other are quickly crowed and choked to death by religion's strangling grasp. For these people religion may have been good once, but it has become a burden that prevents them from moving forward in life. For these people it is better to break free of religion and stand on their own for a while.

   I see religion not as and end, but rather as a means to an end. It's like when you break your leg, and you need a crutch to lean on. The crutch does nothing to cure or heal your leg, but it stands straight and allows you to use it until you can walk on your own again. Religion is that crutch. Religion is the thing that you lean on until you can go through life free from the crutch.

3. Are Religious Folks Healthier Than None Religious Folks?

   I Say: Most Certainly, Yes!

   Are religious/spiritual people healthier than non-religious or non-spiritual people? I say yes, however, I do not feel that religion has anything to do with it per say. Rather I believe that being religious effects how one lives their life, being religious effects lifestyle decisions, which in turn effects their health. I'll explain:

   Very, very religious/spiritual people are more likely to live in the country, on a farm, in the mountains, in the forest, or in some other such region where they can *live off the land*. The most common reason why a person choses to live off the land, is because they are following a religious conviction of some sort. Now granted that's not the only reason and not every one who lives off the land has this reason at all, but it is however the most common reason.

   In other words, a religious person is more likely to be living in a place where they can grow a garden, eat more fresh food, and sweat off all the extra weight via the act of gardening. One hour in the garden pulling weeds, hoeing rows, planting seeds, or harvesting fruits will do far more good than 3 hours in the gym. All in all this makes for a healthier individual.

   Another thing to note, is that living in the country also means that you live 30 or 40 miles from the nearest McDonald's, meaning this person is highly unlikely to be eating very much *fast food*. And another thing, if you live off the grid, the nearest WalMart could be a 2 or 3 hours drive from your home, while the nearest mall could be 7 or 8 towns away. More factors that make for a healthier person.

   If you are like myself, than not only have you started growing a garden, but you raise livestock as well. A country living person, who is bother a gardener and a farmer, is not only healthier, but also a hellova lot stronger as well.

   Take me, for example, people who do not know me and see me for the first time, see only a petite little woman, whom they assume to be every bit a weak and frail as any other woman my size. Nothing could be farther from the truth however, because fact is, I'm not only stronger than other women my size, I am stronger than men who are bigger than me.

   What the people see in public is far different than what they see of me at home. Were they to follow me home they would see a woman who carries 50lb bags of grain one at a time from the feed store across the parking lot and into the car. Once home, I than toss each of those 50lbs over my should and now carry them one handed 200 yards across the rocky ledge terrain that separates our drive way from our barn. It takes a good half hour to do, and I do this multiple times each and every single week.

   A friend of mine, a man who stand a good 4" taller than me, is unable to make the trip just once, and has to stop and set the grain bag down half way there. Others have tried this feat, and none have succeeded, all eventually resorted to using a wheelbarrow instead. Interesting.

   A few years back I had a 68lb dog (Bisquit) who needed to go to the vet, I simply picked her up and carried her.

   As a result of my being a farmer, I can lift a 75lb weight over my head. (My brother lifts weights.) So far 75lbs is my limit.

   How big am I? 5'6" and 138lbs. I can lift more than half my own weight with no problem, and that is something that the average person can not do.

   Do I attribute this to religion? Yes. I do. And I will explain this to you. You see, I grew up in the Mormon church in the 1970's when, if you were a Mormon you lived on a farm and was 100% self sufficient, otherwise you had no right to call yourself a Mormon. Granted the Mormon church has changed a lot in the since the 1970's and today it's barely a shadow of what it was than. Today it's not unusual to find city folks, public school children, and people who have never heard the words *self sufficient* before, but when I was growing up, these kind of things were not allowed in the Mormon church. The church today no longer preaches *self sufficiency or else*, so people today do not realize how strict the church was just a few years ago.

   My growing up Mormon not only made me a self sufficient farmer, gardener, sewer, home preserver, cooker, and baker but it also did something else as well. Being a Mormon made me healthier than the average non-Mormon because I have never once drunk coffee, smoker cigarettes, used drugs (not even prescription ones), drank alcohol, or had sex. I attribute my extreme good health and unusual strength not only to farming, but also to be a direct result of my abstinence from these five things.

   In addition to my being raised Mormon, I was also taught the ways of the Seventh Day Adventist. Though I never joined their church, I did follow their laws of abstinence which are the same as those of the Mormon church, plus abstinence from eating meat and abstinence from violence towards all creatures. The result of which I am also a vegetarian and animal right activist and anti-war peace activist. In addition to the things already mentioned I also attribute my health to my abstinence from meat and from any non-peaceful actions towards all life forms.

   So, in my early years the Mormon lifestyle set me on the road to good health.

   In my teen years the SDA lifestyle acted to farther enhance the Mormon lifestyle.

   In my young adult years I left the Mormon church and set out to studying other religions. I doubt if there is a religion I missed. I studied them all, both Christian and non-Christian. And while, to this day I still belong to no religion, I did find four that stood out and acted to farther enhance my lifestyle even more. They were: Buddhism, Taoism, Voodun (Voodoo), and Pictish (Olde Style Wicca). (All considered by Christians to be *Pagan* religions.) From these four faiths I added the following to my lifestyle:

   meditation (and yoga)

   herbology

   attuning myself to the life force of nature

   the art of the (Japanese) tea ceremony

   the Asian diet

   doing only those things which make me happy

   comfort over fashion

   Of these things it was *comfort over fashion* that has stood out the most, and set me apart from others.

   In 1997, the same year I joined the internet, I also got rid of my entire wardrobe. I did away with every piece of restrictive and uncomfortable clothen. This included: high heel shoes, bras, pants, mini skirts, straight skirts, tight shirts, and everything made out of stiff, scratchy, or otherwise uncomfortable material.

   My new wardrobe now consisted of long lose fitting and flowing robes, mumus, capes, hakama, and kimono. Shoes are soft, and soleless and like walking on air... heaven is a comfortable shoe! All fabric now made of cotton, velvet, or silk... light weight breathable, warm in winter, cool in summer.

   No longer do I worry about being in fashion, or in season, as my wardrobe can be worn year round and year after year. To this day, I wear nothing else. (Which also is a huge savings in terms of money, meaning less money woes and more money to spend elsewhere, thus a less stressful life.)

   How does this promote a healthy life? Changing my wardrobe, freed me of a whole lot of stress, peer pressure, and competition, all of which are very unhealthy. The lose fitted wardrobe frees my body from confinement and frees my soul as well. All of this equals a happier lifestyle and a happier lifestyle equals a healthier life.

   So my conclusion: are religious people healthier than non religious people?

   Based on my own personal life: yes! Religious/spiritual people are healthier than the general public, because they have chosen to live a lifestyle that is markedly different from the general public. They chose to live healthier, eat healthier, and live in happier, less stressful environments, and thus become healthier in the long run.

4. Freedom, Politics, & Freedom of Religion? How free is free really?

   I Say: Freedom? Really? You mean there is such a thing? I'm sorry, I hadn't noticed.

   Freedom is an often used word, but how many truly know what it means? A better question probably is: *How many people tell you to let them have their freedom, while trying to control your every move, in effect robbing you of your own freedom?*.

   Parents force their children to attend the college that they never got to go to.

   Churches intimidate people into performing strict rituals and than farther rob them of their freedom by guilt-tripping them into giving the church money under the name of *love gifts* or *tithes*.

   Friends threaten to never speak to you again, if you don't do this or that for them.

   Aunts and uncles compare you to your cousins and try to convince you that you aren't as good.

   Fathers become dictators, threatening to disown the son that doesn't join the family business.

   Mothers become tyrants disguised as matchmakers, when they pick out husbands for their daughters.

   The government forces a draft on the young people and sends them to jail if they refuse to *fight for their country*.

   All of this is done in the name of freedom. It's all about freedom.

   Freedom: it's what they want for themselves, but refuse to give to you.

Worship Services

1. This Category has no FAQ yet!

   This Category has no FAQ yet!

Weddings

1. It is said you have some strict marriage counselling ideas that discourage couples from getting married. What's that all about?

   Do you believe marriage is just "till death do us part?" Yes? Than stop right now and find yourself another wedding officiant. I believe in soul mates. I believe that each person is half of a 2-peice puzzle, and that once you have been married in a past life, you will re find each other and re marry each other (or attempt to) in each subsequent life time...forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever for thousands of life times. (And yes, I do also believe that you may have been male or female alternatly from one life time to the next, and you could both end up as males or females at the same time). I do not believe in "till death do we part" weddings, nor will I perform them. I bind the two of you together for eternity, and if you do not believe in eternal marriage than you should not be asking me to perform your services for you.

   But I have more to say: much more. I will not marry the two of you until you have gone to marriage counselling. And on that note, I ask both of you to read rhis section and consider every word I say here, before you go through with this. Now you may find some of what I say shocking and upsetting, but please read all of it, because you will see by the end why I have worded this in what may at first seem some what of a cruel and cold manner. I want you to pay close attention to your own personal responce to each thing I say, because how you respond to these things is very important, as you shall soon see.

   Here is something to think about. First off I do not recommend getting married. Why? Because if you live in the United States of America there is a 89% chance that in less than 3 years from now you will discover that you hate each other and get divorced.

   Couples jump into marriage too fast and often for the wrong reasons. More often than not, they marry because of peer pressure: from mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandmothers, grandfathers, in-laws, co-workers, friends, and church leaders.

   They feel they "have" to get married "or else"...or else they will let their family down, or else they will not be allowed in heaven, or else they will be left behind, or else they will die alone, or else they will miss out on one of a million dofferent things they could be missing out on....the list goes on and on.

   Teenagers rush into marriage so adults will take them seriously. Mormons girls run into marriage so church leaders will not condem them for not giving birth to 4 babies by the time they are 20 years old. Others marry for money because they feel they can not make it on their own. Lonely hearts marry just so they do not have to sleep alone. And there are thousands more wrong reasons to marry.

   If you are not marrying your best friend, you should not be getting married.

   Before you marry, leave. Take a world tour. Spend 3 years on the other side of the world. Get away from the person you intend to marry. For 3 years do not call them, do not write to them, do not visit them. Three years. But also, spend those 3 years 100% faithful to that person. Do not date others. No sex with any one. No flirting. No dancing. No hugging. No kissing. Nothing. Stay faithful. Stay true. For three years, and do it, without any contact with the person you plan to marry.

   Can you do that? Think about it. Really. Stop and think about that. Could YOU spend 3 years having no contact with your spouse AND remain 100% absolutly truely devoted, loyal, and faithful to that person.

   Most people hear this and they respond with: "But I can't go that long with out sex!" Really? Why? I have not had sex in 8 years. I am faithful to the man I loved and still love, even though he's been gone for 8 years. Why? Because I really, truely, deeply loved him with every fiber of my soul. The marriage mean nothing more than sex to you? What if you spouse was in an accident and paralized from the waist down? Sex would be gone: FOREVER. Are you going to get a divorce or becoming an adulterer, because there is no more sex in your relationship? Does your future spouse mean nothing more than personal pleasure to you? If you do not love your future spouse, truely and deeply with every fiber of your soul, than you have no business marrying them.

   Let's think of another one: Can you do the reverse? Can you move in together. Live together. Spend every day together in the same house: while sleeping in seperate beds? Can you live together for 3 years with out sex? Think about it. Most married couples, after 5 years of marriage, go weeks, months, even years with out sex. Some are fine with it. Some are not. What about you? Could you go 3 years with out sex and still love this person? Could you go 3 years without sex and still be faithful to this person?

   Sex is a wonderful glorious thing. It is a sacred act, reserved to be shared between two people who love each other and wish to share that love with each other for eternity. But if sex is the only reason you are marrying this person, than you may need to reconsider marriage because sex is often gone after only a few years of marriage. If you can't live with out sex now, how will you deal with living with out sex 3 years after the wedding? These are things you need to talk about with each other, right here, right now, before the wedding.

   Now here is something else to think about. Heve you ever read a dictionary? No? Well I have. Several in fact. I love reading dictionaries. Try it some time. But do you know the differance between a wedding and a marriage? You thought they were the same thing? No. They are not.

   A wedding is a legal act of joining two couple together on paper in front of witnesses.

   A marriage is the physical union of two bodies via the act of sex.

   Have the two of you already had sex? Well than, you are in fact all ready married. Have you had sex with multiple partners? Interesting fact of the matter is, how ever many sex partners you have had, is how many spouses you are physically married too. Now consider how many sex partners has your partner had? How does ths make you feel? Will you be able to live with those feelings? Will those feelings grow to hate years don't the road? Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to his/her sex partners? Does he/she ever compare you to past lovers? These are some very serious feelings here and if you are having trouble with them now, before the wedding, how much worse do you think those feelings are going to be 5 or 10 years from now? If there are any problems or resentments in this area, you need to talk about them now, before the wedding, not later, after the wedding. Now is the time to get these feelings out in the open and out of the way so that they will not become a problem a few years from now.

   Every time you have sex you marry yourself to that person. Only through a wedding do you become "legally married", yet you get re-married every time you have sex. The word marriage literally means: joining of the flesh. Think about it for a while and than ask yourself how many times have you had sex? The answer to that question is also how many times you have been married in the flesh.

   For me to preform a wedding cerimony in good faith, I must be sure that the two of you plan to spend not only this life together with each other, but also, you next lives, after you die. So ask yourself this: if you marry today and one of you dies tommorrow, is the other one going to be willing to live ALONE in a completely SEXLESS life for the rest of their life? Do you love each other THAT much?

   How long have you known each other? A week? A month? A year? Ten years? Have you known each other long enough to commit to spending the next 80 years together? Think about it: that's a really long time to be with one person. Are you sure that this is REALLY the one person you want to be with forever and ever and ever and ever and ever...

   How well do you know each other? Are there things in your past that you are hiding from each other? To start off a marriage while holding back secrets is a very bad start. A very bad start indeed. Get any secrets out in the open now, BEFORE the wedding, so that you can really honestly enter this marriage with a clean slate, openly trusting one another. And don't think you can get away with hiding some dark secret, because believe me, spouses are notorious at finding out any hiden secret. All secrets will come out eventually, so it is better for all concerned, if they come out now, so you can deal with them before the wedding and more past them.

   How well do you know each other? I'm going to write a list of questions. Some of these questions may seem out of place, but these questions are all on topics that have been the cause of divorces, once the couple found out they disagreed on the answers to said questions. I want you to write them down, and write out the your answers to them. Than I want you to hand your answers to your future spouse. Read each other's answers. Where they what you expected them to be?

   • How many children do you hope to have?
   • How soon do you hope to have children?
   • If you can't have children, will you adopt?
   • What religion will you raise your children as part of?
   • What are your thoughts on the baptism of children?
   • Don't want children? How will you prevent pregnancy from happening?
   • How many pets are you going to have in your household? What types?
   • Where will you live: city, state, country, zoning?
   • Where will you live: apartment, farm, RV, duplex, house, mountain-top chalet, city, suberb?
   • What are your thoughts on monogamy?
   • What are your thoughts on polygamy?
   • What are your thoughts on remarriage after the death of a spouse?
   • What is your ideal date night?
   • Who is God and what does God mean to you and your life?
   • Who is Jesus and what does Jesus mean in your life?
   • What is the ideal political party and why?
   • What are your thoughts on global warming?
   • Where do you stand on gun control?
   • How do you feel about animal rights?
   • Should women be allowed in the workplace?
   • What are your thoughts o women and their roles as mothers and house wives?
   • Should women be allowed to preach in church?
   • Is your spouse your #1 prority? If not, what comes first and why? What is your second, third, and fourth prorities? Did your spouse even make it on to the top ten list?
   • Put the following things in the order of most importance to least importants: God, Religion, Spouse, Children, Pet, Country, Home, School, Car, Job, Money, Social Life, Alone Time
   • How far are you willing to go to make this relationship work?
   • What gives you the most fullfillment in life?
   • If you could be doing anything right now what would you be doing?
   • If you could do any job/career what job/career would you have?
   • If you one the $50million Power Ball, what is the first thing you would do with the money? What else would you do with it?
   • What are your thoughts on gambling, casinos, races, and lottery?
   • What are your thoughts on gay rights?
   • What do you like most about your relationship?
   • If the 2 of you were trapped on a deserted island, what would you want to have with you and why?
   • What do you feel is the best thing about sex?
   • What is your favorite together time activity?
   • What is a long term goal you dream of achieving?
   • What emotions do you experiance when you achieve a long term goal?

   Upon writing your answers you may feel that this exercise is silly and not needed. You probably will write down you answers almost laughing at the thought of how any one COULD NOT answer the same way as you just did.

   But now it's time to hand over your answers to your future spouse. As you read each others answers, you may be surprised, shocked, and even appualed and angered by the answers you are reading - most couples are. Reading your mate's answers to these questions will open your eyes to a whole new side of your lover which you have never seen before. ..an area you will want to explore deeply before moving on to the step of marriage.

   Now I know, you may be thinking I'm getting all preachy and dogmatic here, but I assure I am not. I'm just asking you to stop and think about what you are doing and why you are doing it. We live in a society were 9 out of every 10 marriages ends in divorce and I don't want to see you become one of those 9 divorces. I want you to be the 1 out of 10 who is going to still be happily married 50 years from now. And that's why I am asking you to think about these things.

   I want you to be absolutly 100% sure you really love each other enough to be married, enough to be commited for life and enernity, enough to stick together through thick and thin, good and bad, forever and ever. I want to see you happily married and I don't want you jumping in with your eyes closed. You need to really take some time to know the person you are planning to spend eternity with.

2. Do you perform services for same sex couples?

   Yes. And this being Maine, thanks to Maine's equality laws, same sex couples can be legally marriaged rather than just handfasted.

Funerals

1. I heard that there is a ritual that you can do if you have had a miscarriage to honor and mourn your lost baby. Do you know what this ritual is?

   I know your pain, your loss, and your sorrow. It is hard to heal. Hard to not cry. Even harder if you must go though it alone.

   I will tell you what it is that Etiole (my spirit guide) told me, and maybe it will help you to find peace.

   "Life is not, first you are born, than you die, than you wait to be sent to Heaven or Hell. Those who teach this are in error. They do not see the full picture. They have only a glimpse of what is, and they have interpreted it falsly. They are not intending to deseve any one, but when they teach that this is what life is, they are teaching wrongly.

   Here is what is:

   Life has no begining. Life has no end. Life always has been. Life always shall be. You have existed for a millienia. You shall exist for many more. Life is enternal. Life is far greater than anything your physical mind can comprehend. You are a student. The Earth is your school. Before you were born, you were given a choice of many lessons you could learn. Some choice very hard tasks. Some choice very easy tasks. Some had already been to Earth before and wished to go back so they could learn other things they missed out on the first time. Each of you picked the life you now live. When you chose it, you had a specific goal in mind, something you wished to learn, so that you could move on to your next life. At birth the end goal is erased and you can see it no more. This makes your task far more difficult than you thought it would be. Think of Earth as though it were a college and you have come to learn many things.

   As for why do babies die. When you are concieved, your first day of school begins. As you grow in your mother's womb, you are learning many things. For some this is enough. For some it is all they signed up for. They needed to learn a lesson of love. They needed to feel a mother's love. It was their goal. Once you have completed your goal, you move on to the next lesson, the next class room, the next school, and your physical body dies so that you can move on.

   For the mother, the death can be very hard, for there was such great love involved. You love each other in the life before. You chose each other. You chose to be the mother, knowing your time together on Earth would be but for a moment. You agreed to this, before you were born. You are stronger than most. Many turn down this lesson. They can not bear it. You are strong. You knew this child had a lesson to learn. Many are not willing to take this task. Most pass it up as a lesson they wish not to learn. You knew this child needed only a very short lesson in life. You knew this child needed you. You chose to help this child, knowing the pain of the lose would be great, but also knowing that you were helping the child to advance to his next classroom, and knowing that the two of your would be reunited once again.

   It was the lesson you chose: to gain love and to lose love. In the pre-existance, you looked at this task, in the lens of eternity. It seemed to you than, that the sorrow would last only for an instant. You wanted to know sorrow, for in the spirit world, there was no sorrow, and you knew it was a lesson you needed to learn, before you could progress onward. You could see the beginning and the end. You could see that one day, you too would die and at that moment your spiritual body would be reunited with all of your loved ones, and you and your dear one would be together once again. When you looked through the lens of eternity, you saw these years on Earth and though it would be easy, because it would be for such a short time. Now that you arehere on Earth, you see that perception of time is different here, and what seemed like only a second there, seems like eternity here.

   Do not lose your faith. Do not be dishearted. All is as it is meant to be. All these things have a purpose. The reasons may not be clear to you now and they may never be clear to you in this life, but when you return to the other side, all will be made clear, and you will understand than, why this had to be. Know that you are loved, that you are never alone, we are always with you, even if you can not see or hear us, we are always here to comfort you and bring you peace. Ask for our guaidance and we shall help you through this. You are a great blessing to many people, more than you could ever know. Love. Peace. Sleep. Rest. Know that all well be well. You can relax now. Everything is okay."

   There are many rituals for this sort of thing. I find that meditating in nature, in the woods, in a rose garden, on the beach, helps wonders. To simple sit and empty your mind of every thing. Listening only to the sound of the wind and birds, and feeling the loving energy the universe has to offer you. Lighting candles and asking spirit guides, angels, and saints to watch over you and your child's spirits also helps.

Blessings

1. This Category has no FAQ yet!

   This Category has no FAQ yet!

Baptisms

1. I've decided to accept Jesus into my life, will you baptize me?

   Uhm. No?

   You want to accept Jesus in your life, than just accept him in your life! Follow his example. Do what he did (after he was baptized of course - don't be like the wild pre-baptised Jesus!) Love every one Hate no one. Feed the hungry. Shelter the homeless. Cloth the cold. Confort the fatherless and widowed. In other words - the ONLY way you can accept Jesus into your life is to DO EXACTLY WHAT HE TOLD YOU TO DO!

   Jumping around screaming "Praise the Lord, I am saved!" Is NOT accepting Jesus in your life. All that is is jumping around screaming you were saved.

   Acceptance of Jesus does not require baptism.

   Baptism is reserved ONLY for repantance of sins.

2. I want to join your church, do I need to be baptised to become a member?

   No.

   Any church that is using baptisms as an initiation ritual, is not practising baptism as Jesus taught.

   There are only 2 religions in the entire world, 2 out of 15,000 which use baptism as a form of club membership: LDS (Mormons) and Roman Catholic.

   Unlike the Catholic and Mormon churches, I am NOT running an eletist social club or a fraternity. There are no initiation rituals and no club membership records. This is a house of prayer and worship, not a country club full of arrogant snobs.

   We only use baptisms in the same manner of which Jesus did.

    

3. What is a baptism done in the Jesus way?

   Baptism is a symbol of repentance. A person becomes baptised after they have committed a sin (thus why children and infants should NEVER be baptised as they have no concept of sin).

   Jesus taught us that there are steps to being baptised. There is much more to baptism than just being dunked under water.

   Step #1: Be of a Contrite Spirit aka Remorse:

   You must feel guilty about the wrong you have done. Did you hit your wife? Did you steal from a store? Did you burn down someone's house? Whatever your crime was, no matter how big or how small, you must feel guilty first. Step #1 is looking inside yourself and seeing a person you no longer want to be, and making up your mind to make a consceouse effort to change and become a better person.

   Step #2: Seek Forgivness:

   If you want to be forgiven of a certain wrong, you must undo the wrong and make it right, and than go to the person whom you have wronged and ask them to forgive you.

   If you yelled at your wife, don't come to me and ask to be forgiven, go to her and ask her to forgive you and than sign up for anger managment classes to make good on your repentance.

   If you stole something from the store, take that item back to the store and ask for the manager's forgiveness.

   If you burned somebody's house down, pay to build them a new house and ask them to forgive you.

   I can not forgive you, because I am not the person you have hurt. God can not forgive you either, because he is also not the one mad at you or hurt by you. God doesn't need to forgive you. God is not the one ma at you. There is ONLY ONE PERSON who can forgive your sin, and that is the person whom was hurt by your sin. So don't come to me and ask forgiveness and don't go to God asking for forgiveness either! Go to the person you have wronged and ask them to forgive you.

   Step #3: Ceramonial Cleansing aka Baptism:

   Now comes the time to seek out a baptism. Your goal is to die spiritually and be born again a new and better person. Going under the water symbolizes your ritualistically drowning the sinner. You are killing him and casting his body aside in the water. His evil ways are washed out of your soul and your body is cleased of his sin. You arise up out of the water a new and better person. Gone is the sinner. Never again will your raise your voice to your wife. Never again will you steal. Why? Because the old man is dead and gone, burried under the water's waves, never to return into your life again.

   Step #4: Remission of Sins aka Repentace:

   Now comes the hard part: Keeping the dead sinner, dead and buried, and remaining with out fail, the new and rightious person who sins no more. Baptism is your promise to God, that you will repent, and now it is up to you to ACTUALLY repent and sin no more.

    That is the way Jesus taught baptism. That is why we here practice baptism by full imersion under water, and why we only do baptisms out doors in a NATURAL brook, river, pond, or ocean with MOVING water to symbolically wash away sins.

4. But Jesus lived a sinless life, if baptism is a means of repentance why did he get baptised?

   Please READ your Bible. Actually pull it out, open it up, and read, cover to cover EVERY SINGLE PAGE of it. Don't just sit their listening to preachers. Chances are high that the preacher is only quoting a lesson manual, and quoting only parts of scriptures the lesson told him to quote. It is HIHLY UNUSUAL to find a minister of ANY religion whom has ever sat down and read the Bible cover to cover. I can prove this, by the fact that they preach Jesus lived a sinless life.

   He did not.

   What did Jesus do? Specifically? Murder.

   Yep, you read that right. Murder. Jesus had a horrible temper and he killed a 12 year old boy.

   Shocking? Oh yes, I know, very few people are aware of that part of Jesus life, because no one ever actually READS their Bibles, not even the ministers who preach the Bible. Every one is too busy reading their lesson manuals and study guides and focusing on the sunshine and happiness stories in the Bible and deliberatly overlook and avoid anything not so nice to read, like the fact that Jesus was prone to violent outbursts on several occasions: whipping men, tearing up fig trees, yelling at pigs, and fatally braining small children with rocks. Uh-huh. Go ahead. Read it. I dare you.

   Jesus lived a sinless life? HA!

   Jesus felt so bad about having killed the kid, that he went seeking out John the Baptist and asked to be baptised. Jesus than spent 40 days fasting, while walking through the desert praying and asking God what he could do to make things right. Jesus emerged from the desert  "born again" as a "new man" now repentant of his sins and devoting the next 3 years of his life to doing good and preaching a message of love and non-violence.

5. Where does the Bible say Jesus killed a boy and needed to repent of his sins?

   Book of Thomas:

   3 The son of Annas the scholar, standing there with Jesus, took a willow branch and drained the water Jesus had collected.

   (2)Jesus, however, saw what had happened and became angry, saying to him, “Damn you, you irreverent fool! What harm did the ponds of water do to you? From this moment you, too, will dry up like a tree, and you’ll never produce leaves or root or bear fruit.”

   (3) In an instant the boy had completely withered away. Then Jesus departed and left for the house of Joseph.

    (4)The parents of the boy who had withered away picked him up and were carrying him out, sad because he was so young. And they came to Joseph and accused him: “It’s your fault – your boy did this.”

   4 Later he was going through the village again when a boy ran and bumped him on the shoulder. Jesus got angry and said to him, “You won’t continue your journey.”

   (2)And all of a sudden, he fell down and died.

   (3)Some people saw what had happened and said, “Where has this boy come from? Everything he says happens instantly!”

   (4)The parents of the dead boy came to Joseph and blamed him saying, “Because you have such a boy, you can’t live with us in the village, or else teach him to bless and not curse. He’s killing our children!“

   ‎(that above came from a modern translation - has standard English wording)

    

Exorcism

1. What is an exorcism?

   Exorcism is casting out invisable entities, good, bad, or otherwise. It does not kill, destroty, or harm the entity, but rather forces the entity out of the place it is in.

   It is best to provide a place for the entity to go to, before hand (though it may not go there), to help preventing it from bothering some one else.

   Bottle spells for example: providing a bottle for the entiry to enter into, allows the "possessed" person to take the bottle and leave it in the forest or cast it into the river, thus allowing the entity a place to live out of the way of harm to others.

   However entities requiring casting out, generally are angry, temperamental, and violent, thus why they need to be cast out to begin with. It is best to first try to contact the entity and find out why it is angry and try to correct the problem causing the anger. This will result in the entity either moving on to another plain of existance, or continuing on here on earth, but now at peace with it's existance.

   If the entity can not be pacified, moved to a new out of the way place, or helped to move beyond the physical realm, than it become necessary to perform an exorcism to cast it out by force. By force means, by calling on the help of angels and arch-angels (very powerful spirit beings) who act as "police officers of the spirit world" and forcably remove the entity from the place/person it is posessing. This however can be a loud, noisey, violent, and messy ordeal resulting in horrendous levels of "poltergeist activity" while the exorcism is going on.

   An exorcism should not be undertaken by some one new to channeling spirits as it is a dangerous event that has been known to cause serious injury to the people involved, both the exorcists and the person(s) requesting the exorcism being done.

2. My son has an evil spirit, can you do an exorcism on him?

   Yeah, it's an odd thing really. My connection with Etiole and all, people seem to think I can talk to demons because I can talk to Etiole. They refuse to believe he is NOT a demon.

   Women keep bringing their sons, little sons, little more than babies, to me with the question: "My son has an evil spirit in him, I can't find any one who does exorcisms, can you cast it out?"

   If you can prove to me that your son ACTUALLY DOES have an evil spirit in him, yes, actually, I can.

   However, to date no one who has come to me speaking of casting out evil spirits, devils, or demons has been able to provide such proof. Quite the contrary, in every case thus far (three different sons, a house, and 2 cars) evidance has suggested that the person doing the accussing was in fact mentally ill. This was proven by the fact that, after suspecting mental illness was the case, I checked with their medical records and found the accussers (not the sons being accussed) of having parinoid schizophrenia, bi-polar disorder, and dementia. A check of the three boys' medical records showed me that all three had HADD and in each case, the mother had brought the boy to me with in hours of recieving the diagnosis of HAAD.

   The two cars in question, proved to have mechanical problems easily fixed (a broken door latch was causing the door to open as people drove it, ect.).

   The house in question, had no evidance of demons or evil spirits, though there was found to be a ghost there, the ghost was harmless and not the cause of the problem. The problem turned out to be a jealous wife who was so suspisious of every one that she had convinced herself that all female demons from hell had moved into the house in attempt to steal her husband from her. This btw, was the same woman who had parinoid schizophrenia and had also brought her 2 year old HAAD son to me, claiming that a heard of demon pigs was living inside of him.

   Exorcism are extrodinarily rare, because TRUE DEMON POSSESSION is extrordinarly rare. The only ACTUAL cases of demon possession occuring, happen after a near death experiance cause by a massive head wound. When the soul reenters the body it may bring with it another soul. This happens when the soul of another dead person, has not been able to move on, and they become bitter and angry thus "a demon" and attempt to steal the body of another. But as I said this event is extrodinarly rare.

   Children are NOT born with demons in them, Autism IS NOT demon possession, nor is epilepsy or ADD or HADD.

   Possession of houses and cars and other items DOES happen, but again it is rare that such a possession is "evil" or warrents an exorcism. Most hauntings are harmless and go un-noticed, in fact most every house will have one or more ghosts living in it, but no one notices, because ghosts are as a general rule harmless.

   If you are dealing with an "angry ghost" rarely is exorcism the answer. Exorcism does not "kill" or "destroy" the spirit, it only forces it to move elsewhere. In other words, it leaves your house to go to some one elses house, thus the problem is not done away with, but rather passed on to some one else to deal with.

   A better solution is to try to connect with the spirit to find out why it is angry and help it to overcome it's anger to move on peacefully.

   But crazy women convinced of their ADD child's demon possession, don't like hearing that there is no demon in their child and they flip out all freakazoid at me so it's not something I go around promoting and if you come to me asking me to cast demons out of children or animals I will want to see copies of YOUR medical records and will ask you to seek psychiatric evaluation and provide me with a copy of those results BEFORE I will look into your claims of demon possession of children, animals, or other living beings.

   .

Ordinations

1. I would like to become a minister. do you do ordinations?

   Uhm...legally I CAN ordain ministers. As of this writing I have never done it, and I would have to look up Maine's laws regarding what is needed to be done, before I could do it.

   I know that the person who ordains you, must provide you with a certificate of ordination and a letter of good standing saying they believe you to be fit to be a minister.

   Well, I guess the proper answer would be, it's not something that I am doing at the moment, but it is probably something that I would do in the future, however I would want to have some written up guidelines posted here for me to follow, before I start doing ordinations and, I think, I would have to know you personally, for quite some time, before I would ordain you. I also think that I would like to have some sort of seminary course set up, for you to take before hand so that I would be more aware of your training and thus be able to provide a letter of good standing which actually has some weight to back it up.

   So at the moment, no, I will not be ordaining any ministers, but keep checking back because it is something that'll be added here at some point in the (near?) future.

Christo-Paganism

1. Are you a witch?

   That is debatable, I guess. I have never refered to myself as a wich, however, locals have been calling me "The Sea-witch of Old Orchard Beach" since the ate 1970's.

   The more superstitous locals are absolutly terrified of me, believing I have the power to tell them to drop dead and if I say such a thing they will die that very day. If you were to listen to local rumors, I've supposedly "killed" over 70 people in this manner.

   It started several years ago, when (at age 12) I told a Mormon Bishop he needed to repent, and the next day his house was hit by lightening and burnt to the ground. He hysterically blamed me calling me a witch and saying I had put a curse on him. I told him to take back his lieing words and a week later he broke both arms in a skiing accident, 3 states away. He hysterically told police that I had cursed him and had caused the accident.

   That same year I told a woman at church "Go to hell" and the next day she was killed in a car accident when she drove under a tractor trailer truck and cut off both the top of her car and her head. A few years later a priest I had yelled at barly survived escape when his house was also hit by lightening.

   A few years later the church itself was hit by lightening.  I attended a different church, forced to leave the other by hysterical members, after 3 years, simmilar event started happening to the new church and after 3 guest pastors were called in to preform an excorsism on me, the church asked me not to return. The following day a tornado demolished the church: in Maine, in the middle of the woods. Exactly 7 years from that date, the pastor himself was killed when his yatch was hit by lightening out at sea on his vacation in Florida.

   In 2007 I got angry at my doctor and his was killed along with several staff members when his office was hit by ligghtening hours after my visit.

   While Christians run rampant screaming I am an evil demon possessed witch, more level headed people say that I am a poltergeist and suffer from PK abilities causing harm to any one I get angry at, due to my having and enourmous amount of mental control over the energy around me. Christians hear that and respond with "See? I told you she was a witch."

   The latest event occurred a few weeks ago (February 2011) when I attempted to return to the original church I had gone to, and my walking in the building resulted in setting off the fire alarms.

   No one can explain it, but when you add the fact that I can not wear a watch, use a calculator, be near a clock, hold batteries in my hand, or use a film loaded camera due to the fact that they all "fizzle" and "go dead" in close contact with me, some scietists and doctors believe that I have at some point come into contact with extremely high levels of radiation and am somehow eminating radiation as a result, but they admit they are baffled as to how to explain how such a thing is even possible.

   Personally, my own theory is, that these things started happening when Etiole showed up in my life and they happen with greater frequency during times when I spend large ammounts of time with him, and I can only assume it is the enormous ammounts of energy his body gives off, picking up on me and reflecting back on others.

   But does any of that make me a witch? No.

2. Pagan Religions, Good, Bad or Ugly?

   Many people frown on Pagan religions, but should they?

   I've read/heard time and time again, that all pagans are bad, evil, or Satanic. But can that possibly be true? 75% of the world's population follows a so-called pagan faith. Are 75% of all mankind evil?

   I keep hearing how Pagan religions are bad. I look at the folks who are saying this and ask: Why? On what grounds do they base their prejudice?

   By translation the word Pagan means country folk, and actually has nothing to do with religion at all! What people are calling Pagan religions, usually means Wicca. Most of the folks putting down Wicca are basing their prejudice on such TV shows as Charmed. Now I ask you, how many practicing Pagans do you see shooting fire from their finger tips at scaly green demons? None. Do these people not know that Charmed is pure fantasy? And that Charmed's version of Wicca is nothing like the real thing? Weird. Scary even, how people confuse fiction with reality.

   Pagan religions however, get their name from the word Pagan. As I said the word Pagan, when translated into English, means country folk (farmers). The term Pagan Religions means indigenous religions of the country folk. What does that mean? That means that Pagan religions include not only the Picts (Wicca), but also Native American belief systems, African tribal belief systems, Haitian Voodoo, Asian ancestor worship, Papua New Guinea's headhunter tribal beliefs, Australian aboriginal Dream-time, Aztec and Inca mythology, Egyptian mythology, and the gods of ancient Greece, Rome, and Norse, as well as every other small religion practiced by tribal units, wandering nomads, country farmers, forest woodsmen, and every other small group who practices some form of non-Christian religion. In fact, Pagan religions make up 75% of all the world's religions! Christianity is the minority among religions and is only wide spread in America and a few of the bigger countries in Europe.

   Are Pagans evil workers for Satan? Most certainly not! They are people on a spiritual path, just like you!

3. What is a Christo-Pagan? Does one have to attend Church (any denomination) to be a Christian Witch?

   No. I don't think do. I used to think you could not be Christian if you did not attend a Church each week, however, events in my life have opened my eyes to the fact that not every one in church is a Christian and not every Christian is in a church.

   This is one of those questions that runs on the assumption that I am a witch, because all the local Christians keep saying I am a witch.

   I was born a Mormon. I've been called a Witch since 1979. For my entire life until March of 2003, I attended Church services without fail, every single one of them, which meant I was in Church on Sunday from 9AM till Noon, back again for a few hours in the evenings, back again for classes held on Tuesday nights, back again for classes held on Friday nights, and to every activity which average 3 to 4 four hour activities per month. All in all I spent roughly 2,000 hours a year in a Church building each year for 30 odd years.

   Of course, my Grandmother, married into the family, and was one of the rare few non-Mormons in my family's history. She was a Seventh Day Adventist and a Kickapoo and was accussed by locals of being a Weather Witch. (She was a Kickapoo N.A.Indian, Animal Rights Activist, SDA extremist, and what people caled a Weather Witch, thou she did not herself, call herself a witch). She was one of the few people I was allowed to have contact with. I spent approximately 6 hours a day with her, from the age of 8 till I turned 17 (the year she died). I learned much of what I do hoodoo-witch-wise from her. . . not her teaching me, but just me watching what she did.

   I grew up in the LDS (Mormon) church. My family can trace our history all the way back to the beginning (Joesph Smith lived in Maine, before his family moved to Vermont, before they moved to New York (where he than found the gold plates, wrote the BoM, than founded the Church). When I say my family goes back to the beginning of the church, I mean the VERY beginning, BEFORE the church was founded. As such, my family has a long and sorted history with the church, and when they finally followed Smith/Young West, the rest of his followers got lumped into one group known as "The Mormon Trail", while our family being what it was, got it's own trail named for us: "The Atwater Trail".

   Generations of Atwaters have lived through everything in Mormon history, and ended up, becoming famous for being the strictest, most fundamental, dogma controlling family in the entire church. In areas of Utah and Maine where our family still lives, other Mormons are known to point out: "What out, there goes one of the Atwaters, they're all crazy." or when they see me they say "Stay away from her, she's an Atwater, that ones a Witch you know, cross her and she'll curse you. You'll be dead in a week."

   You see, the Atwater family didn't change when the Church did. The most extremist of us, are classified as Orthodox Saints by other Mormons or Mormon Christ-Pagans, by non-Mormons. I'll explain:

   For example a Mormon Christo-Pagan would be calling upon the help of Familiars (angels, faeries, spirits, God) and use seer stones (crystals), just as Joseph Smith himself had done. Like Emma Smith they use herbs and ritual chants to heal the sick. Like Smith and Young, they talk face to face with angels, Jesus, and God himself. They still use the Blessing Cloths of the Saints, just as the early Prophets of the Church did. In keeping with the pre-1979 teachings of the Church, they are farmers, living off the land, homeschooling their children, avoiding contact with Gentiles (all non-Mormons), women do not wear pants, many dress "Amish like", do not cut their hair, and do not work in jobs outside the home, and the family keeps it's 3 year supply well stocked. They are known as the Orthodox Latter Day Saints, living the Church's rule to the letter as it was originally taught in the 1800's, not as it evolved in modern times. (and yes there are polygamists in my currently living extended family as well, which explain how there can be 264 of us alive right now -- and this includes one odd ball aunt who has 7 husbands -- she's a feminist and figured if the men could do it, so could she.) (On a personal note, I too am one of the odd balls of the family, I live the life of a "Catholic Nun" - virgin married to Christ, and therefor shun the practice of polygamy and the practice of sex altogether -- other Mormons call me "The Jesus Freak".)

   The problem comes in when the Gentiles get baptized into the Church and bring with them their worldly sins and wicked ways, with their public schooled children, their short haired worldly women, their unbelief in physical communion with angels, their anti-Mormon ideas about using seer stones, crystals, herbs, and blessing cloths being of the devil, and their obsessions with growing wealthy, watching TV and eating meat.

   As more and more of these unsaintly Gentiles got baptized into the Church, their ways started having more and more influence on the teachings of the church coming out of Salt Lake headquarters, until in 1979, the Prophet enacted countless changes, in order that the church laws would be better adapted to the lifestyles of the Gentiles joining the Church. More changes went into effect in 1983, most of the temple rituals were removed in 1991, and still more changes came in 1997, and finally again in 2007 when they actually edited the BoM to be more politically correct!!!! And yet another even more politically correct release is due in mid 2011.

   I'm old enough to remember the church before 1979. I grew up in the "Old Church" before the change, in a family that was still living the very old church ways. I grew up in the Church when it taught "Live in the world not of the world", in a time when you could tell a Mormon on the streets from every one else, because they looked, dressed, acted, and talked VERY different from the rest of the world. It's been 30 years since the change in the way Salt Lake Headquarters runs the Church, and now, even the former Gentiles are allowed to have leadership positions, resulting in ever more changes as each year goes by. The LDS Church is quickly, becoming a secular den of people who are no different from the rest of the world, except for a rare few who still hold on the the old ways. God does not change - people change. God did not change the lifestyle of the Saints - false doctrines of man did. Like so many churches before it, the LDS Church has strayed by the way side and fallen off the straight and narrow path, it once stood so proudly upon.

   Those like myself old enough to have grown up in the Old Church, didn't change with the new ways. They still believe in living the same way as the Smiths did: as self sufficient farmers in personal one on one communion with the Spirit world. We spend our time in spiritual pursuits, rather than rushing to college and work. Rather than trying to manipulate the world around us, we live at one with it. Unfortunately this causes problems. This causes problems because the New Converts prefer the ways of modern man over the old fashioned ways of God.

   The New Converts (those members who joined the church after 1979) have their own set of modern ideals about what the Mormon Church "should be" rather than what is was as Smith created it. The New Converts are quick to call themselves "Mormons" rather than "Saints", claiming that "No one call REALLY live the life of a Saint in this day and age." They scoff at the old members who still call themselves "Saints" and still live the life style of a Saint. The New Convert Mormons point at the Old Member Saints and call them "Witches", pointing out that they wear a style of clothes not seen in 200 years, that God Jesus and Angels no longer speak one on one to Church members, that using Seer Stones like Smith did is evil, that the ritual herb healings of Emma were a sham, and that being a self sufficient farmer with no TV is just plain dull and old fashioned. (Do they actually believe these thing? If so, why than did they join a church that teaches AGAINST what they believe? Why do they follow Smith if the things he did are thought to be so wicked and evil when done by others?)

   When the finger of Witch gets pointed often enough at the same member over and over again, (as it did with me) it soon becomes a habit of all members in the Ward (what Mormons call church buildings) to single out "the Witch" and spend their time bullying, teasing, and tormenting them, until finally "The Witch" becomes an inactive member, leaving the Mormon Church, because it is no longer the church Smith started but is now a Den of Thieves. (at least that's what happened to me.)Mormons are known for their vindictiveness towards members they claim to be Witches, and once the violence got out of hand and the police had to be called in to protect me and my immediate family from other members, I knew I no longer belonged in that church.

   By doing the same things Smith did, as well as the same things done by Danial and Jaboc of the Old Testament and Jesus and the Maji of the New Testament, by dressing in garb no differeant than that worn by Jesus, I am accused of practicing Witchcraft and being a Witch and told that I have no business being in a Christian Church. Odd.

   After leaving the Mormon Church, I joined a Pentecostal Church, but left after 3 years, due to the fact that they too, pointed the finger of Witchcraft at me.

   After so many years of being accused of being a Witch, the "Witch" (me) now seeks out other so-called Witches and tries to join up with them, not really knowing what it is a Witch is. Unfortunately, this proves disastrous, as the other witches, are quick to point out that "The Witch" is not a Witch, but a damn Christian, with no business being a witch. And soon the bullying starts again, this time the "Witch" is now being cast out by the witches, for being "A Christian".

   Well, after that pint, I realized, I had to find out what exactly it is that a Witch actually is, and so, in 2005, I went to the library and took out 57 books (via inter library loan) about Witchcraft and read every single one of them cover to cover. (Scott Cunniham's books were the ones I liked best.)

   In the end, I realized, that yes, all these people accusing me of Witchcraft were correct, I was in fact a Witch on some level at least according to some people's deffanition of what a witch is, without ever realizing it. I also concluded that I was NOT a Wicca and had a bit of a distaste for "high ceremonial magic" rituals. I also realized that most of my style of Craft was very "Voodoo", esp my rampant use of Jujus (Voodoo Dolls), medicine bags (gris-gris), calling up Familiars/Faeries/Angels/Saints (Icon Magick), and my dressing like most Mambas (Vodun High Priestesses), though that is caused by the fact that I dress like Liberace.

   By 2006, I came to accept the fact that I was in fact a Witch of some sort, even if I did not intend to be, and had been since the 1970's (before 2006 if you called me a Witch, I would have told you I was not, because I did not realize the things I was doing was Witchcraft, at that time I had thought of Witches along the lines of "Bewitched" or "The Wizard of Oz".) The problem now was, that though I was in fact practicing Witchcraft, I was still very much the outspoken "Jesus Freak", which made me an outcast among other Witches, who were saying I was not a Witch because of my extreme devotion to Jesus.

   By living the "I am a lily" lifestyle Jesus lived, by constantly quoteing his words as part of my daily conversation, by preaching openingly to follow Christ and obey his laws, by dressing in garb no differeant than that worn by Jesus, I am accussed of being a Jesus Freak, and told by witches as being too Christian to be a Witch and have no business practing Witchcraft. Again . . . odd. Does that mean Jesus was a witch too?

   And that in the end is what it means to me to be a Christo-Pagan: A person who is called a Witch by Christians, but a Christian by Witches. I fit in with niether group, cast out of both for being too much of the other. One who is too witchy to be a Christian, but too Christian to be a Witch. Thus it is not an organized religious group, but rather an umbrella title given to people who are called Witches by Christians, and called Christians by Witches, making them an outcast of both not truly accepted by either, and forced to stand on their own without any positive support from a group and no one willing to fellowship with them. And even if the Witch does have a desire to attend Church, it may not be safe to do so due to the prejudices of the Christians. Odd, isn't that the way every one treated Jesus while he was alive too?

4. Are you a Wiccan?

   No. I have been accussed of being one by several fellow Christians, to the point that in 2005, I spent many months studying Wicca and talking with Wiccan members, and by 2007, I came to the conclusion, that I am most deffinaty NOT a Wiccan.

   Why?

   Well for starters I do not worship a Goddess of any type, and Goddess worship is the very heart and soul of the Wicca Religion.

   Additionally, Wccas have a distinctive set of rituals they use involving moon phases. Certain spells can only be cast durinf certain moon phases, for example, or certains prayers can only be prayed on certain days.

   More over they celebrate holidays which I have never heard of before and can not even begin to figure out how to pronounce let alone even make an attempt at trying to spell them.

   Wicca is very ritual based and everything is done in a certain way. For example spells are cast in a circle of salt, and the circle is drawn out very specifically, lining up with longatudes and latitudes and drawn clockwise or counterclockwise depending on the spell.

   There is also heavy use of wands and cerimonial knives and swords and well as alters that are laid out very specifically with certain numbers of certain colors of candle laid out in exact points on the alter.

   Another thing is their use of White verses Black magic. They use "White Magic" as "good magic" and avoid "Black Magic" at all costs calling it "evil magic". They teach that these are the ONLY types of magic out there, and additionally teach that "only those evil Voodoo WitchDoctors practice that evil black magic". This concept is quiet unique to Wiccans and is not the way I was taught magic.

   I learned that "White" magic was used for weddings and blessings and calling on spirit guides, while "Red" magic was used for love and sex and passion and "Orange" magic used for energy drawing, "Yellow" magic is used for healing and children, "Green" magic is used for luck and money drawing, "Dark Blue" magic is used for wisdom, "Light Blue" magic is used for house blessings, hppy homes, fidelity, and babies, "Pink" magic is used for romance and true love, "Purple" magic is used for abundance, "Brown" magic is used for court cases, and "Black" magic is used for protection from harm ...but this is also considering the fact that I learned magic from Voodoo not Wicca, and these are types of magic used in Voodoo, none of which is "evil" btw, also meaning that Wiccas, know very little of Voodoo..

   I'm afraid that while yes, I do have some vauge outer appearances of Wicca, such as the way I dress, and the fact that I do spell casting, the similarities are very thin and when you look closer you can see that only some one with no knowledge of Wicca would ever consider me anything close to Wiccan.

5. So what exactly is Wicca?

   I'm not the right person to be asking this question, because as stated above, I only know Wicca from reading books and asking questions to a few local Wiccans. I have never attended their church/coven or taking part in any of their rituals or ceremonies. I am also of the understanding that there are many branches or sects of Wicca, just as there are many branches and sects of Christianity.

   I will tell you what it is my understanding of Wicca is, as according to what I was told by local Wiccas whom I had asked (though, I'm not sure what type or sect of Wicca they were, so not sure how their type of Wicca differs from other types of Wicca.) But please keep in mind, not having practised it myself, I'm not sure how accurate this info is.

   Ok Wicca is, as I understand it, an Earth-based religion, in other words they strive to live a lifestyle in harmony with nature, by promoting love, peace, harmony, ecology, saving wild life, stopping global warming, protesting war-hunting-and meat-eating, and that sort of thing. They are often members of such places as PETA or Greenpeace.

   They have multiple deities, with The Triple Moon Goddess (Maiden-Mother-Croon) being the rulling deity and her consort The Horned God (Pan or Greenman)  being the lesser ruling deity. They use interscesory prayer to gods and goddesses the same way Catholics paryer to Mary, only instead of calling what they are doing prayers, Wiccas call it "casting spells".

   They honor all deities of all religions, some what in the same way Catholics reveire the Saints, believing all deities of all cultures in the world, to be minor gods and goddesses on some level.

   Members may be solitaries (a single person or family not associated with a coven) or a coven (a group of 3 or more members meeting for ceremonies, in a manner similar to Christian churches, but without preachers and sermons). They put great store in altar cerimonies and ritual magic (magic done with large groups of people, wearing special robes, carrying special wands and swords, and chanting while standing inside a magic cirle to give the praye [spell] more power).

   They live by the law: "So long as ye harm none, do what ye will", which results in them being very strict about things such as not drinking or smoking or using drugs or having "unsafe" sex or joining the military or having abortions or eating meat or doing any other activity to harm ones self or others, and they will often loudly and boldly protest against war and abortions.

   I suggest if you are looking for more and bettter (more accuratet?) info on Wicca, that you find a local church group/coven and ask them more about their religion.

6. I want to be a super powerful all knowing supreme leader king warlock. Can you help me?

   Uhm...yes, I can give you a list of psychiatrists to help you with you megalomania egotistical dominatrix control freak issues.

   Yes, I will help you with some terminology too.

   A warlock is not a male witch. You seem to be of that assumption.

   Warlock comes from the Scottish word for oath-breaker, and was bestowed upon people who ratted out members of their Coven during the burning times (the time when Catholic Templars Knights slaughtered, pillaged, raped, ad burned over 20,000 men, women, and children on grounds of witchcraft). This is not a desirable title.

   In Wicca, men are also called Witches. 

   No one should want to be a king. Being a king is not a good thing. In fact being in any form of authority is a very bad thing, because we as people are all equals and should treat each other as equals. When you start looking down on other and seeing yourself as superior you become guilty of sin and judgement. Judge not least ye be judge by the same measure with which ye have judged.

   You want to be super powerful? Eat right, drink lots of water, exercise, work out, take your vitamins, and get 6 hours of sleep each night.

   You want to be all knowing? Go to school, get an education. Get your GED. Go to College. Go to the library. Take an adult education course. Read, study, learn, create.

   You want to be a leader? Than ACT like a leader. Do good unto others. Help the poor. Feed the hungry. Cloth the naked. Shelter the homeless. Set an example others want to follow, and you shall be the greatest leader of the land.

   I will also point out how I am becoming increasingly annoyed by the questions asked under the assumption that I an either a Wiccan or a Witch when I have said repeatedly I AM NEITHER and have an extreme dislike for people using either term to describe me.

Tithes & Offerings

1. Wasnt one of the accusation against you, the fact that the Mormon church leaders claim you are not paying a full tithe?

   Yes. It is. There is a reason for their accusation. You see, my LDS/Moron membership records in Salt Lake City, show no moneys received, thus they say I have never paid tithing. And it is one of the reasons they use to support their claim I should not attend church serves.

2. Yet online, you are renowned for your preaching and promoting the paying of tithes. You have written huge essays on the subject and you are working on a book devoted to tithes. So how is it that the LDS church leaders are claiming you do not pay tithes?

   Like I said - they have no record of my paying tithes. That is true, and they are correct in saying so, but it is untrue their saying I did not pay tithes. I shall explain, but first, you must understand how the tithe system of the Mormon Church is set up.

   Every week, in Primary, Young Men’s, and Young Women’s classes (children aged 4 - 18) tithing slips are handed out by the teachers, with the instruction to be sure and pay your tithes before leaving the building that Sunday.

   A Tithing Slip, has a place where members write in their name and birth date, as well as address and SSI number . You fill in the income lines telling your pay day amounts for the week, and than tell how much of your pay is going to tithes and how much is going to the church building fund and how much is going to the missionary fund and how much is going to the temple building fund and how much is going to the welfare program. It is recommend that you put 10% of your week’s income in the tithing slot and than 5% in each of the other slots, for a grand total of 30% of your total weekly income going to the church, before taxes. The form has 3 carbon copies - one for the Church to keep in your membership record in Salt Lake City, one for you to keep, and one for you to send to the IRS. Each slip includes an envelope. You put the slip and your money in the envelope and give it to your Bishop before leaving the building.

   The form itself looks very similar to the IRS tax form you send in each April. And members retain a carbon copy of this slip which they send to the IRS so they can get a tax break for “charitable donations”.

   The slips are not handed out to adults, but instead are left in a bulletin board pocket by the front door of every Mormon Church Building. You are expected to take one on the way in, fill it out and hand it to the Bishop on the way out the door after services. And when asked, most Bishops recommend you pay with personal checks rather than cash, because “it’s easier to keep track of who pays how much that way.”

   However, Jesus teaches to be meek and humble, to give not for personal glory, to give in secret, and to never be “in the high places” boasting of your offerings.

   Because of Jesus’ teachings, I do not place my name on the tithing slips, nor my SSI number, nor my address. I don’t fill out how much I earned that week. I never paid with a check. And I don’t personally hand my envelope to the Bishop. Instead, I paid with cash, often all coins and no bills, because - well, the most I ever made in a single year was only $1,800, so my weekly income was often less than $5.

   How much did I pay? Because my income was so low, I often owed only a dime or a quarter each week. This did not sit well with me. I felt that paying only a single coin was inexcusable, not when I had 10 other coins sitting there too.

   So, how much tithe did I pay? I double everything on the slip. In the tithing slot I changed the 10% to 20%. In the church building fund, and the temple building fund, and the missionary fund, and the welfare program fund, I changed the totals from 5% to 10%. In the end, I gave a total of 60% of my income instead of the required 10% and the recommend 30%. And because of the manner in which I did it, I get no tax breaks from the IRS either. I would slip my tithing envelope under the door of the Bishop’s office, during the class meeting, when no one was in the hall, while on my way to the bathroom.

   How they recorded it on the records and what they did with it I don’t know. It was cash, it had not way to identify the sender, and it was never given in person, so they had no way of crediting it to my church record.

   I started doing this in September 1983, two weeks after my baptism, at age 8 years old, after a loud clear voice from the sky told me too, one day while I was praying. I had asked Bishop Mi (not to be confused with the Bishop Mo of my teen years) about this and he said it was a good thing to do, this paying tithing in secret, and that it had been the Voice of the Holy Ghost which I had heard that day and I should obey it.

   I gave more than half of my income to the church. I barely had enough to buy food when I got done, but I felt better about giving the money. I always remembered the verse about the woman who gave the mite in secret, and how Jesus blessed her, while chiding the wealthy men who gave so little of his wealth, but than went boasting to others how much he had paid. I strived to follow Jesus teaching in this, and thus always gave more than I was asked and always did it in secret. I don’t care how much the church leaders want to accuse me, I know I paid my tithes and I know I did it in the same manner which Jesus taught I should do it, and I also know that they have no right to judge me or falsely accuse me in the manner of which they have done so.

   When I first became homeless in 2006, I went to Bishop H and asked for help. It was the first and only time I had ever gone to the church seeking help. He was a new Bishop so went to Bishop By for advice. He said, the Church welfare program only provide help to members, in the equivalent of how much tithing they had paid in over the years and because I had no record of ever paying tithes, the church could not help me.

   I believe today, that the Voice I had heard all those years ago, was not for me, but for these very church leaders, and that my becoming homeless had a purpose, it was to test their faith to see whether God or Money talked louder for them.

3. What happens if the IRS disallows my contribution to a church, specifically your church?

   I have Autism, I can barely get around addition and counting and you expect me to know the answer to this? Check with your tax accountant. It is my understanding that only contibutions to registered 501.3 non-profit orgs count as a deduction.

   I can tell you I am an individual and not an orginazation and that my church is a tool shed in a rose garden and I have never signed up for any sort of tax cuts or tax breaks or tax evasion statuses, and on years in which I do actually have an income, I pay taxes as a private citizen. So, you can't list me or my church as "giving to a non-profit org", but I think you can list it as "giving to charity", but you'll ask to ask.

4. Do you accept tithes and offerings?

   If you feel the need to pay your tithes and offerings here, than I won't tell you not to.

   I used to pay tithing to churches, as seen in the answers above. But the last time I attempted to paay tithes to a church was in Setember 2010 when I was told by Mormon leaders, to specifically stop paying my tithes to them as they wanted no part of me in their church.

   However I did not ONLY pay tithes to churches, as ONLY in churches are tithes commanded to be paid to the church. The Bible NEVER says to give money to churches. Quite the contray: The Bible says a tith is "To give a tenth of all that you own to the widowed, orphaned, hungry, cold, sick, afflicted, and poor." It goes on to list giving food, clothing, oxen, land, etc. But never once does it say to give money and never once does it say to give anything to a church. This is what I do. This has always been what I have done. And this is what I tell others to do.

Absolution of Sins

1. What is your stance on absolution of sin? Can I get a plenary indulgence from you?

   A what? And a what?

    

   No idea what you are talking about. Sorry. I'll go look up these words, figure out how to pronounce them and find out what they mean, and try to figure out what the heck it is you are asking me, because I have no idea what it is you want to know here. Once I figure out what you are talking about I'll edit this answer.

    ~*is confused*~

   ====================

   EDITED TO ADD:

   ====================

    

   Googled and found this:

   http://www.themonastery.org/?destination=absolutionOfSins

   Okay, so I'm thinking Martin Luther and the 95 Things here. So what you want to know is, do I ask people to pay me money so that I can give them a piece of paper which says their sins are forgiven? Correct?

   Uhm...No...I do not do that.

   If you want to be forgiven of a certain wrong, you must undo the wrong and make it right, and than go to the person whom you have wronged and ask them to forgive you.

   If you yelled at your wife, don't come to me and ask to be forgiven, go to her and ask her to forgive you and than sign up for anger managment classes to make good on your repentance.

   If you stole something from the store, take that item back to the store and ask for the manager's forgiveness.

   If you burned somebody's house down, pay to build them a new house and ask them to forgive you.

   I can not forgive you, because I am not the person you have hurt. God can not forgive you either, because he is also not the one mad at you or hurt by you. There is ONLY ONE PERSON who can forgive your sin, and that is the person whom was hurt by your sin. So don't come to me and ask forgiveness and don't go to God asking for forgiveness either! Go to the person you have wronged and ask them to forgive you.

    

Seminary

1. Do you offer seminary courses or classes?

   Not at this time, no. However, if there is enough demand for it, I may do so in the future.

Mormonism

1. This Category has no FAQ yet

   This Category has no FAQ yet

Pastoral Credentials

1. When and how were you ordained?

   Officially, according to the framed papers on the wall, I was ordained by the Universial Life Church Monastary on May 29, 2009, the Universial Life Church Seminary on September 23, 2010, and several other various non-ULC churches at various dates between those two.

   I couldn't figure out which ULC was the original or "real" ULC, and than since I couldn't figure it out, I just got ordained with both, and a few non ULC places besides, and than every time I find another church that ordains ministers without requiring membership, I get ordained with them as well.  I just sort of started collecting ordination.. I kind of ended up with a whole wall of ordinations from various places.

   I figured, legal wise I've got all my bases covered, and spiritual wise I believe ordination comes from the Spirit anyways.

   I mean I felt the calling to the ministry when I was 8 years old, and I was 9 when I enrolled in Bible Seminary (ministers training) which I did via the mail (a 12 year course) and I don't even know if they knew I was just a kid, because it was a minister's training course, but I was just all fired up and ready to preach (my parents thought I was crazy).

   I was about 14 or 16 when a Holy Roller tent revival came through town, and I went mega-Jesus Freak for a while, casting out demons and being a wild hell fire preacher to any one who would listen and to my pets if no one would listen. There was one day when people were "called up front" to "accept the Lord" and I went running up to the stage and the preacher touch my head and I went, right out of it, totally swept away with this amazing wash of the Spirit, and I actually consider THAT to be the day of my "official" ordination, and my ULC ordination nearly 20 years later was just to cover the state laws.

2. What sort of training did you have?

   I took 12 years of Bible Seminary (including Ancient History of Isreal and Rome). (Calvanist).

   I took 3 years of Bible Seminary focusing on Danial studies (Seventh Day Adventist)

   I studied with Latter Day Saints (Mormons) for 34 years.

   I took part in a 5 year long Holy Roller Pentecostal tent revival.

General Ministry Questions On How to Start a Church or Help for New Ministers

1. May a minister be compelled to reveal any communications with members of the congregation?

   Yes, if such communication involves confession of a crime, or the intent to commit a crime, contray to what the movies tell you, the minister IS REQUIRED by federal law to report to the police any confessions involveing a crime (murder, rape, arson, theft, kidnapping, etc.) In fact, in the real world outside of movies, most criminals are arrested just days after confessing to a minister for that very reason. If the minister does not go to the police with what he knows, he too will be arrested as an assecory after the fact.

2. Can the government ever shut down A Church?

   No. As long as the leaders abide by the laws of the land all churches are fully protected by the First and Fourteenth Amendments of the United States Constitution.

   Now if you are planning to do a Ruby Ridge abd start stock piling guns for the Second Coming of Christ, well, yes, they will shut you down for being a terrorist threat.

   If you plan to do a JonesTown or Heaven's Gate and kill your congregation with laces kool-aid, than yes they will shut you down.

   If you plan to do a Davidian Waco and take children hostage, yes they will shut you down and drop bombs on you.

   The government don't like it when churches go all nut case and start killing off members.

3. Is a Church liable for excise taxes?

   In most cases, no, as a public foundation (churches are not private foundations) and an organized (and registered) non-profit business corperation, a church is not subject to the excise taxes required by Chapter 42 of the Internal Revenue Code, U.S. Title 26, and most states follow the same policy.

   My case is one of the few exceptions. I am not registered. I am not a business. I am not a coperation. I am not open to the general public. I am a minister with a prayer chapel in my garden.

   The church at Laughing Gnome Hollow however IS NOT a public foundation, but a private pray chapel, on private property, for a private family. People are welcomed to come and pray with us, but as this is a private building, and as I am homeless after vandals burned down my house and now living in a tent on said land, there are no public restrooms, no running water, no electricity, because there is actual house or building there is also no home or business or building insurance, because we are right on the beach there is also no property insurance of any kind, I am homeless and incomeless so I have no personal, life, or medical insurance either, when I say there is no insurance on anything, I mean THERE IS NO INSURANCE ON ANYTHING, and none of anything else one would find in a public building, as the "church" itself is a tiny shed only 6 feet long by 3 feet wide by 5 feet tall. Only 2 people can fit inside and only kneeling, not standing.

   The conditions of the PRIVATE PROPERTY land and "church" at Laughing Gnome Hollow, leave it in such a state that it is NOT ELIGIBLE for tax exemption, because I have no money to bring it up to meeting with the requirements to make this a "public" building.

4. I am a minister. The IRS has asked me a list of questions about my congregation and its internal operations. Do I have to answer them? Has this ever happened to you?

   ...Do I have to answer them? Has this ever happened to you?

   Yes, if the IRS asks you any questions, always answer them. Ask your attorney what else you should be doing.

   No, it has not happened to me, but than again, I am just a private citizen with a private prayer chapel in my garden. I am not running a business (most churches are considered, public businesses), my "church" is not open to the general public, and my "regular congregation" consists of myself and 10 cats.

5. You are using a garden shed as a church. Can I use my apartment as my church?

   As far as I know, most states allow you to use just about anything as a meeting place. However, there may be a few exceptions, so I suggest you contact the appropriate authority in your state. Also some towns require building restrictions and fire safty codes which limit the number of people per room, for example in Saco, Maine, no room may hold more than 20 people, this includes churches, schools, colleges, meeting halls, and movie theaters. So be sure to check with all the local laws.

   Also most laws regarding churches assume that said church is on private property owned by the minister or owned by the church (if the church is an organized cooperation or business, which most churches are), and whoever owns the property gets the final say.

   In other words, if the state laws tell you it's okay to have a church in your building, but your landlord says "no businesses" than, no, you can not run your church out of your apartment, because for legal purposes it classifies as a business and you signed an agreement with your landlord stating that you would not run a business in their building. If your lease agreement doesn't specify, than be sure to get permission from your landlord before you start planning your church.

6. If a congregation no longer functions, and no one wants it, who gets the property?

   The law states if an exempt organization ceases to exist, after its just and lawful obligations have been paid and discharged, the remaining funds must be given to another exempt organization. Which is one of the reasons I did not organize a church that is tax exempt and have not founded a public orginization.

   By fileing for tax exemption you are required to give your property to the state and they can than do whatever they please with it, including to through you out and rent the land to another church group. That is how tax examption of property works: you give the government your land and they let you live on it for free until you are no longer a minister or they decide to put a bigger and better church which will attract more tourists on your land and boot you out. In essance all you have done is given your land to the government.

   Tax exemption for churches is not all it is cracked up to be.

7. Is a congregation an extension, or branch, of the "Mother Church"?

   Usually, no. Even though the IRS will try to tell you that you are an extension, this is USUALLY not true. You are an associated church, and are free to make your own laws, rules, regulations, etc.

   In some of the really big organized religions, for example the Mormons and the Catholics, where are strict heirarchy of comand is in place, than yes, because you have no rights as a free citizen, no freedom to make decisions and must simply obey the orders of your task masters, and can be booted out on a whim at any moment without prior notification.

8. Can three of one family organize a congregation?

   Yes. Any three individuals (usually 18 years or older, some states it is as young as 13 and others it is as old as 21, so check your local laws) may band together to organize a congregation, it does not matter if they are family or not.

9. Can the Minister be on the Board of another congregation?

   There are no government rules or regulations on the number of boards an individual may serve. Some church organizations may have restrictions on it though, so be sure to ask before joining.

10. How often does the Board of Directors meet?

    For most churches the general rule is usually once a month. Under certain circumstances, your Board may vote to meet every other month.

    But if you are asking, about my church and my board members. Hmm. Let's see. There is me, and Etiole whom is my spirit guide and whom no one else seems to be able to see or hear, and than there are the ten cats. There is no one else and there are no actual regularly attending members. In other words, I have no board of directors, thus no one to meet with any ways.

Psychic Services

1. Did you do telephone or psychic hot-line readings?

   Yes and no. I have an account with Keen.com as one of their psychic hot-line readers, but I do email-only readings through them and have the phone line deactivated. I dislike doing readings over the phone as I can't get everything into a quick 5 or 10 minute reading. It feels too rushed and not fair to the client. I prefer to take my time and spend an hour or more on a reading, and that just eats up the clients money way to fast when down over the phone.

2. Have you done the psychic fairs circuit?

   Not yet, but I plan to. Watch this site for updates.

3. Do you provide magical coaching services?

   That depends on what you consider magical coaching to be. Some people ask this meaning they want a "life coach" to help them magically, and others ask this meaning they want to be taught how to cast magic spells.

   1) I am an Affirmation Coach, so yes I do some majical coaching in that respect.

   2) At this time I do not teach spell casting and root work. I may decide to in the future, however.

4. Will you read my horoscope?

   No. I do not read horoscopes. My knowledge of astrology is very limited, in fact you probably know more about it than I do!  I do not "consult the stars" or the planets or the moons or comets or asterods or or space stations or whatever else happens to be floating around out there. I'm better versed at astronomy than astrology and I'm not too well verse at that, so that ought to tell you how little I know about astrology!

   Closest thing I can tell you about astrology is this: I am a Cusp Week Leo and a Wood Rabbit, my colors are orange, red, and blue, my stone is peridot and opal. I'm normally mild and meek, quiet like my Rabbit side, but when the moon is high watch out for my fiery tempered lion to appear. I have a creative streak and am attracted to silver, gold, and glitter, but my stubbard nature gets in the way of many things.

   And I can only tell you that because it says so in my copy of Parker's Astrology, and I just quoted it to you.

Altar Work

1. Can you send or show me any pictures of altar work that you have performed for other clients?

   Such pictures will soon be added to this web site. I'll update my answer here, as soon as they have been added to my photo gallery. Keep checking back.

2. If the altar work I hire you to do is not successful, how would you suggest that I proceed next?

   1) I suggest rethinking the situation. The spell did in fact work, but you may not have noticed, because you were looking for a different result than the one you got. Think about what the spell was intended to do. What did you think the spell would do? What did you expect? Were you expecting the spell to change someone? Spells do not change a person's free will. If he did not love you yesterday and you cast a spell today, he's still not going to love you tomorrow. The love has to be there to begin with, the spell is not going to create love, it is only going to unblock whatever is prevent love from blossoming. Were you expecting to win the 50 million dollar Power Ball the next day? Spells do not work that way. Spells do not casue money to rain from heaven. A spell will open your eyes to money making options around you: you will see help-wanted signs, you will gain courage to ask for a raise, did you see the signs and ignore them because you were waiting for a winning Power Ball ticket?

   We look at the spell and try to determin, why it did not work. Usually there is an underlying issue. Did you ask for a love spell to draw you closer to guy #1 but now guy #2 won't stop calling? Are you sure guy #1 is right for you? Is it possible guy #2 really is the man your heart loves? Did you ask for a money spell and than lose your job? Are you sure the lost job was a bad thing? It has opened the road to a new and better job.

   2) At the client's request we can try something different. I do not do "Double Power" or "Triple Power" spells. I've seen a lot of online spell casters offer spells of varying power degrees, saying that if the $50 spell don't work, try my $100 double power spell, and if that don't work than get my $150 triple power spell. Some even ofer 5xpower spells or 7xpower spells! The only thing different about those spells in the price you pay for them. It is not the power of the spell that has doubled, only the price tag doubled. Please do not be fooled by people offering such spells: they are scam artists. If the spell did not work the first time, it is not going to work the second, third, or seventh times either.

   When I say we can try something different, I mean as mentione above, there is usually an underlying issue. Maybe you need an cut&clear spell to cut old ties with old lovers, before you can move on to new love.

   3) Our energies may not be in tune with one anothers. Maybe I'm just not the right rootworker for you. This is okay. It happens. It doesn't mean there was anything wrong with the spell, it just was not right for you. It does not mean there was anything wrong with you either, it just means you need something different in your case. The client is perfectly welcmomed to seek the advice of a different rootworker.

3. I want to set up an altar, but things like mortar & pestle and athame and even the altar itself are so exspensive. What if I don't have the money to just buy everything I want or need? What do I do?

   When you say mortar & pestle and athame, I know you are talking about an Alister Crowley Golden Dawn Altar, the book-bell-and candle altar that was invented by Alister Crowley in 1951, the same time he CREATED Wicca. Unfortunatly many teenagers proudly call Wicca the world's oldest religion not knowing that in fact it is less than 60 years old. Pity, they do not look up the history of it before they joined. Wicca, was a sex cult created in 1951, it involved building covens, each coven lead by a MALE priest, and each coven had 12 FEMALE followers/members. The women were required to be nude at all coven ceramonies and, where initiated through a ritual of "sacred sex" before an altar. The altar was laid out in a very specific set up, to charge the coven with high sexual energies. Each of the items on the altar had a very specific retual, the mortar & pedistal were for grinding sexually enhancing herbs to sprinkle on the 12 naked women sitting in front of the priest. The 2 knives were used in an elaborate dance ritual around the naked women. The candles in the star were meant to call up Satan. Yes, Satan. Wicca as it was formed by Alister Crowly was all about elaborate high rituals around his specifically laid out altar, wild sex orgies, and worshing Satan. It is because of Crowley's original coven that people today hear the word "wicca" and automatically think "Satan worship", because originally Satan worship IS what Wicca was.

   I have to ask, is that REALLY the type of altar you want to build? Before you start changing your life all willy nilly and jump in and start building altars you might want to do a quick background check about what you are getting into. Sure all your teenage friends are doing it, but did THEY look up the history of this type of altar before they jumped the band wagon?

   Now I have to ask, if you even KNOW what an altar is or why you should have one? Since you are clearly describing a Wiccan altar, and in the 21st century when most people use a Wiccan altar they generally have no knowledge of Crowley and is Sex Cult that created the altar, I am going to assume you are of the modern day "Teenage Witch" variety of Wicca...the nature loving flower child of the 1990's who grew up on Charmed and is really far more Celtic Witch and Druid than they are Wicca.

   Witches and Druids are not Wiccans and they date back to pre-Christian Britania (England, Ierland, Wales, and Scotland). There is no evidance that they used altars at all, which is not surprising, especially considering that altars are a Middle Eastern tradition and were brought to Europe by the Christian Romans and the Catholic Saints of Mesopotamia and Persia.

   Now we must ask the question: What IS an altar? An altar is a prayer table. They were invented by the ancient Hebrews. Originally they were large flat stones, stacked into a mound over a fire pit. A sheep was tied down to the stone and a fire was lit in the pit. Hallucinaagetic herbs were tossed into the fire and God would soon apear in the flames. The preist than recited a long chanting prayer while cerimonially disecting the sheep (keeping it alive for many hours) and using it's entrails to "read the words of God". This is how the Old Testment Books of the Bible were written. The "word of God" was one preist's translation of what he saw in the gut of a dying sheep. Each preist saw something different, which is why there are so many contradictions as to what God says and does in the Bible. After the sheep was dead, the preist would strip down naked and use two knives to pretend to slaughter himself with, followed by circumsising himself and any other male in the area. He would than toss the sheep in the fire and when nothing but ashes remained, he would spit and piss in the ash to make a mud pack, which he would than coat his body with. Only a preist was allowed to use an altar. (All of this, comes from the Book of Leviticus by the way and the Bible gives step by step instructions on how to do it.) It is from the Bible that Alister Crowly based his Wiccan Altar on, everything from the 2 knives to the incense and candles and grinding stones, it's all there in the Book of Leviticus. Enoch of the Bible also used these altars. In Medival Times the Enochain Alchemists used the Bible and the Book of Enoch and the Quaballa to create Enochian Magic, which is widely regarded as the most powerful and most dangerous form of magic there is, as well as being the most difficult to learn, requiring decades of study and practice to get right.

   In Asia around the same time, altars were also being invented. Again, they were prayer tables, but much less bloody than the pray tables of the God of Abraham. The Asian altars were a small wooden table, on which was placed an altar cloth (usually red or orange) and candles and religious icons. Each house would have it's own altar, usually in it's own room, and some would have an additional altar in their garden. Each day at certain specified times, the family would kneel before the altar and pray. Some people had "pocket altars" tiny wooden boxes, contaning a religious statue and a candle, which they carried in their pocket during travel.

   In the Middle Ages, the Catholics began to use the Asian altars, changing them. These altars were large wooden tables covered in embroidered cloth, decorated with statues of Mary, Jesus, and Saints. A person would light a candle, place it on the altar, and than pray for forgiveness of their sins. Each church would have a huge altar in it and members were encouraged to have small altars in their homes, most houses in this time period included a famiy chapel, which was a romm with an altar and a few pews, so that the family could have Sunday services at home. (Weekly Sunday services at a church had not yet been invented - services were held once per month until the mid 1600's).

   The witch's altar would not should up until the mid-1700's, with the arrival of Slave Voodoo on the plantations. Hoodoo is a Scottish word dateing back to the 1300's and means "haunted" or "supernatural" or "magic". Vodun is an African religion, dating back over 10,000 years BC, and involved worshiping Dambala-Wedo (The One God) and his servents the Lwa (The Spirit Messangers of God or The Lesser Gods). Vodun is the oldest know recorded religion and pre-dates the Genisis story of the 7-Day Creation, by more than 4,000 years. Voodoo was created when Scottish Hoodoo Witch Doctors taught the African slaves Celtic Magic arts, the same time while Christian preachers were trying to convert the slaves to Catholicism. The word Voodoo was the combining of the words Hoodoo and Vodun. Voodoo takes the Vodun religion, adds Scottish Hoodoo Witch Doctor magic, and than throws in Catholic saints, prayers, and altars. From this we got the original "Witch's Altar" or the first time in history when witches started using altars.

   The traditional witch's altar, as used in Voodoo, is a wooden table that does double duty. It is first a work station, where herbs are cut, candles are rolled, oils are mixed, dolls are sewn, etc. Than it is cleaned up, a cloth thrown over it, and candles, statues of Mary and Jesus, and letters (written prayer requests aka spells) placed on top. The letters would be burned with the candles so that the smoke would carry the spell/prayer request to the angels/lwa who would than carry it to Dambala-Wedo/God. Later when clients would come requesting psychic work (cards read, bones thrown, crystal divination, etc) the Voodoo witch doctor would use this same table to lay the cards out on, or toss the bones on to, or set up their crystal ball on.

   And so, there you have it, altars in a nutshell.

   Now when people, like you, come to me asking about how to set up their altar and they start describing Alester Crowly's Golden Dawn Satan worshiping, sex orgie, Wiccan altar, I tell them to back off and back off fast. Why? Because that Altar was specifically designed for calling up the Grigory, aka the Four Watchers. It is a powerful and dangerous thing to call upon these, the four Avenging Angels who wipped out Sodam andGomorha. (Again, Crowly was drawing on the Bible here). However, and this is a BIG however, Crowly was NOT well versed in Enochain Magic (which is what this is. This is NOT Celtic Pagan magic - PLEASE do better research into these rituals before you start spouting off that they come from Ireland!) Crowly's Golden Dawn altar is wrong - he reversed everything. This is Enochian Alchemist magic: you take symbols and placement of obcets and use high rituals to call on the help of God's angels, or reverse their order and put the symbols upside down, to call on the help of Satan's angels. Crowly designed the Golden Dawn altar not to call up the Holy Watchers of God, but rather the Unholy Watchers of Satan. Wither you know it or not, you are getting into very, very, very dark magic here when you start useing a Golden Dawn altar for your magic work. This sort of magic must be done VERY carefully, only by Maji's whom have studyied the Enochain language of angels for decades, and used VERY sparingly. You should never, never, never, ever go into this sort of magic without knowing what it is or how to use it, because you are dealing with calling up angels and demons and if you are not careful you can quickly lose control and end up possessed or worse people could get seriously hurt, even die. I can not stress enough, how much you SHOULD NOT be useing this type of an altar.

    

4. So what do I do? I want an altar, how do I make one? What do I need? How did you make yours? What do you do?

   My own altar is a tree stump I brought back from the swamp. It is covered in moss from years of rot. It has many uses: during meditation/prayer sessions it is my seat - yes, I sit ON the altar to pray, the shape of it is perfect for lotus postition and the thick moss makes a wwonderful cushion (and if you look at the photos of me on this site, you will see me sitting on it in most of them); during a reading I lay my cards out on it; divination sessions are done here too, as are candle prayers, and pretty much everything else. As it is outdoors in my garden, when I am not using it, I cover it with birdseed and let the birds, mice, chipmunks, and squirrals eat off of it.

   I have no altar cloth, when I need one I just take off one of my kimono and throw it over the altar. I have no statues on it, don't need them. I own no cerimonial knives, don't believe in them. My icons are Catholic prayer cards of Jesus, which I glued to cardboard and than dipped in glitter and decorated with rhinestones - each one cost less than $3 to make. My prayer beads are a cheap plastic children's rosary given to me by a nun who was walking around handing them out to people.

   The altar is under an arbor, which has vines growing up it, on the arbor over the altar hangs bird feeders, bird houses, wind chimes, and suncatchers. The altar itself sits in a circle of ever green trees - 7 trees planted by me nearlt 30 years ago - which makes up my permanent sacred circle, which also never needs opening or closing, and in the center of which is where the faeries, angels, and spirit guides I talk to, appear. This spot was chosen because it is a natural circle, a faerie ring, and the site of the first sighting of Etiole nearly 40 years ago. The faerie ring is a ring of giant (some over a foot across the top) white mushrooms which grow here and is a circle that spreads about 13 feet in diameter.

   My altar is not connected to any religion or theology or tradition or ritual, it is all about nature, conecting to the universe, peace, quiet, contemplation, prayer, meditation, and connecting with the spirit world.

   You can see may altar right there behind me, on the background photo on this FAQs page. See it? I'm standing there (or rather walking by) wearing my blue Kente and just behind me on the ground is a big old stump? Well that's it, that's my altar. The antique Kente cost me $200, the altar did not cost me a penny. 

The Candle Ministry

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Affirmation Ministry

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Meditation

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Prayer Requests

1. What could I be doing at home in combination with your prayers to improve the chances that my aims and goals will be achieved?

   There are several things that can hamper the power of a spell: smoking, drugs, drunkardness, over eating, eating non-healthy foods, laziness, uncleanliness, too much TV, to name a few. I always recommend that for my clients to get the best results, they need to clear their life of these things: quite smoking, quite doing drugs, quite drinking, cut down on how much you eat, get more excersice, turn off the tv, bath before going to bed, eat frsh fruit, drink 4 glasses of water a day. I'm not talking about doing these things some day: do them now, cold turkey. You can do it, just quit.

   Why? Because my spells call on the help of angels and faeries and nature spirits, and they will not come to your aid if you stink of smoke, reeck of body odar, are drunk, etc. And why should they waste their time coming to you, if you are just going to sit there glued to the TV and never know they were there? It's about respect. You respect them and they will help you.

   Now they are not going to deny you help, if you do these things, but you will get less help. The help you receive willl be equal to the respect they recieve from you. The most respectful you are, the more they will invite other angels and faeries to come join them in helping you, and the more powerful the spell becomes.

   So I ask, my clients to clear up their personal lives before asking for spell work to be done, to ensure the best possible results.

   That said, I do all of my spell work in tandem. Spell casting is a two-way street. There is me doing the sending and you doing the recieving. This is not a spectator's sport. This means that while I'm at my altar lighting my candle, you are also at your altar (or desk if you've no altar) lighting your own candle. I will pray over and bless your baby doll, and than I will mail it to you with a written prayer for you to pray over it. It does no good for me to cast a spell from my end, if you are not activly recieving it on your end. If I just cast the spell, it's going to disperse around you and some of it's energy will cling to you, but most of it will drift away in the wind. You have to be prepared to openly recieve the spell's energy. So when I cast a spell or do altar work for you, you are not just sitting home doing nothing, you will have recieved instructions and nessacary items and you will be doing some minor spell and altar work on your end as well.

Working with Spirit Guides

1. Are Animals Our Spirit Guides?

   (This answer came from a blog post written  December 1, 2008 - the day after Buddy's death. Buddy, like all the rest of my 500+ pets whom have died in the past 36 years, is buried here at Laughing Gnome Hollow.)

   I currently have 12 cats and 40+ birds (I lost count of them). Right now I have the least amount of pets I've ever had in my life, there was one point when there were over 200 pets at one time. All together over the years I've had more than 500 pets.

   I am for the first time in my life with out a dog. My Buddy died yesterday. He was 13 years old, which if he had been a Human would have made him 97 years old. I've had him since he was just 6 months old. I still had Junior back than.

   A question I am constantly asked is "How can you have so many animals? Don't you just want to get rid of them?" My answer is always the same: "Would YOU get rid of YOUR babies? These pets are more than just animals to me; they are like children to me. I would never get rid of any of them. I dare you suggest such a thing!" Each and every one of them has a name and each has a unique personality. All of them are loved dearly. I wouldn't have my life any other way.

   Are they my spirit guides? Maybe. Don't know. They are my friends and adopted members of my family, of that much I am certain. They certainly help me to learn countless lessons in life and in that respect I suppose you could call them spirit guides.

   I did however, just tell you my thoughts on the matter, more or less, in the last question though. My answer to this one is pretty much the same.

   I do believe that the animals guide us on our journey through life and have been our spiritual guides in past lives and shall continue to be our guides in the next life. Animals are different than people, they have a stronger connection with nature, and thus a stronger connection with the spirit world. It is for this very reason, that people with strong spiritual connections often also have was is called Animal Magnetism. Animals are attracted to and less afraid of Humans with a high connection to the spirit world. Like wise, it is why animals naturally fear certain people. The less spiritual the person is, the more fearful animals are of them.

   I have Animal Magnetism to the extreme, Buddy is a perfect example of that. Buddy was a mean, aggressive dog, whom no one could get near. Three different vets, refused to take him as a patient and said the only thing they would do would be to put him to sleep. They called him an extremely dangerous animal, and he was a puppy, just 6 months old. That is how I ended up with him. No body else wanted him. No body else could touch him. No body else could even get close to him. With me, Buddy was as gentle as a new born lamb. Buddy as it turned out was a "bird dog". Not a hunting dog, but a dog who played mother hen to every bird he saw. He loved birds. This fierce growling monster, was the gentle adoptive mother hen, to 3 generations of baby chickens, and for many years had a pet rooster (Chup-Chup) who followed Buddy every where and often rode around on Buddy's back. Once I lost a hen, and since she was gone for many days, I assumed a fox had taken her. A month later, however she returned. The odd thing was, that Buddy now took to heading to my rose bushes and staying there all day long. Not too odd, as this was where Buddy stashed things away. If Buddy was in my roses, Buddy was likely burying a tennis ball or some magazine he'd taken out of the trash. Every once in a while I'd find missing books, chewed up and buried under my roses. What was odd, was that he was now spending all day, under the rose bush, so I checked to see why and I found: a loaf of bread, some chewed up newspapers, several paper back books he'd snuck off my book shelf and chewed to shreds, and 4 baby chickens, about 2 weeks old, whom Buddy was taking care of. This was the ferocious monster every one was scared of, this dog who was taking care of 4 baby roosters.

   Like wise, Buddy loved cats. Nothing made Buddy happier than to tuck in at night with my army of cats all sleeping on top of him. Buddy never did get over his fierce aggressiveness, and no Human could dare even think about coming between Buddy and his roosters or Buddy and his cats.

   Buddy is not a lone example. I raise feral cats. Wild cats who would tear your arm off and chew up your face. Fierce violent cats, raised in the wild, whom have never felt the touch of a human hand and never will because no one can get close to them. Cats, whom shelters put to sleep because it takes years to tame them and even than they never fully tame. And yet, not one of these cats acts like this towards me. They curl up on my lap and sing and purr. On two separate occasions, I gained an extra cat, because I woke up one day with a new feral cat asleep on my pillow (keeping in mind here that I'm homeless and sleep out doors). These cats, come and live with me. They do not fear me, as the fear others, nor do they show aggression towards me, like they do others. The strong spirit connection between me and not just my animals, but all animals in general, can not be over stated.

   Animals are on a spirit journey just like the rest of us. They come to this world from one before it, and they leave it to move on to the next one, and in each one they seek out those whom they've known and loved in the past. If an animal suddenly follows you home and tries to live with you, you should welcome it, because chance are good that you and he were once spirit companions in another plain of existence, and he sought you out in this one, to spend another life time with you once again. I believe that the more past lives you have had together, the stronger your connection becomes in each life forward.

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Working with Angels

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Working with Faeries

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Readings

1. What first attracted you to Tarot?

   I am NOT a Tarot reader.  

   I have never been attracted to Tarot. I find it kind of off-puting. No idea why. I don't dislike it or anything, I just have no interest in it at all. If you are looking for a Tarot reader you have come to the wrong place, sorry.

2. Have you read for a free organisation like Tabi or the ATA?

   Nope. I actually have never heard of either place. Sorry.

3. Do you read through your own personal website?

   Yes, I do, and that is most likely where you are right now otherwise you would not be reading this.

   Please see THIS PAGE & THIS PAGE for more info. Or check out my Current Reading Listings on my Esty Shop.

4. Which Tarot decks do you use?

   I have no Tarot decks, at all. I use oracle decks, angel decks, pony/horse/unicorn decks, mermaid decks, and faerie decks. Most are by Doreen Virture.

5. How many cards decks in total you own and which are your favourites and how do you determin which deck you will use for my reading?

   At the moment I have 9 decks and the collection will keep growing over time. I use the Unicorn, Mermaid, Faerie Ring, and Guardian Angel Messages decks the most often, and they are my favorites which is why I use them the most. Faerie Messages, Spirit Wheel, and Angel Messages decks get used a lot too.

   Usually I allow the client to pick which cards they want me to do the reading from.

   In a big reading like my "Lucky 7 Life Reading" I mixe 2, 3, 4, 5 or even as many as all 9 decks into one huge stack.

   If you want to see pictures of which cards I have and use or if you are looking to buy a deck of you own, I'm going to provide you with a list on the Amazon links to them. Here they are in the order of which I use them from most to least:

   Magical Unicorn Oracle Cards

    Magical Mermaids and Dolphin Oracle Cards

    Archangel Oracle Cards

    Magical Messages from the Fairies Oracle Cards

    The Fairy Ring: An Oracle of the Fairy Folk

    Spirit of the Wheel Meditation Deck

    Daily Guidance from Your Angels Oracle Cards

    Messages From Your Angels Cards

    Healing With The Angels Oracle Cards

6. How often do you recommend I have a reading?

   I know some people think they need a weekly reading. You don't. Any reader that tells you to come back every week is probably more interested in your money than helping you. A good answer is about every 3 months or when there is a ‘big’ decision or change in your life coming up. It's up to you really, but I would recommend no more than one reading per month.

7. Which card is usually known as the wish card?

   Ah! You are asking a trick question and trying to test me.   

   I have never studied Tarot on any level so I had to Google your question to find out that the answer is the 9 of Cups.

   Please, try to refrain from asking me Tarot related questions, because as I've already mentioned (several times) I am not a Tarot reader.

8. What would be a good psychic reading?

   One that provides a combination of advice and insight.

   One that inspires and brings hope.

   One that observes free will and individual power to change.

   One that notes individual talents and aptitudes.

   One that offers support of self examination while not being pushy.

9. Do you prescribe spiritual supplies for the people you read for?

   Prescribe is not the word I would use. Recommend or suggest is more the correct term. However not as part of a reading, no. When you pay for a reading, you pay for a reading. I'm not going to give you a sales-pitch about oils and powders and call it a reading. Readers who do that are scam artists. If you come to me and ask: "I have such-and-such problem, what can I do about it?" than I might say, "Well, there is a prayer for that, which uses such-and-such herbal blend...", but as part of youe reading? Never!

10. Do you teach spell-casting or do magical coaching with your reading clients?

    Not at this time. Ask me again later.

11. Are you able to seperate your own morality from a reading? I need guidance but do not wish to be judged.

    I understand that life is not black and white, that matters of the heart are not always as clearly defined as right and wrong. Everyone makes mistakes, it is not the end of the world. I am here to provide my clients with Christ-like love and emotional support. Sometimes our lives, choices and paths guide us in a way that may seem wrong to some, and for this it can be hard to seek enlightenment, for there is an element of fear of judgement. I do not base my readings and advice on my own opinions and morality, but rather the energies and influences that are shaping the situation. If I receive guidance that I cannot help or set my own feelings aside I provide a full refund and do not perform the reading, but so far I have never had to do this.

Divination

1. How long have you been professionally practicing divination for clients?

   I have been practicing divination with marbles since the late 1970's, adding beach pebbles to the mix in the 1980's and later sea shells, but I did not make a "business" out of it until the late 1990's and it was not until 2009 that I actually started doing it professionally as a sorce of income.

2. I am a green witch and want to know if there is a way to check our stones and where they are mined and how so we can get pure stones free of neg energy; can you help?

   I collect all on my stones from nature (never buy them and never dig for them) and out of natural water, usually a mountain brook or the ocean. I will walk on the beach and the waves will drop a stone in my path and I'll know that it's energy is right for me otherwise it would not have chosen to land at my feet.

   The ocean is the best way to cleanse negative energy out of anything. It purifies and nutralizes negative energy. If you have access to the ocean, take your stones to the water and wash them. Be careful if your stones are particually valuable though because the force of the oceans waves can swipe it out of your hand and carry hundrads of feet away before you will even realize it is out of your hand. It may be best to keep the stones in a netting laundrey bag. Stones are amazingly slippery when wet and very hard to hold on to.

   Clear mountain streams are the second best way to purify your stones.

   Other methods include placing them in a bowl of spring water, a bowl od sea salt, or a bowl of spring water with sea salt disolved in it, and place the bowl on a windowsil during the night of a full moon.

   Burying the stone under the roots of a tree on the night of a full moon, than digging it back up on the next full moon is another method.

   As I said I prefer the ocean, but that does require you live near the ocean. If the ocean is not near by try one of the other methods instead.

   As for a dirrect answer to your question. It is possible in some cases to trace the sorce of your stone.

   Some stones can be identified by type. If your stone is rare, say a REAL mined ruby (as opposed to a GENUINE lab created ruby). REAL rubies are among the rarest stones in the world, and you would have to be a millionaire to be able to afford even a small one which would cost you upwards of $30,000 a caret for a badly flawed one. REAL rubies have only been found in mines that are deep below volcanes in India. Because of the varying minerals found at each mine, each mine produces a different color ruby. Pigeon Blood Rubies ALL come from the same mine for example, while brownish red rubies all come from a differant mine.

   GENUINE rubies on the other hand are ALL lab created. They are not fakes rubies, as their chemical make up is identical to REAL rubies. The ONLY differeance between a $30,000 a caret REAL ruby and a $20 a caret GENUINE ruby is that the REAL ruby was dug out of the ground and the GENUINE ruby was born in a laboratory.

   The rarer the stone the easier it is to trace it's oragin. However even more common stones such as turquiose, can be traced back to their sorce. Stones from Arizona are blue while stones from China a green, for example. Some mines produce "flawless" stones while other mines produce stones with a brown mottle or vein in them.

   If you know which type of stone comes from which mine, you can examine your stone and determin if it has the coloration and patterns typical of stones from that mine.

   The more common the stone however the harder the sorce is to trace. Quartz for example is every where. Most countries in the world have it. You can't really tell where it comes from unless it has a unique trait found only in certain regions.

   The alternative is to ask the dealer you bought it from, where they bought it from. Some may be reluctant to give out their wholesaler's name, but most will at least tell you which country the stone was shipped from. Once you know the country of oragin, you can search that country for regions where the stone is common, and go from there. This may give you an exact location or mine or it may just tell you a general area.

   Over all, tracing your stones to their source can be a difficult matter and can take a lot of work to do.

Psychic Credentials

1. Do you belong to a professional association that requires readers to abide by a code of ethics?

   At this moment I do not belong to any sort of professional association, organization, or group of readers, no. Though I am looking into a few of the ones out there, and considering joining one, should one meet my needs. I'll let you know if I join one in the future.

   On the other hand I do have a Code of Ethics which I abide by.

2. I have been burned by unethical psychics before. How do I know you are different?

   I am different in many ways, from the standard psychic. For one thing I do not claim to be psychic, but rather a channeler of energy. Secondly I am a Christian and my methods are quite unique as a result of this. Thirdly I have Autism, making me very unique among normal people and psychics alike.

   I understand the apprehension of opening up to a psychic reader. In order to help visitors get an understanding of who I am and what I have to offer, I have created an extensive About Me section where you can learn about my personal and professional experiences. I have written an article on Pastoral, Spiritual, Psychic, Hoodoo, Rootworks & Spell Casters Code of Ethics in order to help people protect themselves from fraudulent individuals. A good reader will have a similar Code of Ethics which they use and abide by. Beware of anyone working in spiritual or magical matters, who does not have a Code of Ethics which they use, for you to read.

3. How long have you been professionally practicing psychic readings for clients?

   I have been practicing card reading since the late 1970's, originally with Lotto, Memory, and Garbage Pail Kid Cards! LOL!

   I did not make a "business" out of it until the late 1990's and it was not until 2009 that I actually started doing it professionally as a sorce of income.

4. Can you provide me with any references from among your clients?

   Maine has a client confedenciality law which does not allow me to tell you who my clients are. If at some point in the future I had clients who were willing to be used as "referances" to new clients, I will keep such a list, but at the moment, I have no clients willing to publically admit they seek magical councel, or willing to meet with strangers regardeing such matters. You must understand that I am a VERY controversial person (Google me) and many people do not wish to admit to being my clients or are afraid to let their friends and family know they have ever had contact with me.

Spell Casting, Hoodoo, & Root-work

1. How and when did you first hear about hoodoo rootwork?

   I'm afraid the words "hoodoo" and "rootwork" are both new to me. This surprises people seeing as I am so well versed in both, and as I have nearly 40 years of experiance doing them. But it is true, I had never heard either the words "hoodoo" or "rootwork" prior to 2010.

2. How long have you been professionally practicing hoodoo, rootwork or conjure doctoring for clients?

   I have been practicing hoodoo, rootwork, and conjure doctoring since the late 1970's. I specialized originally in healing poppets for pets. I became a professional doll maker in 1983, but did not start selling Voodoo Dolls, Mojos, JuJus, Wangas, or Gris-Gris to the public until 2009.

   Voodoo Dolls are my specialty. I make them both as Art Dolls for collectors and as Mojo Dolls for spell casting, altar work, prayers, and meditation. But I also do Spell Botles, Prayer Jars, Wishing Boxes, Mirror Boxes, Honey Jars, and the like.

   As yet I have not made a Wanga (nzambie death doll - the "evil" Voodoo Dollss seen in Hollywood movies), for the public, and in fact rarely ever make Wangas at all, it has to be an extreme situation requiring dire messures before I will make a Wanga Doll.

3. What kinds of hoodoo spell-casting cases have you handled successfully in the past?

   Protection spells, banishing spells, cutting ties spells, and reconciliation spells, are the ones I have had the best results from.

4. Do you work according to the precepts of a particular religion, and if so, which one? (I wish to engage a practitioner who will not go against my own religious, moral, and spiritual training and beliefs.)

   Sort of yes and sort of no. I am a Christian, so everything I do is done "In the name of Jesus" and if you are uncomfortable with that phrase being used, than I am probably not the right rootworker for you to be working with. I do not however require my clients to be Christians.

   Here are a few things you might want to know before you work with me:

   I am accepting of all religions, both Christian and non-Christian.

   I was raised a Mormon and I still identify myself as Mormon.

   I was taught many things by my Native American and Seventh Day Adventist grandmother.

   I attended a Calvinist Bible Seminary.

   I've frequented many Pentacostal tent revivals.

   I love Liberace. No really, I'm madly in love with the guy. I'd marry him. That's why I'm not married. I'll marry him in the next life.

   I believe in angels, faeries, aliens, and UFOs.

   I channel and talk to said angels, faeries, aliens, and UFOs.

   I am a vegetarian animal rights activist.

   I am against war and for peace, but I also support the American soilders in their fight to defend the freedom of all mankind.

   Some of my best friends in the world are gay, transvestites, and drag queens and I support their right to marry, and as an ordained minister will marry same sex couples.

   My grandfather helped in the founding of a famous UFO suicide cult that offed themselves with laced kool-aid.

   And I have Autism.

5. How long do you think I should have to wait before I can see results from your spell casting or altar work if we are going to have positive movement in my case?

   You will see results when the time is right. I place no time on results as each case is different. Some spells may see results instantly, while others my take several months to manifest. There was once a woman, angry because her spell had not come to pass, but than two years later she told me it finally did, and that she had realized there were other events which had to take place before she was ready to recieve the spell. I do not garuntee over night results. I do not guaruntee results next week, next month, or even next year, but I do garuntte results, if you are patient and your body's energy is ready to accept them.

6. What could I be doing at home in combination with your rootwork to improve the chances that my aims and goals will be achieved?

   There are several things that can hamper the power of a spell: smoking, drugs, drunkardness, over eating, eating non-healthy foods, laziness, uncleanliness, too much TV, to name a few. I always recommend that for my clients to get the best results, they need to clear their life of these things: quite smoking, quite doing drugs, quite drinking, cut down on how much you eat, get more excersice, turn off the tv, bath before going to bed, eat frsh fruit, drink 4 glasses of water a day. I'm not talking about doing these things some day: do them now, cold turkey. You can do it, just quit.

   Why? Because my spells call on the help of angels and faeries and nature spirits, and they will not come to your aid if you stink of smoke, reeck of body odar, are drunk, etc. And why should they waste their time coming to you, if you are just going to sit there glued to the TV and never know they were there? It's about respect. You respect them and they will help you.

   Now they are not going to deny you help, if you do these things, but you will get less help. The help you receive willl be equal to the respect they recieve from you. The most respectful you are, the more they will invite other angels and faeries to come join them in helping you, and the more powerful the spell becomes.

   So I ask, my clients to clear up their personal lives before asking for spell work to be done, to ensure the best possible results.

   That said, I do all of my spell work in tandem. Spell casting is a two-way street. There is me doing the sending and you doing the recieving. This is not a spectator's sport. This means that while I'm at my altar lighting my candle, you are also at your altar (or desk if you've no altar) lighting your own candle. I will pray over and bless your baby doll, and than I will mail it to you with a written prayer for you to pray over it. It does no good for me to cast a spell from my end, if you are not activly recieving it on your end. If I just cast the spell, it's going to disperse around you and some of it's energy will cling to you, but most of it will drift away in the wind. You have to be prepared to openly recieve the spell's energy. So when I cast a spell or do altar work for you, you are not just sitting home doing nothing, you will have recieved instructions and nessacary items and you will be doing some minor spell and altar work on your end as well.

7. What can I do to make the spell work faster?

   Pray. Meditate. Recite posative affirmations. Give the spell lots of energy. The most important part of a spell is the energy that YOU bring to it. Your intentions will determine how well it succeeds. That's why it's best to cast all your spells yourself, because no one cares more about your spell than you do. And this is why I do all my spell casting in tandem. I realize it can be difficult to know what to do on your own, that is why I will do it WITH you.

8. If the spell casting I hire you to do is not successful, how would you suggest that I proceed next?

   1) I suggest rethinking the situation. The spell did in fact work, but you may not have noticed, because you were looking for a different result than the one you got. Think about what the spell was intended to do. What did you think the spell would do? What did you expect? Were you expecting the spell to change someone? Spells do not change a person's free will. If he did not love you yesterday and you cast a spell today, he's still not going to love you tomorrow. The love has to be there to begin with, the spell is not going to create love, it is only going to unblock whatever is prevent love from blossoming. Were you expecting to win the 50 million dollar Power Ball the next day? Spells do not work that way. Spells do not casue money to rain from heaven. A spell will open your eyes to money making options around you: you will see help-wanted signs, you will gain courage to ask for a raise, did you see the signs and ignore them because you were waiting for a winning Power Ball ticket?

   We look at the spell and try to determin, why it did not work. Usually there is an underlying issue. Did you ask for a love spell to draw you closer to guy #1 but now guy #2 won't stop calling? Are you sure guy #1 is right for you? Is it possible guy #2 really is the man your heart loves? Did you ask for a money spell and than lose your job? Are you sure the lost job was a bad thing? It has opened the road to a new and better job.

   2) At the client's request we can try something different. I do not do "Double Power" or "Triple Power" spells. I've seen a lot of online spell casters offer spells of varying power degrees, saying that if the $50 spell don't work, try my $100 double power spell, and if that don't work than get my $150 triple power spell. Some even ofer 5xpower spells or 7xpower spells! The only thing different about those spells in the price you pay for them. It is not the power of the spell that has doubled, only the price tag doubled. Please do not be fooled by people offering such spells: they are scam artists. If the spell did not work the first time, it is not going to work the second, third, or seventh times either.

   When I say we can try something different, I mean as mentione above, there is usually an underlying issue. Maybe you need an cut&clear spell to cut old ties with old lovers, before you can move on to new love.

   3) Our energies may not be in tune with one anothers. Maybe I'm just not the right rootworker for you. This is okay. It happens. It doesn't mean there was anything wrong with the spell, it just was not right for you. It does not mean there was anything wrong with you either, it just means you need something different in your case. The client is perfectly welcmomed to seek the advice of a different rootworker.

   Remember too, that you must clear all negative energy out of your heart and soul. The most important part of a spell is the energy that YOU bring to it. Your intentions will determine how well it succeeds. That's why it's best to cast all your spells yourself, because no one cares more about your spell than you do.  This is WHY I will only do spells in tandem. What YOU do and BELIEVE is far more powerful than what I do and believe. Be certain that you are putting only good posative energy into your thoughts, heart, and soul.

9. Do you believe in spell casting and Voodoo?

   ~Yes, of course! Spells are prayers with a new name, nothing less and nothing more. People often put my faith in the power of spells than they do in the power of prayer, thus why spells have a better track record than prayers, but both are powered by faith of the believer.

   I use spells as a form of prayer and meditation, with a goal of healing and helping others.

   I believe the power of a spell is not so much the spell in and of itself, but rather the faith of the person(s) involved.

   When Jesus healed people he always said "Your faith has made you whole."

   Faith is a difficult thing for many people, because putting faith in something they can not see causes them to have doubts. This is where spells come in, and yes, even Jesus used them. Remember the blind man, whom Jesus TRIED to heal? His faith was not strong enough for him to be healed just by hearing Jesus' words, so Jesus put mud in the man's eyes and suddenly the man, believing Jesus had done something that could heal him, was healed and could see.

   The man did not have enough faith to be healed without the help of a spell.

   In my own spells I use poppets (Voodoo Dolls) and candles. Normally I would ask people to pray for healing, but often they say: "But I've already tried that, I need something more powerful than prayer, I need a spell cast." In such cases (which are often) I provide the person with a little handheld sized rag doll, which I make just for them, using "color magic" meanings to match the doll to their need. The dolls are made out of various items and filled with whatever herbs and roots are needed for the particular spell. I write up a "spell chant" and give them a matching colored candle. They are than instructed to do the following:

   Each night before bed, light the candle, than while holding the doll, repeat these words 15 times. Blow out the candle and go to bed, knowing all will be well in the morning.

   I tell them to do this for as many nights as they deem it nessacary.

   The spell chant always starts with the phrase: "My Father which art in Heaven hallowed be thy name." and always ends with the phrase: "And this I say, believing without a doubt that it shall come to pass, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." The word in between the beginning and end are a prayer request, custom tailored to what they are asking for.

   I find that doing this, people get "amazing results" (so they tell me), unfortunately than some people start saying I'm a "powerful Voodoo witch", but fact of the matter, is I did nothing other than to provide them with a way to focus their faith! It was their own faith that allowed them to receive "amazing results", not anything I did!

   I created a new type of spell which I call: "The Ring of Thorns" or "The Hedge of Thorns", a protection spell used to prevent harm, when one is under attack by hate crimes, when one's spouse is the victim of another's flirtations, or for loved ones gone to war.

   This spell is done, again with a poppet to represent the person in need of protection. I braid a crown of thorns out of Hawthorn, Rose, and Blackberry branches, line the inside of it with soft things (feathers, roses, velvet, etc) and place the doll inside the soft lining. The soft lining represents warm loving protection, while the sharp thorns represent an army of Avenging Angels circled about the person, with their swords drawn on the enemy. A special chant is written, using the protection prayer quotes from Kings (the Bible).

   In spite of people calling me a "Voodoo witch" (a term I dislike and have never myself used), my training was mostly in magic based Northern Native American focused Hoodoo/Root-Work which leaned more in the heavily watered-down Christian based version. So I feel that religious wise my Voodoo/Vodun knowledge is some what lacking and I have much learning to do.

   So what that means is, I'm well versed in spells and mojos and jujus and poppets and some veve and stuff like hot-footing and prayer candles and crossing/uncrossing, etc.

   Both of my grandmothers dabbled in Hoodoo root-work. Dabbled as in it was a hobby in passing, something they did once in a while.

   My Scottish grandmother was heavily into the "dark side" of root work hexes, curses, evil eyes, and also including media based sticking pins in Voodoo dolls, which is why I say some of what I was taught seems to be inaccurate! Her methods were of a more Celtic base, her being Scottish and all, and she kind of hated every body and took great delight in "cursing her enemies".

   My Native American/Kickapoo grandmother was completely the opposite. Her methods were more on the prayers and candles and blessing every one and bringing lovers together and spreading good luck side of things. And of course her method were heavily animal, spirit guide, and nature ie Native American based. After her conversion to Christianity, she still did the same things, just now all in Jesus name instead.

   Unfortunately I was quite young when they died, (8 with one 17 with the other) so much of my own root-work was done by trying to piece together scattered memories I had of them.

   And than, there was my grandfather. A Canadian son of Scottish immigrants. He was not anything close to the Voodoo traditions, but is worth mentioning as part of my learning, as he was ...uhm...a wizard of some sort. He was big on hypnotism and crystal balls and Merlin. He liked to call himself a black (as in evil) hugan (sp?). I think he thought he was in Camelot. I barely knew him, as one day he "discovered God" (God started visiting him) and he went out west and declared himself a prophet and started a really twisted crazy cult that kind of went nuts and got themselves all over the news. So, like I said he was not even close to anything Voodoo-wise, (other than the title he used, which actually should have been borka) but I mentioned him, because it kind of shows how "magic minded" the people I grew up with were, so you can understand how I entered into the Voodoo tradition, via a highly magic focused tradition that spent almost zero focus on the religious aspects, and I kind of feel my training is lopsided because of it, and in need of more balance.

   I should mention that they died like back in the 1970's so this is a really long time ago I'm talking about here.

   I excel in Hoodoo/Root-work/Conjure. I sell poppets, mojos, jujus, etc online and aid people in tandem candle prayer spells. My spells and root-work focus mostly on finding love, restoring love, healing after lost love, protection, hot-footing, abundance, restoring joy, healing, driving out evil spirits, uncrossing, and emotional healing; and reflect the fact that I remember my Kickapoo grandmother and her traditions most of all.

   I avoid such spells as hexes, curses, and anything that would result in causing harm to others.

   In addition to Spell casting and rootwork, I am also a card reader, a crystal ball scryer, a diviner (shells and stones and marbles and pendulum) and I read signs on the beach - as in the way shells, stones, driftwood, and seaweed land on the beach or the foot prints of sand pipers, etc, (locals call me The Seawitch of Old Orchard Beach because I often so my spell work on the beach). I sometimes use Native American medician wheels. I run an online psychic business as a psychic advisor/card reader, and am an angel and faerie channeling psychic who talks face to face with angels and faeries whom I am able to call to my aid via ritual magic in my huge Ezuli veve shaped rose garden in the woods in the swamp at The Laughing Gnome Hollow (which is where you see me sitting in my profile photo).

   My knowledge of deity and loa is sadly limited, and is an area I am hoping to focus on expanding. I focus mostly on working with Dambala-Wedo, Ezuli, Jesus, and Mother Mary. And I'm one of those rare few who work with "new saints", specially, Liberace and Etiole. Plus various Native American animal guides/spirits.

   Dambala-Wedo (the rainbow snake and sort of leader over the other loa) and Ezuli (protector of lovers) are really the only two loa I am well aquatinted with (and I really could learn a lot more!) While I know a little bit about some of the other loa, it's really just scattered info I've read here and there online.

   On the other hand I'm EXTREMELY well versed inside out, upside down, and backwards about Jesus and Mother Mary, a reflection of the highly Christian influence in my family. However, I know next to nothing about any of the other saints, except for St Francis.

   All in all, I feel my training was both incomplete and very none traditional. I know the Northern traditions are quite different from the Southern ones, and I know the Native American focused tradition is quiet different from the original African based one.

   Personally I would like to learn more about the more religious based versions, or what I like to call "traditional Vodun" (though I'm not certain that is the correct term). As well as to learn more about the origins and roots in Africa. I'm afraid I know very little of it and what little I do know I think may be fairly inaccurate! *blushes*

   There are several problems with my training, one being geography. There is not much of a Voodoo tradition in the Northern states, and being in Maine, I come from as north as you can get short of going to Alaska! But Maine has almost no Vodun influence in it at all, in fact my family with it's very watered down version is the only such family I have ever encountered. Around here you do not mention "Voodoo", people start screaming "witch" and than hate crimes soon follow, making those who do follow the Voodoo tradition, feel forced to water it down and say "well, I'm Catholic, that's not what it looks like, it's really an alter to Virgin Mary, see, I've even got my rosary here." So finding Vodun families around here is like finding a needle in a haystack, because no one dares openly admit what they really are.

   I am hoping to find others whom I can learn Traditional Vodun from, because I feel I have a lot of learning to do.

Wanga Spells

1. This Category has no FAQ yet!

   This Category has no FAQ yet!

2. I need a death spell and people around here say you are the best.

   People around here say a lot of things, yes, I know, I've heard them say how great and powerful my death spells are. It's kind of had to not hear them when they are standing in my drive way with picket signs and calling me "Satan's Advocate" while accussing me of haveing used death spells to kill some member of their church congregation.  Which is odd really, considering how I do not do death spells.

   I'm not sure where the rumor of my casting death spells got started. I'm pretty certain I know who started it. *sigh*  Mean spirited people who do and say mean things about others can cause so many problems.

3. But I REALLY need a death spell. Please, can't you do it just this once?

   Can I? Oh yes, I can. It's not a question of wether or not I know how to do it.  The question here is not can I do it, but will I do it. And the answer is no.

   What you are asking for is a Mirror Box Ouanga Spell or a Wanga. It is a very powerful spell useing specific sigels of archangels, rare herbs and oils, and a several week long ritual of fast and prayer. There are only certain places or "portholes" or "paranomal hotspots" on the earth where these can be done, and yes, the Laughing Gnome Hollow and the near by York Hill of Saco, are two of those spots. The end result is your calling on Avenging Angels of Firy Protection to come from their dimension into this one, and sending them on a mission to kill a specific person.

   But here is where things can go very bad, very fast. You are calling on the help, specifically of the Avenging Angels whom slaughtered the cities of Sodom and Gamora in the Bible, the same angels who appeared several other times in the Bible and throughout history...the same angels who later slaughtered 20,000 Chinese soilders...are you getting the picture here? You can call them up, but you can not control them. They will come, but they will very likely kill thousands when they arrive.

   Even a minor version of a Wanga calling upon the help of lesser angels is dangerous. Angels are not what people think they are. They are not all sweet and fluffy and fluttering around on doves wings. Read the Bible. Angels are monsterous beasts with claws and fangs, they carry sowrds and eat human flesh - THAT is how they are depicted in the Bible! And THAT is how they are.

   Calling down any angel for anything is dangerous business, because angels are so unpredictable, but calling them down and asking them to kill, is never wise. Angels are messagers and servants of God, and they have orders from him, to help and obey humans, whenever humans ask for their help. They will help you do ANYTHING you ask them to do - be it right or wrong, good or evil, for this is the nature of angels.

   It is far better to call on the angels and ask for there help in overcoming, forgiving, and recieving protection or justic from the person you seek to kill. Why do you need a death spell? Is some one trying to hurt you or your family? A protection spell is far better. Are you seeking justice or revenge against a murderer? A justic spell is better.

   Remember too, that you can not take a life or cause a life to be taken, without suffering ill consequenses down the road. Every energy you put out there will come back on you, so it's better to put out posative energy than negative energy. Death spells breed negative energy and I will not help you either take a life or create negative energy. I will however help you with protection and justice spells.

Avoiding Scams

1. I had a spell done, but it didn't work well at all. The psychic said it was more difficult than she thought and wanted a lot more money to make it work. Does that make sense and should I have paid her more?

   No. More money does not make a spell more powerful. This is a common scam. Avoid any one who tells you the spell failed than requests more money: if it didn't work the first time, it won't work any better the second time.

   There are many reason why a spell wouldn't work, and one of those reasons is that no spell was ever actually cat at all, because you were dealing with a scam artist. A true professional psychic, rootworker, conjur doctor, or spell caster will NEVER tell you to give them more money to try again.

2. A psychic got upset with me when I said I didn't want to work with her any longer....

   ...She said she was going to reverse the work she had already done for me. Can she do that?

   No. This is a common scare tactic used by scammers. A spell is akin to a pray and it only has as much power as you the reciever put into it. By saying she is reverseing the spell, she is putting that negative thought in your mind to try to scare you.

   If you begin to fear her, negative energy will grow around you, not from her, but from your own fear. You will staart LOOKING for bad things to happen, and you will start PERSEVING anything negative as being caused by her.

   This is the true nature of so-called spell reversal. In actuallity she has done nothing and nothing is different than it was, all that has changed is you are now paying closer attention to negative events which were already there. It's a trick of reverse psychology and has nothing to do with spell casting at all. And once you stop worrying about her, you will suddenly realize that there never was anything to worry about to begin with.

Code of Ethics

1. Do you have any moral or religious limitations on the kind of magic spells you will perform for others? If so, what are they?

   Yes. I live by the creed: "Harm none". I will do nothing that will cause harm to any living beaing, human or animal.

   There is one place in particular, where clients often feel they are doing no harm: adultry. And no, adultery is not limited to just sex - kissing a non-spouse, hugging a non-spouse, or yes - you are starting to remember that said I was a Mormon aren't you? If you are cheating on your spouse, please do not come to me unless you are seeking a Reconciliation Spell, to get back together with your spouse. If you are with some one and they are married to some one else, only come to me if you are seeking to cut ties with the married person. I will NOT help you break up a couple.

2. Are there any certified spiritual workers or rootworkers who are more effective than you are at working on the particular condition or situation for which I am consulting you, and, if so, can you recommend them?

   As of this date, I have not worked with any of them personally, so can not recommend them based on that. However I have talked online with several of them and they are all wonderful people. Each has different things they do and differant ways of doing those things. I recommend you go to this page to find a list of AIRR-certified spiritual workers or rootworkers by the types of things they do:.

   I work mostly with love, luck, money, uncrossing, and protection spells. My method is by spell casting, poppets, candles, mojo bags, card reading (angel, faerie, and saint cards), crystal scrying, alter prayers, prayer bottles (honey jars and spell bottles), spirit baths, and shell/stone divination. I use partitions to Jesus, Mother Mary, Dambala-Wedo, Ezuli, St. Francis, Etiole, and Liberace. While I MAY do other methods or use client requested saint & lwa, I NEVER do anthing intended to harm: curses, hexes, jinxes, revenge, break-up, death spells and the like. I also do not work with court cases, the law, gambling, or legal work.

   I say this because, while I use the methods mentioned, my methods may not be right for every client. You may want help winning a court case and I do not do that. You may want egg divination, and I do not do that. Maybe you want non-Christian spells (all of my spells incorperate Jesus and Bible verses in them) or maybe you want Goddess based spells instead...if so I am not the right person for the job. There are other rootworkers who use different methods. I'm not saying any method works better than others, I'm saying I only use methods I am comfortable useing, and other rootworkers use methods they are comfortable using. There are lots of different rootworkers in the AIRR, and each has unquie methods and goals, so I suggest you check out each one, contact a few of them even, and see who you feel is right for you. You may find one is better at dollie spells and another is better at card reading, well, don't feel guilty about getting just a reading from one and just dollies from the other. It's perfectly okay to go to more than one rootworker. It's okay to get a love spell done through one rootworker and a court spell done through another. Each rootworker has their strong points.

Hoodoo Credentials

1. Do you belong to a professional association that requires rootworkers to abide by a code of ethics?

   At this moment I do not belong to any sort of professional association, organization, or group of rootworkers, no. Though I am looking into a few of the ones out there, and considering joining one, should one meet my needs. I'll let you know if I join one in the future.

   On the other hand I do have a Code of Ethics which I abide by.

2. Can you provide me with any references from among your clients?

   Maine has a client confedenciality law which does not allow me to tell you who my clients are. If at some point in the future I had clients who were willing to be used as "referances" to new clients, I will keep such a list, but at the moment, I have no clients willing to publically admit they seek magical councel, or willing to meet with strangers regardeing such matters. You must understand that I am a VERY controversial person (Google me) and many people do not wish to admit to being my clients or are afraid to let their friends and family know they have ever had contact with me.

3. What are your weaknesses as a magical spell caster and rootworker?

   I am not well versed in "traditional divination", in fact I have no idea how to read Tarot Cards as they are meant to be read, and my version of shell divination is nothing like what I see other shell diviners doing. I used methods and meanings that I taught myself, and I have never studied Tarot or any other form of divination, so the menings I see in things are quite different from what others see in the same things. People who are used to other readers will say "But so-and-so says that means this, why do you say it means that?" Than they'll tell me how "Well, you are wrong, I've been to dozens of card readers and every time that card shows up, it ALWAYS means..." or "But I studied Tarot and I know for a fact that you are reading that card wrong, because..." All I can say is, I'm reading the cards intuitively, I see what I see.

   But the same thing goes for my candle or doll spells or for what meanings I give to each color. I use them in the way I see the meanings to be. Again, I have never studied these things. These are things I started doing as a child, and the meanings of colors are the way I see those colors to mean.

Paying for Readings, Rootwork, etc.

1. Why should I pay for psychic readings? If it is a God-given gift you should be doing it for free.

   Okay, I'll remember that , next time you go in for sugery and the doctor wants to charge you $200,000 for 2 hours of his God-given gift of healing.

   I'll remember that too, when you are asked to pay $2,000 a month for the God-given gift of eletricity to light and heat your house.

   I will remember that when you pay $200 for a weeks worth of God-given food.

    

2. How do I pay for my reading?

   In person I accept cash only.

   Online I accept PayPal only.

3. I don't have a Paypal account, can you just take credit cards?

   Due to the high cost of merchant accounts, processing credit cards independently is not an option for me at this time. Paypal however does offer the option to pay for your purchase with a credit card, without actually signing up for an account. In the checkout window, select the Click Here button next to "If you do not currently have a PayPal account".

4. I do not want to use Paypal. Can I send you a money order?

   I do not currently accept postal money orders, personal checks, credit cards, cash in the mail, Western Union, wire transferes, or any other method of pay not listed as accepted pay above. I will update this if that changes, but it's very unlikly to change.

5. How do you make money? Do you have a job other than hoodoo or is psychic rootwork a full time job?

   I do not use my ministry as a source of income, because in my ministry my goals are simple: worship God and allow others the freedom to do the same, thus why I started a church that welcomed anyone regardless of religion, race, sex, etc.

   For my income I am a multi-faceted freelance worker:

   • Artist (painter)
   • Author (novels and short stories)
   • Writer (non-fiction articles, books, and sermons)
   • Seamstress and Crafter (dolls, religious icons, shrines, CosPlay costumes and other stuff)
   • Hoodoo Conjur Doctor aka A Voodoo Witch Doctor (psychic, medium, card reader, channeler, divination, hoodoo rootwork, candle spells, etc)

   I make 100% of my income online either selling my products and services, either on my own web sites (I run over 200 web sites, besides the one you are on right now, which I have built over the years) or via commissioned websites (such as Zazzle and Etsy), or writing for e-zines.

   My top income maker is Zazzle ($200 - $600 per month) than Squidoo ($90 to $200 per month).

   All of the rest (AllPosters, LinkShare, Commission Junction, Amazon, CafePress, Associated Content, HubPages, Etsy, LuLu, Spoonflower, and eBay) each bring in under $50 per month, but they do bring in enough so that when I combine everything at the end of the month, I am able to live off of my online income fulll time; not as well as I'd like, but it does get a little higher each month, so over all I'm glad I switched to working at home online full time. The benefits of being home outweigh the low income. But yeah, there you have it.

   My making 100% of my income through these various channels, allows me the freedom to run my church without having to include requests for "tithes", "offerings", etc, which in turn allows me to focus on the spiritual side of the services rather than worrying about where the money is coming from to keep the church open.

   Oh yeah, and by doing it this way I am not tax exempt, because none of my income is coming from parishioners, so I pay taxes just like any one else.

Shipping & Handling

1. This Category has no FAQ yet!

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About Me: Wendy C. Allen aka EelKat

1. Do you preach according to the precepts of a particular religion, and if so, which one? (I wish to find a pastor who will not go against my own religious, moral, and spiritual training and beliefs.)

   Sort of yes and sort of no. I am a Christian, so everything I do is done "In the name of Jesus" and if you are uncomfortable with that phrase being used, than I am probably not the right rootworker for you to be working with. I do not however require my clients to be Christians.

   Here are a few things you might want to know before you work with me:

   I am accepting of all religions, both Christian and non-Christian.

   I was raised a Mormon and I still identify myself as Mormon.

   I was taught many things by my Native American and Seventh Day Adventist grandmother.

   I attended a Calvinist Bible Seminary.

   I've frequented many Pentacostal tent revivals.

   I love Liberace. No really, I'm madly in love with the guy. I'd marry him. That's why I'm not married. I'll marry him in the next life.

   I believe in angels, faeries, aliens, and UFOs.

   I channel and talk to said angels, faeries, aliens, and UFOs.

   I am a vegetarian animal rights activist.

   I am against war and for peace, but I also support the American soilders in their fight to defend the freedom of all mankind.

   Some of my best friends in the world are gay, transvestites, and drag queens and I support their right to marry, and as an ordained minister will marry same sex couples.

   My grandfather helped in the founding of a famous UFO suicide cult that offed themselves with laced kool-aid.

   And I have Autism.

2. Who Are You REALLY? Who are you when u r "not preaching"? what kind of person are you, what social group are u, what clothes do u wear, random hobbies, things like that...

   I am a writer, editor, publisher, artist, doll maker, animal rights activist, costume maker, make-up artist, sale representative, and fashion designer.

   I write in the Gothic, Horror, and Science Fiction genres. My works include a horror series, and it's spin-offs. Some of my other writing habits include children's stories, comic books, and the dark retellings of classic folk lore & fairy tales. I am the owner of The Twighlight Manor Press.

   I live on a farm, which is the headquarters for The Pidgie Fund, where we take in roosters and feral cats, and other animals in need of a home. I'm currently caring for 70+ roosters and hens, 14 cats, and 1 dog, but the animals here change over time and have in the past included horses, goats, ducks, squirrels, turtles, wild birds, and just about every type of domestic animal you could name.

   I also do gardening, both flowers and veggies.

   I live on a farm, in the forest, on the beach. I am very in touch with nature. I spend more time with animals and trees than I do with humans. Me and my dog spend hours each week on the beach collecting shells.

   In alphabetical order: I like Alan Rickman, Alice Cooper, Alice in Wonderland, anime, birds, candy, Carl Barks, cartoons, cats, C*C*DeVille, Colombo, comic books, CosPlay, Darkwing Duck, David Bowie, Disney, dogs, Don Rosa, Donald Duck, Dr. Who, dvds, eels, Etiole, fashion, Gothic, haunted houses, horror, ice cream, InuYasha, Jack Sparrow, Johnny Depp, Kieth Laumer, Liberace, manga, movies, NegaDuck, peacocks, pigeons, Lord Sesshomaru, Prof. Snape, Retief, roosters, sci-fi, Scrooge McDuck, Sir Roderic, Star Trek, Tom Baker, Twighlight Manor, Uncle Scrooge, video games, Vincent Price, Willy Wonka, writing, X-Files, Xena, Zorro.

   When I go out in public, usually it's to one of the five local libraries, where I practically live. I am a complete and total bookworm, and own a private library with a collection of more than 10,000 books and over 7,000 comic books, and still I end up at the public libraries doing research for my writing, mostly because I just love being in a library surrounded by all those books!

   I dream about opening my own Gothic fashion shop; Gothic~Lolita~CosPlay Clothen Store, that has yet to be built. Everything is still in the planning stages.

   As for what I wear: I change from CosPlay to Glam to Gothic to Lolita to Punk to Renaissance depending on my current mood. I tend to dress like Liberace most days. I've been one or the other since the early 1980's, and often a mixture of all at once. Most people who see me call me "Goth", but I don't really think I fit in with the overall Goth look, but whatever. I prefer the term historical reenactor myself.

   One of the dangers of being a Goth-CosPlay-type person in an area where no one but you is a Goth-CosPlay-type person, is that every time you set a foot outside, people gawk at you and start asking the silliest stupid dang questions. Like:

   Are you promoting a play for the local theater?

   Are you on the way to a costume party?

   Is there a Renaissance Fair nearby?

   Are you a circus clown?

   OMG! It's a Harry Potter fan!

   Are you a witch?

   . . .and my personal favorite:

   What the hell planet did you drop off of?!?

   yea . . .okay . . . whatever.

   So what prompts these non-ending string of questions everywhere I go? My cloths.

   CosPlay is my life. I have never been to a Con, but that hasn't stopped me from wearing "costumes", though technically these are not costumes as they are my actual street cloths or garb and therefor I do not call them costumes because I do not think of them as costumes. I do not own any "normal" non-costume "street cloths". What you see me wearing as CosPlay type things IS the way I dress when I'm not CosPlaying, because for me, this is not about "playing". My CosPlay can more correctly be termed as "historical reenactment of fantasy costumes".

   My clothen style includes velvet, capes, empire gowns, gowns with trains, burnoose, shawls, runas, fishnet hose, striped stockings, combat boots, velvet, top-hats, long dresses, ruffled frilly skirts, cosplay, Gothic, Lolita, Victorian, Edwardian, velvet, frock coats, Alice in Wonderland, vampire fashions, Medieval fashions, crinolines & petticoats, kimono, ethnic costumes, eyelash-fringe fabric, sequins, beads, glitter, lace, cloaks, ruffles, broomstick skirts, stripes, plaid, poet blouses, peasant dresses, fairy tale princess gowns, faerie outfits, wizard-look stuff, big hats, bright colored hats, ballet flats, platforms, anything that Dracula would love to wear, and also stuff like worn by Jem*, The Holograms, and The Misfits...and of course, Liberace.

   Whenever I go out in public, my conversations with strangers sounds something like this:

   I was dressing like Jem, before Jem was invented.

   I love anything made of velvet!

   I don't like pants: won't wear them, won't own them.

   I the 1980's I wore min-skirts, but as the years have gone by, my dresses and skirts got longer; today my hems sweep the floor and they often have trains. I have one dress that has 7 yards of fabric on the skirt alone, it can be worn with or without hoops.

   No, what I'm wearing is not a costume.

   Yes, I dress like this every day, all day long, even around the house, when working in the garden, and when shoveling manure out of the barn. Yes I am a farmer. Yes I do dress like this while doing farm work.

   No, I don't own any "normal" clothes.

   No, I can't tell you where I bought them, because I didn't buy them, I sewed them.

   No, I can't tell you where to buy the pattern, I didn't buy a pattern I made the pattern. I've been sewing since I was 6 years old when I made my first doll. I made my first ball-gown at age 12. At age 16 I graduated from a 2 year course in fashion design & merchandising. I've spent most of my life studying fashion history and the art of recreating historical clothen from the Gothic periods (1300 - 1500 & 1850 - 1930), and those are the clothes I thus wear.

   No I already told you this is not a costume, these are my regular cloths, I don't care if you think this is a costume, it is not, please stop asking me if it is.

   I don't like people who think I'm wearing a costume even after been told that I am not.

   Yes, I know this looks like a Willy Wonka costume, yes, Johnny Depp inspired it. Yes, I do wear a top hat everywhere I go. No, I repeat this is not a costume.

   Yes, I REALLY am making a historical reproduction of Lord Sesshomaru's costume, and yes, I do intend to wear it daily as part of my street cloths, fluffy tail, battle armor, and all.

   No, I'm not crazy, I just hate that Halloween only comes once a year so now I live every day like it was Halloween.

   No, THIS . . . IS . . . NOT . . . A . . . COSTUME . . . I already told you, I always dress like this. I've been dressing like this for the last 20 years. Please stop making me repeat myself.

   I have had that conversation so many times now it's burned in my brain.

   I think the funniest thing is that I am constantly asked for my ID...."You got to be over 18 . . ." yadda, yadda, yadda

   Than I whip out my ID... "Is this real? Wait, you're really THAT old? . . .but . . .but . . your cloths.... I thought you were a teenager! I'm so sorry, I didn't realize... it's just that your cloths... I thought..."

   Honey, I haven't been a teenager for 20 years! But thank you for thinking I was one, it's not every day some one my age gets mistaken for a teenager... will, with me it is, but for other folks my age . . .

   Well, that's me. And as you can tell, I really like to write . . . a lot! LOL!

3. Why Dont you Eat Meat?

   It has nothing to do with animal rights or health, my reason tends to freak people out when they hear it, and my controversial topic lenses always inspire freaked out comments, so I wonder what kind of freaked out comments a lens on this subject will bring? But anyways, I wrote an article answering this question here:  http://www.squidoo.com/No-Meat

The Pidgie Fund

1. This Category has no FAQ yet!

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Etiole

1. What is Etiole and where is he from? Have you asked him? what does he say he is? Where does he say he is from?

   I asked him and he said this:

   "I is Siren, Quebec be mah home."

   The land where he lives in Maine (Laughing Gnome Hollow)  was part of Quebec until 1812.
   

2. Is he a Sirian from The Pleiadians, is that what he means when he says he is a Siren?

   I Googled to find out what they were talking about. Ah, yes, aliens again. I see. Okay. So I asked him. He says:

   "Humans and theys questions is annoying. Knows not of Pleases. Sirens is Sirens. Sirians is Sirens I knows not of this. My father born here. I born here. My mother she come from France. His mother she fall from the stars. I always is here."

   Does that answer your question?

The Goldeneagle

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Copyright Issues

1. I love the pictures on this site, where did you get them and can I use them on my site?

   No, you may not. All of the photos on this web site are of me and Laughing Gnome Hollow.

   Most of the photos were taken by me. The photos of me, where taken by Etiole.

   All the photos and drawings found on this site are copyrighted to The Twighlight Manor Press and are used here with permission.